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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-09, 01:43 AM Thread Starter
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Default Psychic Trails

Its been a loooong time since I've submitted something in this section.

Not really sure where this came from, but I just typed it out. Been really itching to write some Farseer action and this is what I mused up. Hope you enjoy!



Reality blurred and shifted as the intense, mind searing energies of the warp were channelled into this dimension.
Incandescent wards and sigils floated lazily through the air, hundreds of different shapes and designs drifted hypnotically in their ghostly ballet. The glowing silhouettes, gossamer projections of quietly contained power, slowly condensed and began to flow around a robed individual. The figure held a long staff in his hand, using its familiar and powerful force to steady his soul as well as his body. The staff was black, across its surface ran an intricate weave of shining silver, flowing like liquid spirit under the ward-lights. At the head of the staff, grasped in the delicate hold of the silver web was a glorious crystal, sparkling and glittering with the most minute of movements. Inside the crystal was a perfect sphere of glowing blue light.

The figures body was clad in a substance that bore an uncanny resemblance to the staff. A subtle plating of black patterned with the same elegant and beautifully detailed network of sinuous silver. Over this were thin exo ridges of the purest white, the pearly brilliance casting a dazzling sheen in the radiance. On its head sat a sweeping helmet of similar design, stunning in its artistry, a regal and noble feel palpable. Rich, crimson rubies studded the entire suit, drawing the eyes then trapping them in their swirling depths. Completing the outfit was a cloak of the richest purple, flowing over a robe that met at his waist and covered his legs; burning white sigils glowed along its surface.

Farseer Valeorus Stepped forward, the wards tightened their orbit. He wore power as he did his sweeping mantle, each step decisive and sure, an air of authority flowed around him. He moved through the broken ruins alone, the sunlight mixed with glowing symbols casting a multitude of shadows from the fallen pillars. This had been the site of recent battle, monomolecular shurikans could be seen embedded into the stone, shining brightly when shown the kiss of light, only to be left dull and dead as it leaves, almost crying out for attention, to be recovered and used once more in glorious battle. Scorch marks and other, more sinister smears left their death-stain upon this ruin.

Over the stench of battle and the coppery wash of blood, the sweet scent of flowers and grass filtered through his helm, playing up in his enhanced senses. The calming and soothing over-scent did little to hide the horrors that had been enacted here. Despite the light breeze, it was totally silent, devoid of sentient life.

Valeorus ran his gloved hand gently along the stonework wall, his psychic mind picking up flashes of intense fear and panic, the raw emotions burnt into the landscape. It left a bitter, familiar taste in his mouth. He breathed in gently and drew deep into his mind; he tapped into the burning Sun that was his Psychic energy, magnificent power concealed within his graceful and elegant form. He weaved the energies of the empyrean as he channelled the force required, and pushed his vision out.

He saw the emotional imprint upon the ruin. The raw mind radiation left behind after confrontation. This colourful scene was far more turbulent than the world he had left; swirling eddies of energy washed around the stones and ran into pools of glowing feeling.

This place Stank, tasted, howled, grated and burnt like death. Pain was scoured deep here, adrenaline and fear mixed into a foul cocktail for his senses to sample. He could feel lost souls soiling the ground, left to fester before some denizen of the warp claimed them, maybe even their God. A raging wind wailed above, he felt the icy touch of the warp wash past him, though his robes did not ruffle. There was something else, something under the confusion and loss of life. Something much more sinister ran through here, he repressed a shiver and didn’t want to believe what the strands of the future had told him.

There was something here, the Great Enemy.





This is just the first part. But I wrote all of that without stopping, I know where I want this little piece to go but I didn't want to force it, so I'm having a little rest :p Next part will be up tomorrow.

EDIT: Part 2 Is posted below!

EDIT EDIT: Part 3 is just over the page!


Last edited by Concrete Hero; 11-09-09 at 02:40 PM.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-09, 03:49 AM
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I like it. An intense and colorful mental picture.

Do be careful with repetition though. There were a couple spots where redundancy threw the narrative out of stride.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Concrete Hero View Post
...grasped in the delicate grasp of the silver web...
This does tend to happen more when a story comes out all in one piece so I wouldn't be too concerned.

As I said, mucho gusto. I'll be looking for the next installment.


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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-09, 12:37 PM Thread Starter
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That really is my Achilles heel, thanks for pointing it out *quickly edits away*

And glad you enjoyed it

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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-09, 04:37 PM
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Good start so far!

There are a few places that would become cleaner/more powerful with the addition of a bit more detail or the alteration of some word choices, but overall it is a great base to start from!
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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-22-09, 05:40 PM
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I like it. Really like the regal feel of the Farseer, very nice description.

My only comment is again on some of the repetition, particularly shinning

Other than than a wicked bit of description man

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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-23-09, 02:25 AM Thread Starter
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Here you go, it was 1:43am yesterday when I posted the first part, so I was right when I said the next part would be here tomorrow! Originally I was going to conclude the story with part two. But I want to make something of the last part, and you can all do with a bit of suspense Hope you enjoy it!




Valeorus dropped back down into the normal aspect of the world, the colours and the howling winds washing away as quickly as they had appeared, though the aftertaste lingered. Despite the serene atmosphere of the environment, the mark of battle was deep and may remain forever.

He’d followed his Psy sense to a stone entrance of the ruin, an eroded mouth breaking from the ground to lead into the darkness of the throat below. Instinctively he moved his influence over the stone, caressing and searching with the most delicate of touches. He almost recoiled as he brushed against something most foul; a deep hunger, insatiable and threatening to consume him and the entire universe in an instant. He closed off his probing mind and moved silently into the descending staircase, his footfalls not disturbing a pebble as he walked with eerie grace.

The gliding wards cast a cold ghost light over the stone walls, before long the steps began to spiral in their fall. He briefly thought about how the coming task might fare different had he brought companions; No, none of his people deserved to be asked to do what he needed to do, should they fall... Valeorus tilted his head down slightly in anguish; the result didn’t bear thinking about.

Time became meaningless; he could have been walking for hours, minutes. He’d spent months in preparation for this, ever since he’d first caught a glimpse of this strand of fate, this pathway of the future, he was as ready as he could ever be. Almost subconsciously he began testing his surroundings with his mind, probing and tasting the area. The tang of war had slipped away, merely a familiar smell at this depth. Though that which was replacing it was far more twisted, pure anguish emanated from below shadowed by a sick and perverse pleasure; an outside source elating greatly in the suffering. The very earth beneath him was trying to twist itself free from the sick abomination on reality.

His mental barriers flashed up as a deep, booming laughter echoed up the stairs, whether in his mind, or through his ears, he could not tell. The laughter seemed to resonate back along itself, overlapping again and again and picking up pitch until a thousand mocking cackles screeched from the walls. The numbing note of perverse pleasure throbbed through the stonework once more; Valeorus fought away a shudder of disgust and forced away the sardonic hysterics until eventually they died into nothing more than a whispery remainder. Though more than once he thought he could sense a slight snicker, so quiet he had to question whether or not it was his imagination.

The feeling of utter wrongness became so strong he didn’t need to extend any psychic influence; it welled up in his stomach in a repulsive affront to nature. He could feel... Desires. Not his own, but outside his mind, trying to force their way in. Lust, hunger, spurts of euphoria and even grating stings of pain. A lesser mind would have caved under the pressure, succumbing to every external whim and losing its sanity in the process. The Farseer tapped into his own energy reserves and pushed away the tainted influence, freeing his thoughts from the depraved chatter.

The stairway eventually ended, rather abruptly, leading straight to a huge set of wooden doors; ancient, though the waft of oak was still on them. The metal handles of the doors twisted and writhed as Valeorus approached, shivering ecstatically in anticipation, they curled themselves into the pronged circle symbol of the Prince of Excess before snaking away to dance across the wood. The Farseer tilted his staff forward, blowing the doors from their hinges with enough force to shatter steel. The metal buckles shrieked as they were torn asunder and the timber exploded into a shower of splinters. Though before they could hit the ground they slowed and froze in the air, trapped in some gravity defying stasis. Valeorus brushed his way past the fragments, causing them to spin before slowing to a halt once more. He was assaulted by another wash of emotions and chattering laughter, though they fell deadly silent before he could make his own effort to remove them.

A ripple of warp force blasted from the centre of the dark, cold room. The Psyker shielded himself with the staff from the roiling energy. Along the walls the stone twisted and distorted under the power, the splinters behind him each exploded in a flash of colour. Faintly at first, but quickly gaining in intensity, a peculiar shimmering circle burned from the floor, black lighting crackled from its surface to scour the walls and floor, carving deep molten scars along the stone. The dark energy lashed out towards the Farseer, but was denied the sweet prize of his body by a radiant dome of light. A handful of the orbiting wards shrivelled under the attack, desiccating and fallen to the floor in dark husks before fading from sight.

Valeorus grasped his staff in both hands as the circle began to fall away into the floor, coruscating power beginning to crackle along its length. His mind took on a strange blanket of calm as he prepared to face this atrocity, the very anathema of their entire race.

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-23-09, 02:35 AM
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:D very good. Had me hooked all the way through.


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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-23-09, 02:42 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the comments guys Its really encouraging.

Part Three tomorrow!

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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-23-09, 05:55 AM
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quality shit mate! quality shit! I can't tell you enough how enthralled i was! waiting impatiently for the next piece!

CP

The Founding Fields

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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 10-24-09, 01:36 AM
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Nice work dude i am really looking forward to the next part of the story, even though i don't really like eldar
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