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post #1 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-02-15, 02:51 PM Thread Starter
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Default Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 15-07: Confusion Voting





Congratulations to all of you who participated in this month's competition and making it a success! Thank you all as well, for helping to add colour to the already exceptional fanfic forum here on Heresy. Hopefully in the following months, we can continue to build up interest and maybe bring some more fresh blood to HO's fanfic forums.

Voting works as such:
Each reader (not just writers) can cast three votes, ranking them 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or brief reviews on the stories as well, since each of the writers worked hard to get their entries up.

Scoring works like this:
1st place: 3 pts
2nd place: 2 pts
3rd place: 1 pt

When you vote, ensure that you vote in the following format:
1st Place: Author, Name of Story, 3 pts
and so on.

Unfortunately, to prevent any possible dramas, you cannot vote for your own story. If there are fewer than four entries, you do not have to cast all three votes.

Additionally, if you wrote a story, you must vote! As the competition grows, I think it is necessary to point this out. If you enter but do not vote, any votes for your story(ies) will not be counted.

By the end of the voting period, all votes will be tallied and a winner declared.

Once this winner is declared, the winning story will be placed into the Winning HOES thread which has been stickied in this forum. The winning writer will be awarded the Lexicanum's Crest (seen above!) forum award for fiction excellence during the quarterly Awards.

Just to emphasize again, you do not need to have written a story to cast your votes! The more people that cast their votes, the better!

The deadline for voting will be midnight GMT 9 August 2015. At that time this thread will be completed, and the winner declared.

The rewards for entering/winning are:
Participation - 1 reputation point
3rd Place - 2 reputation points
2nd Place - 3 reputation points
1st Place - 4 reputation points

Here are the entries from HOES 15-07:

Table of Contents

Myen'Tal - Realm Bound

Brother Emund - What you don't see won't harm you

Treesniffer - Confusion at the End of the World

Adrian - Alive and Feeling Good!

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post #2 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-02-15, 10:40 PM
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Adrian, Alive and Feeling Good!, 3pts
Brother Edmund, what you don't see won't hurt you, 2pts
Treesnifer, Confusion at the end of the Wirld, 1pts

Treesnifer, I really like the idea you were trying for, but I think you had just a little too much going on. The beginning sounds like a full military retreat through a magical thunderstorm, where everyone is trying to make it to a distant portal mirage on the other side. Actually, it reminds me of certain scenes in Glen Cook's Black Company. I think the story could have been very different in a fantasy setting. Still, I enjoyed it .

Brother Edmund, once again, you produce a solid and intriguing story. I didn't expect the inquisition at the end, this time ;). Quite a ploy to prove someone's guilt. But who am I to question the ways of the Inquisition.

Adrian, I contemplated on your story again to see how it stacked up against the competition. The past few times you have entered, I have voted you as my first choice. There is just something in the way you write. Within a thousand words, I feel a strong bond with your characters. I am concerned about their fate, their achievements, and their woes that are often tied to the theme of your works. I think you did it again this time, cause I'm voting you first. ;)

Good stories from everyone, hope to see you guys in next month's contest .

“Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger.”
-Glen Cook, The Black Company


Tales of Heroism and Bravery, in the 41st Millennium and the Old World. Perhaps some Realm Gate Wars in the future .

Gods' Hall (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=161618

The New Word (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=121879

Last edited by Myen'Tal; 09-02-15 at 10:45 PM.
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post #3 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-03-15, 07:27 AM
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Adrian, Alive and Feeling Good!, 3pts
Myen'Tal, Realm Bound, 2pts
Treesnifer, Confusion at the end of the World, 1pt

Adrian... I had this vision from the film 'Alien'! Good read.
Myen'Tal... Confusion down to the letter! Although I do not know much about the Eldar and its (xenos) ways, this was enjoyable.
Treesnifer... Gutty, down-to-earth stuff.. good!



.

"Death occurs when a lethal projectile comes together in time and space with a suitable target, in the absence of appropriate armour or protection”


Check out my 40K 'Epic' about the Hunted verses the Inquisition: https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...98#post2184698

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post #4 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-03-15, 10:43 PM
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Default My votes

Myen'Tal - Realm Bound - 1st place - 3 points. You did a great job this time sticking to the theme and drawing out the story. I enjoyed this story a lot; the transformation and connection and the confusion. Well written as well. If an Eldar story is done right it is fun and this story was fun. Also thank you for the kind words. I have fun writeing. I wasn't on for a long time because of a deep depression I was in.


Brother Emund - What you don't see won't harm you - 2nd place. 2 points. I had a good time reading this. The superiority complax of the govenor was well shown. His confusion at the end was awesome. A very well written story.

Treesniffer - Confusion at the End of the World 3rd place. 1 point. This story had a lot in it that I wish could have been more drawn out. This is one of the times I wish there was a higher word count for the contest. I like the idea of an alternate universe spin. I have seen a few Dan Abnett books with a little bit of a twist in The Horus Heresy books he has done, so I know there is room for it in this setting. There was a lot of confusion for sure, I just think the sequinces needed better set ups. Hard to do sometimes with word constraints.

I'm writing from a Holiday Inn computer without spell check. I'm suposed to be smarter for working here. Without spell check I do not feel smarter. lol

We move slowly through the shrouds of fog sending pestilence before us. There is no hope! We are the Death Guard. Fear us for we are coming for you!

Last edited by Ambush Beast; 09-03-15 at 10:49 PM.
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post #5 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-07-15, 12:59 AM
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Default My Scorecard

1st - Brother Emund - What You Don't See Will Harm You - 3 pts

2nd - Adrian - Alive and feeling good! - 2 pts

3rd - Myen'Tal - Realm Bound - 1 pt


What You Don't See - This was a fun ride with a sweet twist at the end. Nice and solid too. If anything, on a reread, I'd change the introduction of Kathrine to 'a woman', rather than 'a female'. Female is more of an adjective than noun. Unless Kathrine is a tall Eldar female or tall female Orc.

Alive and Feeling Good! - Why can't I write like this?

Realm Bound - I sometimes think you suffer the same curse as I, the need of a larger canvas, Myen. I really, really liked the fall through the afterlife's, and if you only had the space to stretch out, you could make such a statement - sort of like the movie "What Dreams May Come". I'll admit, I was as confused as Erathion. Doom. Doom! The doom of 1,000 words!

The Book of Grudges will know their name.

The Worlds of J.D. Barbera
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post #6 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-07-15, 02:33 AM
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@Treesnifer , yeah, short stories have never been for my forte, unfortunately. The H.O.E.S. competition gives me plenty of practice to sharpen my skills though :D.

If you aren't familiar with the new age of sigmar lore, than yeah, the story would appear confusing. Perhaps writing about age of sigmar is too soon, because not enough people have digested the lore yet.

“Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger.”
-Glen Cook, The Black Company


Tales of Heroism and Bravery, in the 41st Millennium and the Old World. Perhaps some Realm Gate Wars in the future .

Gods' Hall (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=161618

The New Word (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=121879

Last edited by Myen'Tal; 09-07-15 at 04:16 AM.
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post #7 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-07-15, 12:16 PM
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I really do enjoy this competition. And having you guys to go up against is not easy, but of much worth. I always have to think outside the circle so I can even compete.

Also... where are my rep points for winning the last 3 months? Come on man!!!! Wine cry poor me! lol

We move slowly through the shrouds of fog sending pestilence before us. There is no hope! We are the Death Guard. Fear us for we are coming for you!
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post #8 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-07-15, 10:40 PM
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Haha, I'm missing a few rep points myself, so you aren't alone in that regard, Adrian .

“Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger.”
-Glen Cook, The Black Company


Tales of Heroism and Bravery, in the 41st Millennium and the Old World. Perhaps some Realm Gate Wars in the future .

Gods' Hall (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=161618

The New Word (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=121879
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post #9 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-08-15, 07:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Myen'Tal View Post
Haha, I'm missing a few rep points myself, so you aren't alone in that regard, Adrian .
Sticks head above the parapet... ME TOO!!

.

"Death occurs when a lethal projectile comes together in time and space with a suitable target, in the absence of appropriate armour or protection”


Check out my 40K 'Epic' about the Hunted verses the Inquisition: https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...98#post2184698

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post #10 of 13 (permalink) Old 09-08-15, 02:25 PM Thread Starter
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Since the last upgrade, Mods can only +1 Rep, so I can't do the whole award myself. There is an outstanding Rep awards thread so other people know what needs doing, but sometimes it takes a while to get caught up.
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