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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-09-10, 08:29 PM Thread Starter
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Default Emperor's Elite: An Imperial Guard Fanfiction

Okay, here goes. I won't update for about a week 'cause I'll be on holiday, but yeah, here is my first chapter.

Emperor’s Elite
Chapter 1 - Boss


“It is always better to Find your Enemy, before your enemy finds you,” - Commander Tulathan, Vastadt 4th Independent Tank Regiment

GUARDSMAN RAPHAEL STUDIED his lasgun. He had been issued with a special type, a scoped one with increased range. He nicknamed it ‘Emperor’s Wrath’. He whispered a silent prayer to the God-Emperor, and held his weapon up so he could see through the scope.

His target, an Ork Mek, was busy working on repairing a looted Chimera that had been stolen from his regiment, the 115th Cadian Shock troopers, in the battle which had just occurred. Both sides had withdrawn, but Raphael‘s Officer had ordered him to keep the attack on. The Mek was an ugly creature, even for an Ork. But that did not matter. Nothing mattered, as long as Raphael hit his target.

He pulled the trigger.

The Mek’s head was dislodged from its body with one clean shot, hitting a small Gretchin concealed from Raphael’s view. He could barley hear the scream of the dying Grot at this distance, concealed in an abandoned Imperial Bunker.

Before the Xenos could work out where the shot came from, Raphael turned and left his viewpoint, sprinting through rusty machinery as if he didn’t even know it was there. He scrambled down a ladder and pushed open a door bearing a weathered Imperial Eagle.

An hour later, he had reached the field command, and his officer. Colonel Andrex had been in command of the 115th since Devac, an incident where loyalist and traitor clashed over a volcanic planet with only one goal - victory.

“Did you find your target?” was the stern words of the Colonel.

“Yes boss,” replied Raphael.

“You never learn, do you Raphael? It’s either Yes, sir,” corrected the Colonel. “Or yes Colonel. Never boss. That‘s one lesson which you never learn.”

“Yes Colonel,” replied Raphael, and looked at his fellow Guardsmen. They were an unwelcoming bunch. One man, Demetrius, had a bandage around his head and was smoking a cigarette, and Raphael could smell the smoke from the other side of the room.

He looked over at the desk, where The Colonel had begun pushing markers of the regiments under his command around a map with a stick. “If we manage to push the Xenos back to Hive Polstanius, we’ll be able to meet up with the Astartes attacking from the other side.”

“Colonel, Astartes?” Raphael asked. This was news to him. He hadn’t been informed of the Emperor’s Finest operating on this planet.

“Yes, Raphael,” nodded The Colonel. “I received a transmission yesterday. The Space Marines have made steady progress, but the resistance on that side is even greater than it is over here. Their commander informs me that the Xenos are much more… organized than usual. He has suspected another faction‘s involvement and has ordered us to keep our eyes out for any unusual activities. Did you see anything odd while you were out there, Raphael?”

“No boss,” replied Raphael.

The Colonel looked Raphael in the eye, and raised his stick to eye level. “If you ever call me anything other than Sir or Colonel again, I’ll personally whack you over the head with this stick!”

“Sorry Sir,” Raphael murmured.

Last edited by Bane_of_Kings; 04-18-10 at 08:21 AM.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-16-10, 03:15 PM Thread Starter
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No comments, no nothing after a week? Did I do something wrong or is it perfect?
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-18-10, 07:37 AM
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good writing, i like snipers so good on you

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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-18-10, 08:20 AM Thread Starter
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thanks . Here's chapter two.

Emperor’s Elite
Chapter 2 – Siege


“What do I ask of my officers? Merely that they do their duty with fire in their bellies and a prayer on their lips.” - Ursarkar E. Creed

AT APPROXIMATLY THREE-fifteen in the afternoon, the Imperial Guard of the 115th launched their main assault on the Hive. Raphael advanced forward with his squad, under the cover of the remains of the jungle that used to teem with life, hounded and destroyed by the Artillery and Flame weapons from both sides. The Attack begun with several rounds of Artillery from the 106th regiment, pounding the Ork infested hive, killing several greenskins but not enough to rout the threat. Screams from the other side showed that the Space Marines had not been idle.

“Forward you dogs,” Raphael turned to see a Commissar who he didn’t recognise, leading forward a platoon of Imperial Guard, trying to keep the morale up. Massed lasfire brought several Xenos on the outskirts of the hive down, but more kept coming. Raphael looked behind him just in time to see a rare Ork shot hit its mark, downing one of his squad mates, a man known only as Eagle by his comrades. Raphael doubted that even the Colonel knew his real name. The squad that Raphael led was one of the elite of the 115th, each man specialising in a skill. Raphael was the sniper, and had been called “One of the best,” by his Colonel in the aftermath of the last war. Eagle had been Raphael’s back up. A sniper, but not as good as he was.

“How long do you think this damned battle will last?” called another one of Raphael’s squad, Orpheus, who boasted the flamer of the group.

“Depends how long it takes for the Xenos to fall on the other side!” Raphael yelled back over the noise of the battle. Suddenly, a massive shot tore through the ranks of the Imperial Guard, and out of the main gate roared an armoured tank, supported by several looted Leman Russes, Hellhounds and Chimeras, no doubt captured from the Imperial Guard regiment stationed in the Hive before its downfall. “Tanks!”

“Damn,” cursed Orpheus.

“Well lads,” Raphael admitted. “This’ll be harder than expected.”

Suddenly, a Chimera on the right side of Raphael was ripped to shreds, the blast taking several soldiers with it as well as the unfortunate occupants.

“Where did that come from?” asked Rowan, a giant of a man, standing 6ft tall.

“The Russes?”

“No,” Rowan replied. “They’ve all got their fire on the infantry on our left!”

“Baneblade!” screamed Orpheus, noticing the parting of the Ork looted vehicles, so that a heavily disfigured and changed Baneblade rolled out of the gigantic gates, Ork Boyz rallying behind it. “Holy Throne!”
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-18-10, 10:00 AM
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Nice, I like Sniper Guardsman aswell, although the only one I know of is Larks.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-18-10, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
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Well have another Guardsman. Unfortuantly for Sniper fans, this chapter focuses on the SM on the other side of the Hive, the Golden Angels under command of Captain Enacius. Enjoy

Emperor’s Elite
Chapter 3 – Angels of Death

“A fortress won't stop the Marines. But it may slow them down.” - Proverb

ON THE OTHER side of the Hive, the Space Marines of the Golden Angels Chapter were mounting their armoured assault. Every Squad aside from the Jump-Pack Equipped Assault Marines were mounted in Rhinos, and even the Devastators had some sort of transport, all commanded by Captain Enacius and his command squad, leading from the front in their Razorback, painted gold and black like the armour of the Chapter.

“Fire on my mark,” the Captain radioed to the Whirlwind battery stationed on a hill behind the main Battle Company. “Three...”

The Rhinos surged forward, and in response, so did the Ork horde. “Two...”

The Command Squad inside the Captain’s Razorback loaded their weapons, and Brother Greigor reached for the company standard. “One.”

The Whirlwinds were unleashed, driving several rounds of death into the Xenos line, bringing down several vehicles of the Ork clan. Even from inside the safety of his Razorback, the Captain could hear that the Whirlwinds had found their mark.

“Driver,” Captain Enacius leaned forward to his driver, Brother Othodo. “Let us disembark.”

“With pleasure, sir,” Brother Othodo growled, bringing the Razorback to a steady halt.

“Forward, for the Emperor and for the unknown Primarch!” bellowed Enacius, as the Razorback door slid open and the Marines saw what they had come to kill. Unlike many other Space Marine chapters, the Golden Angels were nearly unique, with the exception of the Blood Ravens chapter. They had no memory of their Primarch, no Idea if they were descended from any first founding matter. Often, the Marines could hear visions of a clouded figure, standing higher than any other man, trapped in chains. Enacius drew his Power Sword and looked behind him to see his Command Squad had made it out. The Razorback’s gunman unleashed five shots towards the Orks who were swarming the vehicle. Three hit their target, and three Orks crumpled to the floor. Captain Enacius plunged his Power Sword into an Ork, blood spraying onto his Power-Armoured chest. Brother Venal let loose two shots from his Plasma Pistol, both finding their mark.

As several Orks were about to surround the Six members of the Command Squad, ten Assault Marines crumpled onto the foe, bringing an end to their life with a Chainsword. Enacius brought down two more Orks with his pistol, and threw his Power sword into another. He then ran towards his sword, unleashing two shots from the pistol at the oncoming Orks.

After The Captain had been reunited with his Power Sword, he delivered another blow into an Ork.

“For the God-Emperor!” The Chaplain attached to his Company, Brother Fernando bellowed, encouraging his brothers to victory. “For The Primarch!”

An Assault Marine on his left flank fell, brought down by overwhelming numbers of the Greenskins. The Captain ran forward, driving his Power Sword through two Orks at a time.

Two Drop Pods slammed into the ground in front of Enacius, disengaging Tactical Squad Oreon and Venerable Brother Raor, a Venerable Dreadnought who ripped apart an Ork Deff Dread which was wrecking havoc in the Space Marine lines. The Dreadnought brought down two more Orks with flame, stepping on one wounded, but not yet dead. Another Ork was crushed inside the Venerable Dreadnought’s close combat weapon, and killed.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-18-10, 10:49 PM
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Ok, I have got a little Pointer for you. You don't always have to say 'Power Sword' or 'Plasma Pistol' if you say it once then the reader will pick up who has what, then you could say sword or blade or pistol, Because it sounds a little repetitive. Also where you said 'Close Combat Weapon' maybe replace it with: "Another Ork was crushed inside Brother Raor's collosal Ceramite fist."

Just a thought, oh and I added Chapter two if you wanted to heck it out ;)
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-19-10, 02:09 AM
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I like it mate. Keep the story coming.
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-19-10, 07:33 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys, and Vali, I'll get around to checking it out.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 04-19-10, 07:50 AM
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No problem glad I could help.
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