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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-25-09, 10:45 AM Thread Starter
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just a short story i wrote last night.
its from the perspective of a non-imperium human world. possibly lost in pre-heresy, didnt really give much thought to it.

The building’s outer wall ripped out towards Ray, spraying him with chunks of plaster and rubble.
The panicked cry through the whole squad into chaos. Tracer rounds flicked out of the dust thrown up by the breach, slamming men to the floor all around him.
He heard the sergeant call out to him
“Ray! Get on the wide net . We need support”
The netman ran hunched over towards a low wall and slid in to its protection on his side.
He grabbed the mike of his netpack

“Sachel 2-4 to Frontal sky Command, over”
“Sachel 2-4 we read you, over”
“Sachel 2-4 requests anti-plate munitions on grid reference…Dover 3-4-5 Sachel-5-7-6. Eyes on a Reaper, over”
“Acknowledged Sachel 2-4, we have a Sol Gunboat on station. Will require a laze on the target, over”
“Copy that Command, sachel 2-4 out”

Ray dropped the mike to his side and replaced it with his rifle. The dust had clear by now revealing the reaper in all its terrifying glory. The machine stood towering above a man although a man in shape. The multi-barrelled weapon attached to its right limb was spinning at blinding speed, spitting out a hail of high calibre rounds. While the other swung about it, smashing through another wall to grip an alliance soldier in its fingers before crushing him with a whim. Blood splattered across the already deep red fist portrayed on the machines shoulder as a under slung grenade launcher on the fist spat more death in to the hole.

The drone of sky craft engines snapped Ray out of his daze. He fumbled with the switch on his laser designator. His pack sparked into life again

“Sachel 2-4, this is Hammer 3-0 we are on station and in a holding pattern, requesting laze on the target and a friendly beacon, over”
“Hammer 3-0,sachel 2-4 has all received. Stand by”

Pressing another button on the side of his netpack, relaying a beacon that would be picked up by the gunboats targeting computer, ray aimed the designator at the Reaper. Leaving a small red dot on its flank.

“Hammer 3-0, this is sachel 2-4. the target is painted. Bring the rain, over”

Ray heard the roar of the hypersonic gunboat as it accelerated over the target

“Hotrod deployed, returning to holding pattern, over”

The Anti-plate missile soared down the street at over 300mph slamming into the reaper, ripping it apart with devastating force. Scattering pieces of its plate all over the district.

“Sachel 2-4 to hammer. Confirmed kill, nice shooting over”
“this is hammer 3-0, confirmed, returning to base. Out”

3rd platoon slowly emerged from the ruins around the downed reaper. They started to cheer, even the Sarge risked a grin. Private Kullen even got on top of the battered shell of the reaper, posing as if he had killed the beast himself. Ray was still cheering right up until the moment his netpack started to talk again.

“Sachel 2-4, respond Sachel 2-4”
“This is sachel 2-4, situation resolved, over”
“this is Frontal Sky Command , you have an unknown approaching fast from directly above you. Its descent is slowing be it is still coming in fast, over”
“sergeant, over here sir”
He broke away from the oblivious men and took the offered netpack mike
“this is sachel 2-4 CO, go ahead over………what, above us?……well god damn ID it then….”

Ray slowly looked up at the rapidly growing red lights above the city but one bigger than the others was heading straight at him. By the time he realised this he only just had time to call out

“take cover !”

Before the ground split sending him flying back against a pillar and he blacked out.

Ray was dimly aware of the sound and sight returning to him. the street was in flames and a large metallic object was sitting in a crater right where his platoon had been celebrating, mangle corpses were all that remained. he could feel the blood running from his sever head wound and one of his legs was bend at a unnatural angle. Ray rolled over on his front and started to crawl away from the devastation.
He made it twenty yards before heavy footsteps cause him to rolled back over to gaze at the crater.
Fear ripped through his broken body. Large panels on the object had folded down and close to a dozen heavily plated aliens had emerged they looked human but in iron shells and they towered seven or eight foot tall. One started to advance on him fixing the stare of the almost face like helmet on him. It stopped short of him, raising a large object its hand which he realised must be a weapon. Rays vision started to fade, the blood loss was starting to take effect. But just then he saw movement behind the invader.


The sergeant yelled at the top of his voice as he charged alien. He swung his eight inch bayonet in his right hand, thrusting it at the breastplate. The blade slid across the plate, not even scratching it. The enemy responded by backhanding the sergeant with its crimson fist, breaking bone and sending the soldier to the floor . Ray was fading fast and he only saw the alien turn from him to face the other sprawling human as darkness once again took him.

A blinding pain ripped him back to his senses. The armoured boot pressed harder onto his chest and he felt bone break. He cried out in pain as the space marine lowered his bolter and said as a battle cry

“We will bring this world into the emperors light. For the Emperor!”

The muzzle flashed and the last of 3rd platoon was extinguished

black Templars Utopa Crusade of about 12000pts
for when you gota shoop da whoop

Last edited by DAvo001; 11-25-09 at 09:20 PM.
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-27-09, 05:30 AM
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interesting take-over story! i like it a lot, i'd like to hear more, perhaps back story for these characters? hint hint!

very good!


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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-27-09, 06:08 AM
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Amazing comeback... It's been a while... Rep!..
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-27-09, 10:41 PM Thread Starter
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thanks guys. i was thinking of expanding it out into a full story. but it all depends on if i get the time. but the comments are appreciated

black Templars Utopa Crusade of about 12000pts
for when you gota shoop da whoop
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-28-09, 02:04 AM
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i realy liked it
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-08-09, 09:22 PM
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pretty good hutch
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-15-09, 11:23 PM Thread Starter
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i thought the idea for a back story was pretty good so i decided to go with it
it is quite short but then again i wrote it tonight while i was bord
please comment

chapter 2

9 months earlier

“Git in line! You worthless pack of shit stains!”

The six foot Drill Sergeant roared through the dust storm kicked up by the Alliance Sky Craft.
The twin engine transport had its thrusters angled down from making its vertical landing, the two multi-barrelled Shogun Cannons silently watchful over the twelve recruits as they carried their gear on to the drill square.

“Ma-ove it, move it, move it!”

The dozen fresh, untrained men rushed to stand shoulder to shoulder at attention.
Their arms pinned to their sides, their feet only 2 inches apart, their attention focused on the space in front of them.

“So” he let the word hang for a few moments “it is to be my displeasure to kick you bastards into some sort of respectable shape for the Alliance Marine Peacekeepers”

He slowly looked up and down the line of blank, emotionless faces before resting on one

Joestef suddenly found the clean shaven, stern face of the Drill Sergeant an inches from his own

“So you think you good enough for the Marines you cocky son of a bitch, well, its my job to prove you wrong. If I’ve earned my pay, I won’t have to look at you for more than a month”

Joestef forced himself to ignore the spit specking his face and tried to concentrate on the mess hall across the yard.

The sergeant moved on

“But, until then we might as well get you settled in.”

A second soldier to the right hand side of the Drill Sergeant took this as his cue and stepped forward

“This is Corporal Jenkins, he will show you to your bunks. Get a early night ladies. We start at oh six hundred sharp”

black Templars Utopa Crusade of about 12000pts
for when you gota shoop da whoop

Last edited by DAvo001; 12-15-09 at 11:28 PM.
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