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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-22-12, 06:12 AM Thread Starter
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Default The Siege of Saganst VII

Okay, so this is my first attempt at fiction. I've wanted to write for a long time but never really took the time to sit and do it. This took me a couple of hours so I didn't spend forever poring over it. My hope is its acceptable for a first attempt! I pulled it from my army showcase since it applies directly to my Necrons.

Just to give you some background, the Lord in this is Khalit, he runs a Tomb World (re: moon) that orbits a lesser planet in a greater system that is part of the Sekemtar dynasty. He is an advisor to Lord Zamanog. Zamanog is the Chamberlain of the Royal Court of Gheisten who subsequently serves Overlord Naszar, leader of the Sekemtar dynasty. Khalit has plans. Big plans. As my army grows, so too do the stories surrounding Khalit and his ascension.

This first story is, conveniently enough, based on the upcoming Apocalypse game at my FLGS on Saturday. I'll be bringing Khalit's forces along with my Imperial Fists and will use the outcome of the battle as narrative for what happens next. This story is the set up for that. Enjoy. Be nice.


__________________________________________________ ______________

Lord Khalit stood at the edge of the cliff, overlooking the plain below. His eyes panned across the forces arrayed before him. It was a bizarre amalgamation of creatures: Chaos Marines, Orks, Dark Eldar - even fellow Necrontyr, oblivious to his presence - prepared for battle. The vast Imperial wall before them stood unbroken, taunting them and their preparation. Imperial Guardsmen took occasional pot shots at Orks too far out of range.

The Orks milled about, randomly thrusting their weapons into the air and bellowing. Khalit knew little about this barbarous race. His exposure to them since waking had been minimal. They sweated profusely, grunted boorishly and seemed to be prone to fight one another as much as the enemy. In the time he had been observing them, seventeen separate fights had broken out in different areas of the horde. Each time, a larger, more armored Ork would stomp over, tear the two troublemakers apart, smack each of them around and bellow at them. Each time, the previously warring pair stalked away into the crowd. He saw many interesting possibilities for their use as he ascended the ranks. He stored away several of the more amusing ideas for later consideration.

A wise distance away from the Orks stood the leading contingent of Dark Eldar. They gathered around what appeared to be an information display, reviewing data on the coming battle. Khalit attempted a smile, something he had not done for several millennia, gazing at the traitorous cousins of his people's eternal foe. It amused him greatly to see the Eldar nation splintered and in decline as he and his fellow Necrontyr rose once more to power. He pondered the possibility of a tentative alliance with them, even if only until their purpose had expired, as a means to further the deterioration of the remaining Eldar. Though a construct of technology now, the small piece of his mind that connected him to his biological past reveled in the in the irony of the Necrontyr using the Dark Eldar to crush the children of the Old Ones under their heel.

Though their position was on the far side of the valley, Khalit could see the Chaos contingent like they were mere meters in front of him. His ability to see from a distance was not the singular reason for this vantage point - he hoped from far enough away, the minds of the warp-touched may not notice his presence so quickly. He knew little of the mind of the psyker but he knew enough to stay far away when he didn't want to be seen. Of all the unwitting allies below, the Chaos forces concerned him the most. "Fear" fear would not have been the right word, having not felt fear for thousands of years. Lord Khalit was merely concerned. He could turn the brutish ignorance of the Ork against itself easily. He could manipulate the Dark Eldar with minimal effort. The gods of the Warp, however, were a mystery and so he kept his distance.

The final contingent was a small force of Necrontyr led by Lord Zamanog. Zamanog had been sent by Overlord Naszar to see that a specific device was reclaimed - a device taken from the Tomb World of Gheisten centuries before it awoke. The group was ringed by a force of Immortals fifty strong and on high alert. The Immortals would form his forward gunline. Drifting from one Immortal to another were the Canoptek Wraiths - each one checking systems for imperfections that might lead to a breakdown in the battle to come. When the order to advance was given, the Wraiths would form the vanguard of the assault, breaking from behind the gunline when the wall was in range. Forming a tight circle around Zamanog were the members of the Obsidian Guard - his personal defenders. Each one bore a Hyperphase Sword and Dispersion Shield affording maximum protection for their Overlord.

Khalit stepped away from the cliff face and, without looking back, gestured forward with his staff. Behind, the joints of his warriors began to whirr and click as they followed. Canoptek scarabs weaved around their feet. The low pitch hum of his command barge, now modified to carry a weapon of great power, brought up the rear. An explosion ripped through the western side of the wall, nearest to the Chaos contingent. A great roar spread across the valley below as the forces charged for the opening in the Imperial defenses. More explosions rippled down the surface and the air was filled with flying ammunition as battle was joined. Khalit saw the Necrontyr forces begin advancing as he expected them to.

Once more, Khalit smiled to himself. He knew every phase of Zamanog's attack plan. Every contingency plan for every surprise. He could see every step the strike force would take before they would take it. He knew all of this because he had planned it. Acting the dutiful advisor, Khalit had drawn up a flawless plan of attack and multiple secondary and tertiary plans in the event the primary plan failed. Khalit had planned every moment of Zamanog's advance with meticulous precision. Every moment up to his assassination.

~600 points of Necrons - Phase 1
1500 points of Imperial Fists - Pictures Coming Soon

Do you live in the Dallas, TX area and love tabletop tactica? Check out Dallas Area Wargamers on Facebook.
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Fear our name, for it is vengeance.


Last edited by Kelann08; 06-23-12 at 10:30 AM. Reason: Removed FONT
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-22-12, 12:05 PM
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Posts should mostly be in the default typeface as it makes them easier to read, especially if they are longer.

An interesting snippet: you have given Khalit character which is an excellent start.

However there were a few things that did not quite work for me:

(i) "Watching them now, he could only glean that they lived for battle." Khalit is described as both knowing little about Orks and having little experience of them, so it seems odd he has made such an extreme statement. I feel it would work better if his statement was less sweeping (e.g. "Watching them now, he noted they seemed almost eager to fight.") or if there were more description of the evidence is considering (e.g. "Watching them fight each other for a place in the front line, he began to think they sought battle.").

(ii) "Though a construct of technology now, the small piece of his mind that remained human...." As Necrontyr were a different race from Humans it seems the wrong description of his pre-mechanical state. Possibly rephrasing it to avoid "human" would work better: e.g. "Though a construct of technology now, the small piece of his mind that remained from his past life...."
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-22-12, 10:17 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave T Hobbit View Post
(ii) "Though a construct of technology now, the small piece of his mind that remained human...." As Necrontyr were a different race from Humans it seems the wrong description of his pre-mechanical state. Possibly rephrasing it to avoid "human" would work better: e.g. "Though a construct of technology now, the small piece of his mind that remained from his past life...."
I can't believe I overlooked that. Total brain fart.

Thanks for the tips.

~600 points of Necrons - Phase 1
1500 points of Imperial Fists - Pictures Coming Soon

Do you live in the Dallas, TX area and love tabletop tactica? Check out Dallas Area Wargamers on Facebook.
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Fear our name, for it is vengeance.

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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-23-12, 09:34 AM Thread Starter
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I did some editing to the Ork and Dark Eldar paragraphs. Should convey a more accurate portrayal of Khalit's character and take some of the "familiarity" out of the narrator.

Comments are welcome. Tomorrow is the Siege!

~600 points of Necrons - Phase 1
1500 points of Imperial Fists - Pictures Coming Soon

Do you live in the Dallas, TX area and love tabletop tactica? Check out Dallas Area Wargamers on Facebook.
We are working to become a community of wargamers from all over the area as well as a resource for those looking to enter wargaming for the first time.


The Emperor commands us. Dorn guides us. Honour shields us.
Fear our name, for it is vengeance.

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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 06-23-12, 10:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelann08 View Post
I did some editing to the Ork and Dark Eldar paragraphs. Should convey a more accurate portrayal of Khalit's character and take some of the "familiarity" out of the narrator.
Glad my thoughts helped. The description of the Orks is excellent.
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