Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 12-08: Loyalty Voting Thread - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-29-12, 08:44 PM Thread Starter
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Default Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 12-08: Loyalty Voting Thread

This concludes Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Challenge 12-08!

Congratulations to all of you who participated in this month's competition and making it a success! Thank you all as well, for helping to add colour to the already exceptional fanfic forum here on Heresy. Hopefully in the following months, we can continue to build up interest and maybe bring some more fresh blood to HO's fanfic forums.

Voting works as such:
Each reader (not just writers) can cast three votes, ranking them 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or brief reviews on the stories as well, since each of the writers worked hard to get their entries up.

Scoring works like this:
1st place: 3 pts
2nd place: 2 pts
3rd place: 1 pt

When you vote, ensure that you vote in the following format:
1st Place: Author, Name of Story, 3 pts
and so on.

Unfortunately, to prevent any possible dramas, you cannot vote for your own story. If you cast any votes, you have to cast all three, no picking a single story and nothing more.

Additionally, if you wrote a story, you must vote! As the competition grows, I think it is necessary to point this out. If you enter but do not vote, any votes for your story(ies) will not be counted.

By the end of the voting period, all votes will be tallied and a winner declared.

Once this winner is declared, the winning story will be placed into the Winning HOES thread which has been stickied in this forum.

Just to emphasize again, you do not need to have written a story to cast your votes! The more people that cast their votes, the better!

The deadline for voting will be midnight US Eastern Standard Time Tuesday, 04 September 2012 (adjusted one day due to voting thread going up late). At that time this thread will be completed, the winner declared, and the new HOES topic for Competition 12-08 will be posted.

Here are the entries from HOES 12-08:



Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Challenge 13-06: "Serenity" has started, get your stories in by July 11th!

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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-30-12, 11:36 AM
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1st place= Rems, Flickering Embers- 3 points

2nd place= Adrian, Inquisitor Repentant- 2 points

3rd place= Son of azurman, The return of knight brightsword- 1 point



The Silent Lions Chapter

Winter Falls

Darkness

Give a man a match and he will be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-30-12, 02:23 PM
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1) Dave T Hobbit, Freedom, 3 pts (I love a tinfoil hatted conspiracy ;) )
2) VulkansNodosaurus, Written in Steel, 2 pts
3) Adrian, Inquisitor Repentant, 1pt
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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-30-12, 03:02 PM
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1)andygorn,purpose renewed 3 points
2)adrian,inquisitor repentant 2 points
3)romero's own,apostasy 1 point (like how they just stop and have a english lesson in the middle of a war)

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If an immovable object is struck by an unstoppable force, how many potatoes will fit in the jelly mould?
Renegades 9:flesh is weak
https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...d.php?t=122389

Eldrad Ulthran:
"He who sees his own doom can better avoid its path. He who sees the doom of others can deliver it."

inquisitor czevak:
"Ask not the Eldar a question, for they will give you three answers, all of which are true and terrifying to know."
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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-30-12, 07:30 PM
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1. Dave T. Hobbit - Freedom - 3pts
2. VulkansNodosaurus - Written in Steel - 2pts
3.Liliedhe - the Choice - 1pt

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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-30-12, 09:07 PM
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1st Bloody Mary - of Beasts and Men - 3 pt
2nd Liliedhe - The Choice - 2 pt
3rd Dave T Hobbit, Freedom - 1 pt
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 08-31-12, 11:26 AM
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1st Place: Bloody Mary, Of Beasts and Men, 3 pts
2nd Place: andygorn, Purpose Renewed, 2 pts
3rd Place: Adrian, Inquisitor Repentant, 1 pt

Adrian, Inquisitor Repentant: The Inquisitor's struggle between chaos and faith seems a real struggle without a certain outcome. The ending seems a natural evolution.

andygorn, Purpose Renewed: Another good portrayal of how chaos assaults the mind. I really like the crescendo of events.

Bloody Mary, Of Beasts and Men: The action is punchy and well described; the description of the character's emotional states are believable and contrast well with the action.

Liliedhe, The Choice: The reasons for the protagonist's actions were very believable, and the last lines captured the futility of 40K very well. However I felt it could have benefited from a more developed antagonist.

Rems, Flickering Embers: The descriptions of the events in the assault were varied without the metaphors feeling forced.

Romero's Own, Apostasy: The portrayal of Sororitas close-mindedness was great; however, the discussion in the middle of a battlefield felt forced. There were also a few run-on sentences of doom: "It wasn't good to be confused on the battlefield, especially when said battlefield involved battle against Sisters of Battle bringing battle to those seeking to battle against Man, the Emperor and the cult based on said emperor."

son of azurman, The Return of Knight Brightsword: The idea was interesting. However, parts felt more like a describing events than showing their impact on the protagonist.

VulkansNodosaurus, Written in Steel: The twist at the end was well done; it felt natural for the daemon to give support based on ideals and not allegiance.

Zinegata, Where True Loyalties Lie: I liked the idea and it is well written; however, it felt too much as if it were an extract instead of a complete story.
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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-01-12, 03:27 PM
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3rd place: Zinegata, Where True Loyalties Lie, 1 pt.. Occasionally, the language seemed slightly off (repetitive, maybe?), but the twist was well done, and the conclusion was amazing.
2nd place: Dave T Hobbit, Freedom, 2 pts.. It says something about the strength of this story that I picked it for 2nd place despite its confusing nature (is it supposed to be the 40K universe or an AU?). Great storytelling, great conspiracy.
1st place: Andygorn, Purpose Renewed, 3 pts.. Excellent demonstration of the power of Chaos. One of the few engaging Khorne stories I've ever read.

Renegades Saga contributions
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...tions-cry.html)
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...s-scarlet.html)
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...lesh-weak.html)
The Emperor has turned to Chaos. The dream of the Imperium has become a nightmare. But Horus and his Coalition stand against the dark, here at the end of time.

Lorgar's Betrayal
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...te-heresy.html)
What was broken has been mended. And what was burned away can never be reforged.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-01-12, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VulkansNodosaurus View Post
Dave T Hobbit, Freedom... is it supposed to be the 40K universe or an AU?
I have never been able to reconcile the Emperor's alleged great genius and foresight with the stupidity and lack of foresight he demonstrates in the Heresy, so I tried to create a conspiracy that explained why he seemed to make mistakes. While I am almost certain that the Heresy was not caused that way I am not aware of any fluff that specifically contradicts Horus' fall being the result of the Emperor meddling (as opposed to the Chaos Gods), so it might be the true story.
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 09-03-12, 02:51 AM
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DtH- Ah, thanks. Though if it was the Emperor,the Heresy must have gone somewhat off the rails from his original plan!

Renegades Saga contributions
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...tions-cry.html)
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...s-scarlet.html)
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...lesh-weak.html)
The Emperor has turned to Chaos. The dream of the Imperium has become a nightmare. But Horus and his Coalition stand against the dark, here at the end of time.

Lorgar's Betrayal
(https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...te-heresy.html)
What was broken has been mended. And what was burned away can never be reforged.
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