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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-12-10, 09:37 PM Thread Starter
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Well here it is, the story about the Scythes Of Faith chapter. Will they survive, or are they doomed? All feed back is wanted!


Chapter I


The whining scream of bolter shells and gauss blasts was all-consuming, a constant presence that drowned out most sound. Virgil Naigok ducked for cover as the pyramid fired a flashing green beam of damnation against his position.

Over the various comm-channels, a hundred different war cries and prayers were repeated again and again, and in the background explosions and plasma shots screamed.

A flurry of bolt shells thundered over his head, hitting the advancing machines before him with little effect. They did always rise up again, no mater what was thrown at them. Virgil fired his bolt pistol at the advancing battle lines and shot one of them down.

That done, he dropped to a crouch behind the ruined wall as the combat squad formed around him, snapping off shots at any target that presented itself and surveying the battle situation. The truth was that the battle was already half lost; they had been ambushed and their heavy armory had been destroyed in the blink of an eye. The situation was not getting any better by the fact that the captain was dead and he was the only survivor of the command squad.

"Have you got the banner?" he asked the sergeant.

"Yes, but it is in bad shape!" the sergeant responded.

Virgil surveyed the battlefield from were he stood and pointed at an bridge a few hundred meters away.

"We should be able to get away over that bridge! Get the wounded away from here with the banner! We will try to buy you some time! Give me your chain sword!"

The sergeant nodded and gave Virgil his chainsword in the exchange for his pistol.

"Now go! Squad, follow me!" Virgil shouted with a roar.

Fury ran hot in his veins– he was going to avenge his fallen brothers and redeem his honor.
One last survey over the field and he rose up from his crouch, his chainswod in the air. He roared as he charged against the foul machines, his brothers following him with a roar. He ran into the first warrior pushing it of its feet and flatening its head with the bottom of his armored boot. His chainsword roared and sparks flew as it bit into the next machines metal body, but the machine did not care about it and hit back. Sidestepping with the strike to avoid the machines blow, a heavy overhead that threw up dust in the air, Virgil drew his knife and pressed it onto the chest of the machine before he crushed the machines head with a decisive blow from his armored gauntlet. Around him machines and brother marines engaged each other in close combat. Some of them were successful, where others were not, and were swiftly killed or flayed alive, but no one of the brother marines flinched.

Not so far away sergeant Loctus led the wounded through the gap in the machine warriors line in the direction to the bridge. Brother Bractas carried the banner in his right hand and his bolter in his left one, firing simultaneously as he went. His brothers gripped their weapons even harder and once again they charged the foul machines to draw their fire away from the ones that making their way to the bridge. There was a flash of green and Virgil flew through the air and fell hard to the ground. One of the pyramids had fired he told himself watching the carnage. Astartes were laying on the ground everywhere and more were added to the number of fallen for every passing moment. They would not last for long, and he knew it. He rose from the ground and picked up a boltgun.

"For the Emperor!" he roared and charged into the fray once again.

Getting to grips with them, he took the first with a cut to the head, splitting it’s skull like a ripe melon as he hosed one more with the last shells of his magazine. Throwing the gun away, he took his blade two-handed and laid about him with heavy blows, opening wounds on whoever ventured near and reducing weapons to worthless lumps.

It began to dawn on him that, for all his fury he wasn’t having much effect on the machines, and as he redoubled his efforts the worm of doubt crept into his mind. He quashed it with a silent prayer.

"Go for the bridge!" he shouted to the few survivors still standing and they quickly disengaged and ran for it.

What is your status sergeant?" he asked over the com-link, beating down another machine simultaneously.

"We got over the bridge and have regrouped with an armored convoy! An Rhino APC is on the way to pick you up. Meet us at the Space Port, we need to report this to the rest of the chapter! Loctus responded over the chatter.

-

When the Rhino arrived it barely slowed for him, leaving him to leap aboard hastily. Gathering himself in the Rhino’s doorway, he glanced around, getting an picture about how many they lost in just a few minutes. They were all badly mauled, but there was nothing he really could do here, as he had lost most of his medical equipment on the battle field. "Calm yourself, the machines wont catch us" the driver told them.
The drivers words had a visible effect, as his brothers settled back into their seats grudgingly, praying for their fallen brothers.

"Only in death does duty end" he told himself, remembering all the fallen.

Last edited by Doelago; 03-13-10 at 09:27 AM.
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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-13-10, 09:11 AM
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good work doelago its very intersting rep+


Check out my warriors of chaos log here
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-13-10, 09:26 AM
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Yeah it is quite good.

No Pity! No Remorse! No Fear!
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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-13-10, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks, guys! Anything I should improve?

[Flerden] 9:05 pm: Why the hell can't he just go offline if he goes to watc tv?
[dark angel] 9:06 pm: It is Doelago, we will never know
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-13-10, 10:19 AM Thread Starter
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Chapter II

The driver handed a data slate over to every survivor siting in the Rhino APC.

"Read this carefully, it contains important information about those machines.

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________
Report of the new threat in Sector Beta-Omega 7-4-1


Chief Investigator: Caraxus Titus
Inscriptor: Flavan
Cartographer: Pastana
Biotechpriest: Optaca
Xenotechpriest: Ectanus
Xenobotany Techpriest: Minucius
Astro Geologist techpriest: Blastlos
TABULA LIBRARIUM: IC91/2405937/DG53-7


Thought of the day: 'Suffer not the alien to live.'

Log Entry {971.M41}



After quick examination on the destroyed parts located in sector Beta-Omega 7-4-1, we have come to the conclusion that the attackers were foul alien machines, known as "Necrons".
Necrons are foul machineries created in the visage of a humanoid skeleton, armored with a metal alloy stronger than everything, but the that of the Tactical Dreadnought armor.

The metal alloy that the Necrons are armour with is extremely durable, yet highly flexible. The plates of armour will become as fluid as skin to allow the Necron movement, but the Necron's internal sensors allow it to sense an incoming shot and harden its armour plates until they become as dense and hard as ceramite.

It also looks like the necrons could "hear, "feel" and "see things". There is also evidence that they could think independently. This makes them extremely dangerous. It is unknown if these machines are related to a alien specie encountered in the Macharius crusade, and what they are doing this far on the galactic rim, for they have never before been encountered in this area fo the galaxy.



Your loyal servant, Chief Investigator Caraxus Titus.
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________

Necrons? Virgil had heard of them before; they had never been encountered here, but they were far more common on the other side of the Eye of Terror.

"From were did we get this information so fast?" Virgil asked.

"It looks like the Xenologists in the sector already knew about this. The driver responded. "But we are not in safety yet! There is a second phalanx of the machines still out there. We will have to get past them to link up with the other survivors. he continued.

Rising up to take the gun again, he glanced over it. Battered, but a squeeze of the trigger proved it was still ready to deal His justice. He opened the ammo cache and took a few mags.

"Arm yourself men, we will encounter them again, but his time we are prepared and they are the ones that are not!

The sensors of the Rhino begun screaming wildly as they advanced.

"Targets at three hundred meters! I will open the top hatch, someone use the main turret! We will have to open our way through! The driver shouted.

Noting the main turret was uncrewed, Virgil hastily took place at it’s controls. He felt familiar at the guns controls, owing to original service as a vehicles gunner, where he had spent a large portion of his service to the Emperor. Habitually checking the ammunition count for the storm bolter, he settled himself in position and took aim.

The gun thundered in front of him, tearing one of the machines to pieces as Virgil opened fire.

A precision burst knocked an other of its feet and blew the head away of the second one. A succession of volleys destroyed still an other of the crude machines. But now the enemies of the Imperium opened fire. The armored hull of the rhino melted on some spots, but none of the green blast managed to penetrate the APC. Virgil took aim on the the next machine, and fired.

A stream of shells ripped an arm away from one of them, then another, and decapitated the machine, before the next volley blew through its chest.

His gun rained fire on them. A sudden change in direction threw her aim off a moment, and she glanced down to ascertain why. Nothing was in their way, but– eh? Something attracted his gaze low down at her right, and he leaned to the edge of the firing pit to locate the oddity.

Then he realised the problem. The left side hatch had been destroyed and the rhino driver had turned 90 degrees to protect the passengers.

The next volley of shells punched several machines from their feet, but even as the Space Marine driver veered the vehicle away, the machines opened fire and scored several hits. But as the Rhino was by far faster than them it got away.

-

Virgil gestured a brother marine over, and he handed a com-link to me

++Marauder flight 91038 to Brother Apothecary Virgil of the Scythes of Faith, requesting confirmation of bombing run and angle of attack++

The message takes Virgil by surprise for a moment, until he process what it means. An Imperial Navy flight of Marauders, assigned to destroy the machines they been escaping..

++Marauder flight 91038 to Apothe-++

++Apothecary Virgil to Marauder flight 91038. Confirm bombing run on parallel angle to the enemy lines. Emperors Grace above all++

++Angle confirmed Apothecary Virgil . Emperors Preservation to His servants++

Last edited by Doelago; 03-14-10 at 09:53 PM.
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-10, 03:27 AM
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I t was a good read. Just watch your view. Right at the end you had third person and first person, and he turned into a "she".

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Originally Posted by aegius View Post
As for adding weathering, didn't you know that marines never get dirty, they are too cool.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-10, 07:23 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for pointing those things out Chaosrider! + rep. Anyone else who can find errors?

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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-14-10, 08:52 PM
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No problem Doelago.

Quote:
Originally Posted by aegius View Post
As for adding weathering, didn't you know that marines never get dirty, they are too cool.
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-17-10, 08:09 PM
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nice start Doel. the only complaint i have is in Part 1, the Chain sword engagement. you used the word "roared" a little too often, "whined" would be a good sub for when the sword grinds against the necrons armor.

nice start

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if you squint the Sigmar stuff doesn't all look like the love children from a Necron and Blood Angel orgy.
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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 03-17-10, 09:03 PM Thread Starter
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Well good point, but in my opinion the Chainsword roars when it hits the very hard armor of the Necrons, but thanks anyway

Does anyone else have a opinion about this?

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Last edited by Doelago; 03-17-10 at 09:08 PM.
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