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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-28-12, 04:50 AM Thread Starter
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++Part I++

Our story begins not on some cold and unforgiving death world. Nor do we find our hero in the bowls of some bleak and blackened hell scape. We do not even have the pleasure of finding Guardsman Second Class Philip Metz shitting his pants and hugging the plasteel walls for dear life, this all comes later. We find Metz on the muster field on the planet Dundar.

Dundar is a mild planet. Nominally an agri world, it sits on one of the few stable warp routes between Catachan and Ultamar, so in the last hundred years the Guard has brought a lot of men, material and money to this little out of the way system. Many of the Guardsmen who get hurt in transit or develop some sort of aliment that would prevent a deployment to patrol the shipping lanes around the Maelstrom end up here.

Guardsman Metz is a product of a hurt trooper and an unlucky farmers daughter. Metz was never accused of being the brightest of men. He often found himself in down right dangerous situations and never failed to blunder out of them again. After primary school, seeing as further schooling would have been a waste of money, and joining the priesthood would only draw attention to his cockeyed ideas. With an indifferent heart and his father yelling at him to stop being a plonk and get a job he signed up and swore on the Aquila.

So off to basic training, Advanced Infantry school and then to the muster yard where he found himself on a rolling plain, with the picturesque Dundarian Peaks in the distance. Even the bulk landers looked better with the sun rise behind them, with wisps of smoke from cooking fires all over the muster camp rising. That is to say, they looked better to everyone but Metz.

"I don't know why everyone thinks the sun rise is so nice." Trooper Metz muttered.
"What do you mean mate? You don't?" This was is friend Specialist MacOon who was lucky enough to be selected for Melta training.
"Na, its just light you know, don't really see what the big deal is. You can see better in the day. Its just a big distraction" Metz took a bite of the pork sandwich that he had been working on
MacOon leaned on the melta gun he was stripping down and looked Metz dead in the face "You are mental mate. The Emperor got a good one with you boy-o"

If this comment phased him Metz didn't show it. He took another bite and went on, "I mean you don't think General Wertz and standing about saying 'Oh yep the Baneblades are loading on time, and Throne would you look at that sunrise' no of course not." Metz said this a matter of fact in a way that would suggest that he had a direct line to the general and could raise him on the vox to confirm their mutual disdain for the local star, no matter if it was rising or setting.

MacOon sighed "I'll bet next you'll be talking about how women are just around to make babies and cook meals then?"
Metz nodded, again not getting that this was meant to be a joke," What else are they good for then? Its not like they have to get sent to the ass end of nowhere to kill orks in the name of the empire do they?"
MacOons jaw dropped at this one, "So you've never heard of the Battle Sisters then? The churches holy hellions? Brides of the Emperor?"
Metz just shrugged at the thought, "It is a big empire, I suppose females somewhere would get into this sort of stuff, I just feel like they have a place in the empire, and that place is in the home." He takes another bite.

MacOon was shocked at this. At the end of the day, its not like you meet the smartest people the empire has to offer in the guard, if they were that smart they would have hooked up with the Administrative Arm or just hopped a Trader bound for some where else, but here was a man, calmly eating a pork sandwich talking about how he feels like women need to crank out babies. MacOon thought about prodding further in this vein of questions, he was really curious as to whether or not Metz thought that the fairer gender was entitled to shoes.

Musings about womens rights would have to wait, the platoon our heros were attached to had just been ordered to pack up and get ready to move to the embarking point. At least MacOon had learned one thing, Metz would be a wellspring of entertainment and this alone was a good reason for him to be kept alive.

The IG are proof that good things come to us who wait. I've been Guard since 3rd ed. I been in the store and remember getting 5 boxes of men (when they came in 20 man boxes) 3 Commissars and praying that I might survive til turn 4. I've stuck it out, and you know what I have to say? WHO'S DYING NOW HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!


Last edited by Obinhi; 04-28-12 at 02:12 PM. Reason: it did post the crap version, new version is cleaner
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-28-12, 12:11 PM
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An interesting character. I look forward to reading more.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-28-12, 02:00 PM Thread Starter
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lol thanks, my computer crapped out last night and I thought this failed to post. More to come, I'm going to enjoy this guy I think.

The IG are proof that good things come to us who wait. I've been Guard since 3rd ed. I been in the store and remember getting 5 boxes of men (when they came in 20 man boxes) 3 Commissars and praying that I might survive til turn 4. I've stuck it out, and you know what I have to say? WHO'S DYING NOW HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 04-29-12, 04:33 AM Thread Starter
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++Part II++

Memorandum for 19th Dundarian Infantry Regiment

Subject: Embarkation prior to departure.

1. All personnel not assigned to a vehicle crew will report to load yard gamma no later then 1445 local time. All personal baggage and effects must be carried in the standard issue GA-110 ruck pack. Any item not able to fit in or on the GA-110 must be deposited in the Crispin Model 4 Industrial Incinerator (CMII) prior to loading.
2. Personnel assigned to a vehicle will report with vehicle to load yard hotel no later then 0530. Ensure all vehicles are emptied of fuels as per Imperial Transit Fire Safety Manual 91-4500 paragraph 5.6.7.7: 'Vehicles will not be loaded with any fuel to minimize the risk of spontaneous combustion while the equipment is being moved.'
3. Please direct any questions to Maj Gorin Tinfis 481st Operations Command Traffic Management Officer.


MacOon had just finished reading when Metz said, “I wonder how long this is gonna take then.” It was not a question.

MacOon suppressed a sigh, “It's going to take as long as it has to Metz, its not like they are loading a truck full of buns for market are they?”
“Ya but you know, it just seemed like when I was on the out side everything took less time. My first thing in basic was the shots and that took five hours to get done.”
MacOon couldn't help himself, “That's because they had one med tech and two servitors trying to administer vaccines to four hundred people, that's bound to take some time you div. Just like loading three entire regiments for deployment.”

To say that Metz had a look on his face at all would be an over statement. He looked blank. Trooper Metz was in a word plain. No distinguishing features, no marks, and normally no expression. The only think you could say is that his mouth always seemed to be slightly open. “So do we know where we're off to then?”

At this point MacOon felt that he might as well have been talking to his five year old cousin, “No Metz, we don't, remember the talk about OPSEC? How we will find out when we get there whats going on? Were you even at the pre-op briefing?”
“You mean that thing in the old scrumball stadium with the bloke in the hat?” Metz was always this descriptive in his questions.
“Yes, The bloke in the funny hat, you may know him as Lord Buntington 95th Army Commander and leader of our little outing. Hes the man who told all of us what he could not thirty-six hours ago. Now come one, the squad is forming up. And before you ask, no we don’t need to repack the tents we are getting a bunk on the ship, just grab your pack and lets move before we start our tour with some lashings.”

Metz took about three minutes to get his meager belongings into his pack and form up with the rest of his squad, which was in turn formed in with the platoon, which in its turn was formed with the company. The 19th was a mechanized regiment with a well trained and motivated core of troopers who were mentored by veterans from the Baddab Crisis. Talk was that the deployment was to try and take back some of the planets around the Maelstrom which had fallen into rebellion. Lucky it was small sections of the populations and not the local government which was in revolt.

They walked in loose formation to the loading area, there was no reason to march in formation. The dog and pony shows had taken place a few days prior. The local reporters getting interviews from the everyman heros. The biographers getting picts of the dashing officers drilling row after row of perfectly training troops. The locals getting in to a festive sprite as the men of the planet prepared to go off to a war from which they would never return.

The unit arrived at the loading yard an hour early. Runners were sent to grab nutrition packs for all of the troopers while they did one last check over the gear and waited.

Six hours later they finally got to board the transport which would meet up with the battle fleet and take them to parts unknown. The only thing trooper Metz wanted to know was when he would get to eat.

The IG are proof that good things come to us who wait. I've been Guard since 3rd ed. I been in the store and remember getting 5 boxes of men (when they came in 20 man boxes) 3 Commissars and praying that I might survive til turn 4. I've stuck it out, and you know what I have to say? WHO'S DYING NOW HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!

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