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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-12-10, 12:05 AM Thread Starter
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Default Bringers of Doom, Guards of Anarchy

This is my first fanfic in a couple of years so please let me know how im doing. I apologies in advance for the spelling and grammer mistakes that may have sliped in.

++NOTE++
The Doom Bringers are a DIY chapter that ive never got round to writing about or bringing to the table. They spent the early centuries of their history with the Mechanicus and as a result they are fully intergrated into the cult of Omnissiah with every brother holding a dule rank within the cult as well as within the chapter.

(As a heads up, red text is reserved for moderator comments -CP )
Chapter I: Decent of the angel of death

The Boarding ramp descended, hydraulic gasses venting from the large pistons that controlled the adimantium bulkhead. Before the descending ramp stood two figures one was a tall, lanky man; whose long silver hair, though unwashed and littered with mud and dust, was pulled back in a ponytail. His once lavish clothing was mudded and torn, screwed up beneath his carapace armour, under one arm he held a now heavily pitted and scorched white helmet which once sported a magnificent crest of horse hair; his other hand rested on the hilt of a gold and pearl inlayed handle of a power sabre. Despite his advanced years his face seemed unnaturally aged by stress and battle, his left eye replaced by three lenses that protruded from a bionic implant hard wired into the socket.

To his right stood a hunch figure swathed in crimson robes that seemed to seethe and squirm on its own. The only feature that were decidable of the figure was the insect like bionic face that glared from under his cowl, its multi-lensed eyes seemed like pits of night even within the shadow of the hood. An equally mechanical hand clasped a great double-headed, cog-toothed axe that trailed several throbbing wires that disappeared beneath the crimson shroud.

The thunderhawks twin engines whined and kicked up the dust that coated the manufactum hanger. The massive hanger once held the greatest engines of war known to man, scores of leman russes, legions or sentinels, even mighty bandeblades had graced this hanger after leaving the assembly lines deeper inside the complex. Now though its roof rent and rendered into a steel maw that seemed to roar to the heavens, its once mighty content thrown into the fires of war. But now the most powerful weapons in the imperial arsenal now graced its walls.

The foundations rumbled and shook at the bark of eight earthshaker cannons spitting death at the mighty walls of the city that rested on the other side of the fast flowing straights that formed a natural defence for the machanicus manufactrum. At their command the walls of the colossal factory whined in fear.

With the clang of metal on metal a score of Space marines proceeded in file, then the formation changed and with almost mechanical precision they formed three lines of five evenly spaced apart and forming a crescent. Before them at the centre stood five more battle brother escorting an elaborate banner. Ahead still stood a lone marine his armour more ornate than the others, a crimson cape bearing a cog- tooth pattern embodied in pure silver removed his helmet.

“Magnosss-captain Vilkerk it izz an honour” droned the artificial voice from below the crimson robes “most dire is the situation, my the great machine spirit deliver us.” The marine bowed “By Omnissiah deliver us” intoned every marine. Governor Voral merely stood opened mouthed enthralled by the obsidian black armored figure before him. Vilkerk cocked his shaven head to one side; his deep brown eyes coldly gauged the man before him. “I am Magnos- captain Vilkerk and I bring aid from the Doom Bringer chapter” Vilkerk finally said to end the silence that had fallen over those assembled in the hanger. Voral gathered himself just in time for Vilkerk and magnos Oberon to head for the main entrance, leaving Voral standing dumbfounded before the ranks of unmoving marines.

“I will take command of the defences then my men shall begin the attack. Have all regimental commanders and governing staff meet me to receive their new assignments within the hour,” Vilkerk ordered Oberon. “ I will also need tactical data of both our own and the enemies deployment along with data on their forces and previous engagements” Oberon bowed then summoned a servertor over, the mechanical zombie lurched forward its skull punctuated by uncountable wires, its left arm was replaced by a small hollow projector and its back had a vox pack hardwired to the nervous system to maintain the constant stream of information to the commanders. “Thisss will show you to the command chamber magnos” Oberon droned before taking one of the side corridors.

I'll post the next chapter soon


Last edited by Commissar Ploss; 02-12-10 at 07:55 AM. Reason: changed text color of "++NOTE++" section.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-12-10, 07:47 AM
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Looking good so far mate, especially for not writing in a few years. I like teh description of the robed tech. Reminded me of Salazars bodyguards from resident evil 4

keep it up

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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 02-12-10, 05:25 PM
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Pretty awesome for the first time in years. I look forward to the next segment, also, you may have some rep.

Nyctophobia- Fear of the Dark Angel.

"No one ever spoke about of those two absent brothers. Their separate tragedies had seemed like aberrations. Had they, in fact, been warnings that no one had heeded?"

'Killing a man is like fucking, boy, only instead of giving life you take it. You experience the ecstasy of penetration as your warhead enters the enemy's belly and the shaft follows. You see the whites of his eyes roll inside the sockets of his helmet. You feel his knees give way beneath him and the weight of his faltering flesh draw down the point of your spear. Are you picturing this?'
'Yes, lord.'
'Is your dick hard yet?'
'No, lord.'
''What? You've got your spear in a man's guts and your dog isn't stiff? What are you, a woman?'
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