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post #1 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-12-08, 03:55 AM Thread Starter
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Well, I got so worked up about my next story idea, that I'm going to be working on Chronicles of Deimos, it's sequel (the last Altair story I'm going to write for a while), and this one, which will be a bit more gritty and realistic then Altair's heroic storyline.

Anyhow, the main point is this also takes place in the early 42nd Millienium, so don't be confused if some things stick out as weird.

Of course, this is MY story, so things are bound to be a little weird....
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

F.N.G.

Corporal Tobias "Twitch" Stalger had seen his fair share of the Guard.

When the commissars had preached to his homeworld of Basis, he hadn't hesitated to sign up. He had taken a day and a half to gather his meager belongings from his hab, and had left his parents weeping at the front doors.

He had been met by a friendly sergeant named Reikan and a gaggle of new recruits. The sergeant gestured with a gloved hand at the back door of a truck. The boys climbed into the back.

Six hours later, a bruised and sore group pulled themselves from the truck. Tobias later learned that Reikan had removed the rear shocks on the truck before coming to get them.

Basic was easy enough. He was issued a bunk and a footlocker, which had two uniforms, a set of flak armor, a helmet, a kneepad, his belt (complete with a canteen and a bayonet), and an entrenching tool. A surly armorer provided him with a lasgun and laspistol.

Two weeks into Basic, he met a private named Kjel Berenson. Tobias learned that Kjel was only two bunks away, and with a little bribery to his bunkmate, Kjel slept on the top bunk of Tobias' bed.

The two quickly became inseperable, forcing Sergeant Reikan to put them both in the same fireteam, along with Ignis "Izzy" Chambers, Viktor Ghesmane, and a shadowy, thin sergeant everyone just called Ghost.

After four weeks, they began to drill.

"Hey, Twitch, how many do the Reds still have?" hissed Izzy over the comm.

"Four, Sarge took out their sergeant."

"Gotcha. I've got two over here, Kjel and Vick are with me. Contact." Tobias heard shots.

"Sorry. Hard Contact."

Ghost suddenly appeared next to him, making Tobias flinch. The man seemed to simply warp from place to place, and almost never spoke, earning him his name.

Ghost whipped his hand into a series of signals. Tobias' eyes widened at their meaning.

Two right above.

He looked up, each beat of his heart a bass drum.

Sure enough, two of Red Team's men were crouched in a makeshift treestand a dozen feet from where he and Ghost lay prone in the muddy undergrowth.

He heard them whispering, cursing himself for responding to Izzy's vox.

One leapt down from the stand, not ten feet from him. The man walked casually in Tobias' direction, his boots making noises like the habs falling to Tobias.

He was right underneath the man. He felt branches compress his back.

There was no way the man couldn't see him. He wondered where Ghost had gone.

The man squatted down above him, examining a bootprint. Tobias saw the look of terror in the man's eyes for a split second before his mouth opened to scream a warning to his comrade. Tobias leapt straight up, putting a paint round square in the man's visor. His friend tripped out of the stand and fell to the ground. Tobias was hit by the paint-blinded man in his stuggles on the ground. He tripped, cursing. The surviving Red lined up a shot. At this range, there was no need to aim high.

A paint round the size of Tobias' fist smote the man in the side of his head, knocking him out instantly. His helmet, upper chest, and visor were instantly coated in red paint.

Ghost stalked out of the treeline, holding a bolter. Smoke coiled from the barrel.

"Twitch, this is Izzy. Vick got hit, but we managed to hit both of them. Clear?"

"Yeah. Me n' Sarge got the missing two."

Ghost was impassive behind his emotionless visor. Tobias realised he had never seen the man's face. His sergeant wore a full-faced Kasrkin helmet, along with a full-length camoflague trenchcoat, making him almost impossible to spot in the dense forests of his homeworld.


Ghost put his hand on Tobias' shoulder. He nodded a "job well done", and left, carrying the knocked-out Red Team man over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. The blinded Red was still foundering in the underbrush. Tobias helped him to his feet and removed his helmet for him. The man nodded his thanks and together they left, meeting the other six men in the observaton shack a half-mile away.

You'll forgive me, but you must be mistaken. I've met your makers, and they don't even know your name...

GIVING CHASE- ORDO HERETICUS FIC
(Updated Mar. 19)

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post #2 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-12-08, 01:14 PM
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sweet nice cool. nxt plz !!!

bleeding from countless wounds he charged.... full speed in to the bathroom holding his breath. this could be it this will be the end of me. the young marine thought. alas brother Bag Fart had just been in here.
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post #3 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-13-08, 02:15 PM
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Really nice, especially that you used my name in your story

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Does his pompous ass Lordship even remember how to close his fist? I mean other than around a haunch of meat. You have taxed me for the last time sire!
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post #4 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-13-08, 09:57 PM
 
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Awesome start, can't wait for the second part ^^
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post #5 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-15-08, 06:16 PM Thread Starter
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Wow! Been a bit. Eh, I have an excuse though. My cousin just graduated from Great Lakes Naval...we had a big party. Oh, and SBC Yahoo! decided it hated me and killed my Internet connection.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

BASIC

The same surly armorer relieved Tobias of the practice lasguns they had been given for training. The fat man leaned under the counter and handed him four heavy autoguns and a duffel bag full of clips and SOPMOD gear. Tobias handed the guns to Kjel, and the clips to Viktor. The armorer turned to Ghost.

"Yer special request came in terday. You wan it now?"

Ghost nodded behind his impassive visor. The armorer nodded and pulled a burlap sack onto the counter. A massive clip spilled out of the bag.

"Bolter shells?" asked Izzy in incredulity.

Ghost nodded as the armorer strained under the weight of a Bolter as he hefted it onto the squad's side of the table.

Ghost picked up the weapon one-handed and inserted a clip, cocking the weapon.

Tobias looked on in awe. He'd only ever seen Bolters used on Leman Russ and Chimera. Obviously Ghost had learned the Bolter well during their practice drills.

The armorer looked at the squad, obviously familiar with their smiles.

"Careful these first few days, these are as dangerous ter idiots are they are ter enemies."


A half-hour later, Kjel and Tobias were on the practice ranges.

Sixteen targets were set up, representing Orks, Hrud, Eldar, Tyranids, Humans, and even massive, armored Space Marine figures (depending on the training for the day). Today, a group of human cut-outs surrounded a slab of Ceramite cut into a Chaos Marine shape.

Kjel and Tobias opened fire, autogun rounds scything through the flak armored targets. The Chaos Marine target remained impervious to everything. Kjel pulled the pin on a frag grenade and hurled it downrange. The target was peppered with fragments,but remained impervious.

Ghost appeared next to them. He pulled the Bolter from a holster on his back, and seeming to only extend his arms, pulled the trigger.

Three shots rang out, three holes appeared clean through the head of the Marine target.

You'll forgive me, but you must be mistaken. I've met your makers, and they don't even know your name...

GIVING CHASE- ORDO HERETICUS FIC
(Updated Mar. 19)

Hat in the Ring
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post #6 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-16-08, 01:15 PM
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Very cool drivingrange practice. Keep it up.

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Does his pompous ass Lordship even remember how to close his fist? I mean other than around a haunch of meat. You have taxed me for the last time sire!
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post #7 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-17-08, 11:41 AM
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nice keep it up !!

bleeding from countless wounds he charged.... full speed in to the bathroom holding his breath. this could be it this will be the end of me. the young marine thought. alas brother Bag Fart had just been in here.
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post #8 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-20-08, 02:28 AM Thread Starter
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EN TEMPLAR NOMINAE

Major Kowalski moved through the platoon, occasionally checking a trooper's autogun or uniform.

Tobias and Kjel were standing side by side with Viktor and Izzy, with Ghost standing with the last of what might pass for parade attention.

Kowalski stopped before Ghost as if to berate him. Ghost's breathing remained even. The major swallowed, and turned to Kjel.

"Trooper! Name and number!"

"Trooper Berenson, Kjel A! Serial zero-zero-seven-two-dash-six sir!

"Weapon!"

Kjel handed him his weapon.

The major checked the bayonet lug, then the flash surpressor, and the cartridge port.

"Trooper Berenson,what should you do to prevent your weapon misfiring?"

"Well sir,first you should recite the litany of unjamming, then-"

"Dammit soldier! I said what should you doto prevent a misfire, not what he should do when it fails!"

"He should check the ammuntion ports, lugs, bolt, and trigger everyday sir."

"And if it fails him?"

Kjel began to sweat.

"He should affix bayonets sir."

The major looked as if he was on the verge of violence. "With the enemy upon him,trooper?"

"Then he should club the enemy with the stock of his weapon, sir."

"Where, soldier?"

"The head, neck, and face, sir."

The major grinned. Tobias flinched.

"I see."

With that, the major smashed Kjel's face with the butt of the auogun. Blood flowed from his nose.

Kjel fell to his knees, clutching his face. Kowalski tossed the gun at his feet.

"Clean that filth up, Berenson, this weapon is so dirty, it'll fail after a few shots."

Ghost looked dispassionately at his trooper, then venomously at the major. He tightened the clasps on his hemet.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Gaud, da basturd broke by dose!"

"I'm surprised he didn't knock you too, Twitch. Thought you were a good punching bag too."

Kjel had a large bandage wrapped around his face, covering the scar where Kowalski had broken his nose.

Viktor walked up, carrying five trays of barely identifiable food.

"God-Emperor, I thought the stuff they served at Basic was bad." said Izzy, holding a glob upside-down on his spoon.

Viktor pointed at Izzy's new Medicae patch. "Maybe you should use it to glue people back together."

Tobias chuckled. "It'd work better then the stuff they give us."

Izzy gestured with his medpack. "That's because you don't get all the stuff. You get hurt, you need a medic. Just scream loud and I'll come running."

Ghost refused a tray from Viktor, who piled the glop onto his own tray.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, Major Kowalski promoted the entire division to active service.

A party was held in the 792nd's mess.

The next day, Tobias woke up with an empty mess can on his head, a thousand buzzing noises in his ears, and a serious lack of coordination.

Ghost's helmeted face swan into view. The man hadn't even drank the night before, deigning to remain in the practice ranges, firing an exorbident amount of bolter shells into the armorer's walls and targets (often both).

Tobias shook his head to clear his vision, but his head throbbed painfully and he slumped to the wall. Ghost had a white and red patch on his trenchcoat, and a white diamond-shaped splotch on his helmet. A red cross was emblazoned on it.

He dropped a similar patch on Tobias' chest. A note from Kjel was stuck to it.

We've got a name, Twitch. 792nd Templars.

You'll forgive me, but you must be mistaken. I've met your makers, and they don't even know your name...

GIVING CHASE- ORDO HERETICUS FIC
(Updated Mar. 19)

Hat in the Ring
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post #9 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-20-08, 01:00 PM
 
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That was wicked.

Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is an "autogun" like an assault rifle or a really fast firing lasgun?



Edit: don't worry I just checked it up on lexicanum.com
Why don't they just use autoguns in the IG rather than lasguns >_>

Last edited by Luciferi; 03-20-08 at 02:16 PM.
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post #10 of 44 (permalink) Old 03-20-08, 01:48 PM
 
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amazing you should get this stuff published
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