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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-04-08, 04:01 AM Thread Starter
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Default Raid on Helgorn's Gorge (Ork Story)

This is my first attempt at writing Warhammer fiction. Right now I'm in the process of forming an ork army and in an effort to come up with some ideas for fluff I'm working on writing a couple of short stories. Below is part one of the "Raid on Helgorn's Gorge", which tells the tale of a raid made by a unit of kommandos on an Imperial Guard base. I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear any feedback.

“Why are we throwing potatoes? Why aren’t we throwing real grenades?”
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-04-08, 04:02 AM Thread Starter
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Part 1:

Garggork peered down at the Imperial Guard encampment from his concealed position on the ridge top. Below him he saw Imperial patrols meandering through the tents and entrenched positions of the base and he could hear the dull murmur of their voices in the crisp night air. Spotlights scanned along the intervening ground, bathing large circular swaths of desert scrub in their blinding light.

Garggork heard something making its way through the brush behind him. Turning, he saw it was merely Nagthull creeping, though not too stealthily, towards the shrub which concealed Garggork.

“Oy, Nag”, Garggork grunted, “Der’s oommies down dere. Yuz makin’ more noize dan a grot wit’ ‘is arse shot off.”

“Don’t ya worry now, boss.” Nagthull grinned, displaying his unnaturally (for an ork) white teeth. “Soon az I git in close wit’ me choppa it’z gonin’ ta be all over fer de oommies.”

“All over fer uz, maybe.” Garggork looked grim and Nagthull’s smile dissipated. “Dere’s o’er a thousand oommies in dat camp,” at this Nagthull looked puzzled, clearly not sure how large a thousand was. Garggork continued, though slightly annoyed at Nagthull’s incompetence, “an’ dey haz plenty more tankz and bombz ta boot. Remember, we’re ‘ere fer just one reason, an’ gettin’ killt ain’t one of ‘em.”

Garggork paused once more as he heard heavy feet plodding through the scrub. Three more kommando’s emerged from the shadows to be illuminated in the light of the twin moons. They stopped when they reached Garggork and Nagthull, waiting for the word to continue on into the Imperial Guard base. Garggork felt slightly uneasy even as the battle lust began to drive through his veins. “Alright, boyz,” he whispered, “keep yur ‘eads down an’ move real quiet like.”

He surveyed the four kommandos in front of him, all of them looked fully eager to charge into battle. Garggork just hopped they would be fully eager to sneak into one. He inhaled deeply, gripping his choppa tightly.

“Alright boyz,” he said at last, “’ere we go!”

“Right boss,” Nagthull grunted, “but I’se got just one question. ‘Ow big is a thousand?”

“Why are we throwing potatoes? Why aren’t we throwing real grenades?”

Last edited by War_Ape; 03-07-08 at 02:38 AM.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-04-08, 09:08 PM
 
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Cool I like it as it is probably hard to write fiction for orks, it's got some humour and you've shown a lot of good stuff here. Well done.

Last edited by angels of fire; 03-07-08 at 06:53 PM.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-05-08, 03:10 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks, I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. As far as writing ork fiction, I've found that it can be a bit of a balancing act. I want my characters to have enough personality to feel unique but at the same time avoid devulging into human personality archetypes; as essentially most orks don't seem to vary to much in character (there is no such thing as a really "nice" ork or a really "mean" ork, they are just orks).

Hopefully I'll finish my second part here in a bit, so we will see how the raid progresses.

“Why are we throwing potatoes? Why aren’t we throwing real grenades?”
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-06-08, 06:11 AM
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This was really good and I'm curious to see how the raid turns out. I would be confused also if I was an ork since their number system only goes up to 5 before it goes to Lotz. Nicely done as having just the right amount of ork speak is a hard thing to do. Love the fluff can't wait to see more.


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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-06-08, 10:35 PM Thread Starter
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Alright, here's part two of the raid. ((Thanks for reminding of the 5+ = lots, morfangdakka. I changed the last sentence of the first paragraph to more accurately represent this ))

Part II:

“Ow big is a thousand?”, Garrgork murmured as he slithered through the brushland, “Ow dumb kan ya git? I swears I met squigs in da cess-dump brainier dan that lad. Every ork knows it’s a 'ell of a lot.”

Garggork grinned, quite pleased at his mathematical prowess. His jubilation halted abruptly as the spotlight passed directly over him. He froze, suppressing the orkoid instincts which screamed at him to charge forward. But the guardsmen didn’t notice him, they, half asleep from a chronic shortage of recaff in the camp, continued to scan up and down the rugged hills and brush country.

Garggork too was surprised. He was sure he would be spotted, given the rather unusual nature of his “camouflage” trousers. He had purchased them from a Bad Moon merchant back on Kertome, and while quite stylish, he discovered from experience that the pink and white pattern they sported was less than ideal for stealth purposes. Undaunted, Garggork pressed onward, his hands reaching out into the darkness, his ears acute for any sign of danger.

As he neared the sandbags of the imperial ramparts, Garggork could hear human voices echoing in the chilled night air. He paused as the sounds drew nearer, and the marching of feeble human feet became audible to Garggork’s ears. But the patrol turned back just as it was about to round the corner of the outer earthworks, and the murmur of voices grew dim and stillness returned to the gorge.

The ork pressed forward into the encampment. He slipped through a line of razorwire and over a defensive line of sandbags and trenches. He looked over his shoulder to see how the other four kommandos were progressing. He could only pick out Nagthull, whose stealth expertise were lacking in all areas. Nagthull was trying to hide behind a shrub that wouldn’t have concealed a gretchin, much less an ork who took more gear that a Flash Git on parade. He must have seen Garggork looking back at him, because he gave a wave towards Garrgork’s position, grinning like an idiot.

Garrgork turned his head back around to face the center of the Imperial camp, trying not to think how it was by the grace of Mork that Nagthull did not reveal their presence. The wind suddenly shifted directions, bringing to Garrgork’s nose the first scent of their objective. Sensing that his target was near, he eagerly pulled his kustom night-vision goggles down over his eyes, and peered into darkness. It took a few moments for the goggles to adjust to the exact light level, and even then the vision they provided was granulated and slightly distorted; but as the world came into focus, even the generally austere Garrgork couldn’t suppress the grin that now stretched across his face. He saw off to his left, the objective of their raid.

“Why are we throwing potatoes? Why aren’t we throwing real grenades?”

Last edited by War_Ape; 03-07-08 at 10:04 PM.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 03-07-08, 06:52 PM
 
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Nice more would be great!
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