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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-10-10, 08:39 PM Thread Starter
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Default Unleashing daemons upon a world

On the Hive world of Kabore IV
Former Heretic Gaspacian Dereb was being released from jail. He’d renounced his faith in the Emperor many years ago and had been arrested for affiliation to a chaos cult. He had argued his case in civil court and had instead been sentenced to five years of re-indoctrination. During this time, he had realized the folly of his renouncing his faith. He had realized that the Emperor would accept him back into the fold of his flock and would forgive him his sins.

He advanced through the triage station, it looked exactly the same that it had five years ago. He walked up to the jailor, a certain Mr. North as he was known. He was sitting behind a great desk that was slightly higher than Gaspacian was tall, it covered everything so all one could see was the jailor’s face. As he approached, the guard looked up from his crossword and looked at Gaspacian
“Finally the big day eh Gaspacian? How are you feeling?”
“I’m looking forward to starting my life anew sir, it’s going to be good to see my family again”
“Ah, that it will, scared at all of re-integration?”
“I don’t think so, the councilor told me I would be able to find aid if I ever needed it at a temple or a church, I was also told that confessing my sins to the preachers would help my soul a great lot”
“Don’t bother going” answered the guard with a malevolent grim. “It’s not like the preacher will care about what you have to say”
“But I think going will help me spiritually a great deal because ... wait, what was that”
“The preacher won’t care Gaspacian, because there are none left on this world, it has been abandoned by the corpse-god you know”. The blood in Gaspacian’s blood turned to rivers of ice.
“How could you be telling me these things? Are you not loyal to the Emperor?” Mr. North got up from his desk. It’s only then that he noticed that this man was significantly taller than the desk, and he flashed a smile that showed all of his razor sharp teeth.
“I tell you these Gaspacian for you a favoured of the Chaos Gods. You are the last of a lineage chosen to allow the warp to overflow on this planet. You should consider yourself lucky for the attention you have received from the Gods, few individuals get so lucky”. Gaspacian was stuck in place, unable to move, he had noticed that the face he had been looking at was in fact a mask of skin stretched over the face of the man that had masqueraded as Mr. North.
“Who are you” asked the stunned man.
“I am the herald of the Gods, a lowly servant assigned with the holy task of murdering you and drinking your blood, transforming my body into an entry way for the daemons of the warp to enter this world. I look forward to it” said the man.

Less than an hour later, a foul ritual was performed a scant few meters from what would have been a new life for Gaspacian. His lifeless eyes were still open, while his head was barely attached to the remainder of his corpse. Had he known the horrors that were about to be unleashed upon the unsuspecting world, he would have thanked the God-Emperor again and again for his salvation. Hell was coming to Kabore and little would be able to stop it.

Well, this is a little part of a story I'm currently writing. So advice, feedback and everything would be awesome. Thank you
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 03-12-10, 09:34 AM
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I'm liking it... Fluff wise he was dead before he was arrested. If heresy is involved you don't even think about who you are shooting at in the Imperium. But +rep

Originally Posted by aegius View Post
As for adding weathering, didn't you know that marines never get dirty, they are too cool.
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