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post #1 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-17-15, 04:58 AM Thread Starter
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Default 40k "The Hyperion Rebelion: Episode 1"

Well guys, here is my first attempt at writing fiction in a long time. I wouldn't be surprised if you think it is rubbish, but I figured I'd figured it was best to put it out and let people knock my teeth in for it. I hope it's good enough to enjoy.

Hyperion is a planet on the eastern fringe of the Halo stars, it marks the border between the Halo stars and the Ghoul stars. Quite a quandry that has baffled the Adeptus Astronomica for a millinium is that Hyperion is surrounded by five different color stars: white, black, red, green, blue. The question of whether Hyperion orbits the stars or whether the stars orbit Hyperion is a difficult question to answer; as Hyperion seems to weive its way through the stars, being traded from one star to the next.

Given Hyperion's chaotic relationship with its parent stars, it is no suprise that the Adeptus Astronomica classified Hyperion as a deathworld. Even as valcanic as the Salamanders Space Marine chapter's home world Vulcan is, the Salamanders tread on Hyperion with caution. The gravity shifts on Hyperion are unpredictable, mountains seem to form and lift into the sky and fall back into the molten heart of the planet overnight. Life seems unsustainable in such a damnable place, one can only wonder if the blasphemous to the deus mechanicus, the Necrons could exist is this wasteland. Everything on this planet is metal, even the flora and fauna, from the deadly Rust Fly to the deceptivily beautiful Ferrodonna flower.

To say Hyperion has mineral deposits is to say a black hole is a little heavy. If one were to say that there is iron in the atmosphere, one wouldn't be too far off. This and the danger makes the price being paid for labor very alluring to citizens of the Imperium. This relationship with the Imperium was shaken in the year 023.M42 when Hyperion was visited by some strange blue people who claimed to be from some stange world they called T'au.

"No, I won't let this drop, these councils have become pointless. The shipment of food stores have become more and more delayed and still you, Lord Governor, have yet to contact our lifeline Agrigah to find any information on the matter."

"Senator Addrostia, I do not feel compelled to contact the Governor of Agrigah on such an imputant matter. There are a million things that could have happened to that space hulk in the 79 light-years."

"Mommy, I'm hungry!"

"OK, sweetie"

The TV is put on mute as a woman gets up from the chair, walking past the Ironbark wall panelling into a kitchen, pulling a copper pot from a cabnet and filling it with just enough water to line the bottom of the pot and putting it onto a burner. The child grabbed ahold of the woman, placing her head to the woman hip in a embrace. The woman turns to return the embrace.

"It's been years since anyone could be a friend, it's the fear that kills the feeling in the end, can we face it, can we shape it, can we really die. If rain is what you want, all you have to do is close your eyes." sung the woman as a lullaby.

"Can I have two spoons of grits mommy?"

"well, it is your birthday, i guess you can."

"I wish I could have two spoons everyday!"

"Don't get too full of yourself, we need to make this last.", she laughed.

Placing the bowl on the table and filling cup a quarter of the way, the woman looked at it perplexed.

"I do not know why people made such big cups and bowls?"
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post #2 of 2 (permalink) Old 06-17-15, 08:50 PM
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Hey Brodingman, just finished reading your work and I'll say that's it is definitely not bad for your first return to writing. I will suggest that you indicate changes in scenes with marking or something, like *** or ~***~ something like that. You were explaining Hyperion's background one moment, then we jumped into a character scene without much transition.

Other than that, it's a good start .

“Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger.”
-Glen Cook, The Black Company


Tales of Heroism and Bravery, in the 41st Millennium and the Old World. Perhaps some Realm Gate Wars in the future .

Gods' Hall (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=161618

The New Word (Completed)
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=121879
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