Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Competition 12-04: Annihilation Voting Thread - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #1 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 06:32 AM Thread Starter
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Default Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Competition 12-04: Annihilation Voting Thread

This concludes Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Challenge 12-04!

Congratulations to all of you who participated in this month's competition and making it a success! Thank you all as well, for helping to add colour to the already exceptional fanfic forum here on Heresy. Hopefully in the following months, we can continue to build up interest and maybe bring some more fresh blood to HO's fanfic forums.

Voting works as such:
Each reader (not just writers) can cast three votes, ranking them 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or brief reviews on the stories as well, since each of the writers worked hard to get their entries up.

Scoring works like this:
1st place: 3 pts
2nd place: 2 pts
3rd place: 1 pt

When you vote, ensure that you vote in the following format:
1st Place: Author, Name of Story, 3 pts
and so on.

Unfortunately, to prevent any possible dramas, you cannot vote for your own story. If you cast any votes, you have to cast all three, no picking a single story and nothing more.

Additionally, if you wrote a story, you must vote! As the competition grows, I think it is necessary to point this out. If you enter but do not vote, any votes for your story(ies) will not be counted.

By the end of the voting period, all votes will be tallied and a winner declared.

Once this winner is declared, the winning story will be placed into the Winning HOES thread which has been stickied in this forum.

Just to emphasize again, you do not need to have written a story to cast your votes! The more people that cast their votes, the better!

The deadline for voting will be midnight US Eastern Standard Time Monday, 30 April 2012. At that time this thread will be completed, the winner declared, and the new HOES topic for Competition 12-02 will be posted.

Here are the entries from HOES 12-04:


Table of Contents

Adrian - "But the Food!"

Mossy Toes - "To Comprehend (It Matters Not)"

Jonileth - "Hidden Doom"

Demonlord24 - Pride

Andygorn - E’en in the broken traitor's breast, hatred’s fires still burn deep and bright

Gothik - The Gods Know Best

Adrian - The Eyes of the Dead

Davidicus40k - As You Command

Dicrel Seijin - "Only War"

Zinegata - "Victory or Death"

Kaiden - "Shadow of the Hydra"

Brother Emund - "Annihilation"

BlackGuard - "A Burden to Bear"

KjellThorngaard - "Doom of Many, Doom of One"

Serpion5 - "To Face Such a Beast"

Dave T Hobbit - "Clear Skies"

Let the voting begin!


Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories Challenge 13-06: "Serenity" has started, get your stories in by July 11th!

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post #2 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 07:49 AM
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1st Place: Kaiden, "Shadow of the Hydra," 3 pts
2nd Place: Adrian, "The eyes of the dead," 2 pts
3rd Place: Dave T Hobbit, "Clear Skies," 1 pt

Good writing and twists, all of you three to whom I designate my votes.

Dicrel Sejin - nice one. I'm reminded of some other post-40k work I've read, like LordLucan's 50k stuff. Terra consumed in a warp storm, the Emperor ascended--all very good stuff.

Good job to both BlackGuard and Davidicus 40k, with your Exterminatus-based stories. I spent a long time agonizing over which to rank higher while reading the other entries--until other choices pushed them out of my top three. Still, good pair of stories.

KjellThorngaard--I wanted to vote for your story badly. It's a testament to the strength of the other entries that I didn't. Such original stories as this are wonderful to stumble across. I'll be honest--I have found one other account of a Tyranid-absorbed victim before, but I've been reading 40k fanfic for many years now. This type of perversely beautiful story is just the sort of thing for me.

Great work this month, HOESians. The quality of this competition rises every month. I had a genuinely hard time picking out which stories to vote for.

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post #3 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 10:38 AM
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A very hard choice this month; after rereading them all I managed to narrow it down to seven. After much comparison I finally managed to get it down to:

1st Place: Mossy Toes, To Comprehend, 3 pts
2nd Place: Kaiden, Shadow of the Hydra, 2 pts
3rd Place: Serpion5, To Face Such a Beast, 1 pt

To Comprehend: it is hard to care about strangers so making an entire planet real enough to care about ultimately put this at top for me.

Shadow of the Hydra: any short story involving seeing the future risks an anticlimactic ending (e.g. "...and then he woke up") and with only 1000 words the risk is even higher, so I gave this story second place for both describing the annihilation well and not killing the ending.

To Face Such a Beast: annihilation is a large concept, so I was very impressed with how well this story makes it personal.
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post #4 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 10:41 AM
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1st Mossy Toes To ccomprehend (it mattrs not) 3pts
2nd Kaiden shadow of the hydra 2pts
3rd blackguard a burden to bear 1pt

genuingly couldnt decide but well done to the above and well done everyone this is certainly growing..
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post #5 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 02:00 PM
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Default My vote

I hate you Mossy Toes !!!!!!

1st place - Mossy Toes - To Comprehend - 3 points Grrrrrrrrr!!!

2nd place - KjellThorngaard - "Doom of Many, Doom of One" - 2 points

3rd place - Brother Emund - Annihilation - 1 point

There were so many great stories present it was hard to decide. Honorable mentions; Gothic for the historical view of the last survivors, Davidicus 40 k, Serpion 5 for showing the emotion and momentary weakness of the Necrons and Kaiden.

A good reputation take a long time to build, but only a moment to destroy. Wow, that's deep! Check out the H.O.E.S. short story competition.
Other stories from Adrian.
Look up Adrian in the "Compendium" to find them. Thanks

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post #6 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 02:58 PM
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Again, standard disclaimers - I pick based on how folks are able to cram a self-contained story within 1,000 words. Setting, conflict, etc. And doing a quick review of each, because I wanna make sure everyone is assured I read their story

This time though, reviews first before ranking.

Adrian - "But the Food!" -
I love the concept and the atmosphere. My only quibble: The ending stinger kinda loss its edge, as it felt a bit unclear who was saying that last line.

Mossy Toes - "To Comprehend (It Matters Not)"
High on concept, but a bit lacking in resolution. It's really begging for further explanation. Why is the narrator clearly mad at the Imperium? Why is he / she trying to convey a feeling of hopelessness?

Jonileth - "Hidden Doom"
Earns marks for being a fully self-contained story. But I can't help but feel that the characterization of the Marines (particularly working with an Eldar) is a bit "off".

Demonlord24 - Pride
Nicely self contained, but I felt you were rushing that ending and trying to cram it within the word count (I know the feeling). Can't help but feel it may be a touch removed from the theme though.

Andygorn - E’en in the broken traitor's breast, hatred’s fires still burn deep and bright
I think you have a real talent for describing GRIMDARK stuff. But the formatting is an issue, and the sudden annihilation of the world felt abrupt.

Gothik - The Gods Know Best
I sadly felt it was too heavy on the exposition and not enough story.

Adrian - The Eyes of the Dead
Nice. Very nice. A nice mix of exposition, showing us actual action of what happens in a plague-filled world, and then a great twist. Gave me the same chills as when I read this line from elsewhere: "We are the Walking Dead[/i]".

Davidicus40k - As You Command
It feels a bit heavy on the exposition, but it's a nice twist on how to harden an Inquisitor.

Dicrel Seijin - "Only War"
Not bad, as far as "Emperor ressurected" fiction goes, but it feels much more like an intro to a story than a story.

Kaiden - "Shadow of the Hydra"
Good Farseer story. Action, a story, and a twist. My only concern may be the overly long intro, and I felt the second paragraph could have been condensed for much stronger effect while still framing this as a Farseer story. I would argue that sometimes less is more.

Brother Emund - "Annihilation"
It has the real potential of a good action piece, but the flow is a bit confusing, particularly given the formatting oddities.

BlackGuard - "A Burden to Bear"
I'd really hate to say "a bit too much exposition, abrupt end" again, but it seems to be a habit here

KjellThorngaard - "Doom of Many, Doom of One"
Counting individual cells was weird and threw the story off a bit. Otherwise the overall story concept and the mood-setting was brillant.

Serpion5 - "To Face Such a Beast"
Argh, Necrons! Other than personal quibble, it's a solid self-contained story. Can't really say if I liked the twist in this one though, as I'm still used to the old unfeeling Necrons.

Dave T Hobbit - "Clear Skies"
Mostly solid story, good twist. But it had problems flowing smoothly, as though we were cutting from scene to scene with little preamble.

====

So, anyway, my picks:
1st Place: Adrian - The Eyes of the Dead
2nd Place: Kaiden - "Shadow of the Hydra"
3rd Place: KjellThorngaard - "Doom of Many, Doom of One"

Next time can we have a top 5?

Last edited by Zinegata; 04-23-12 at 03:02 PM.
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post #7 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 02:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrian View Post
I hate you Mossy Toes !!!!!!

1st place - Mossy Toes - To Comprehend - 3 points Grrrrrrrrr!!!

2nd place - KjellThorngaard - "Doom of Many, Doom of One" - 2 points

3rd place - Brother Emund - Victory or Death - 1 point

There were so many great stories present it was hard to decide. Honorable mentions; Gothic for the historical view of the last survivors, Davidicus 40 k, Serpion 5 for showing the emotion and momentary weakness of the Necrons and Kaiden.
Victory or Death is my story ;)
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post #8 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 03:53 PM
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Great stories this time 'round, everyone! My rankings:

1st Place: Kaiden - Shadow of the Hydra, 3 points.
2nd Place: Mossy Toes - To Comprehend (It Matters Not), 2 points.
3rd Place: Dicrel Seijin - Only War, 1 point.

Very nice tales all around, and a lot of different angles and ways of looking at a simple theme. "Shadow of the Hydra" had good descriptions and showed someone other than humans getting devoured by tyranids, though of course there was a twist at the end. "To Comprehend (It Matters Not)" is a very philosophical piece, one that I crafted my story to somewhat counter by portraying Exterminatus as a serious decision that can have (relatively) beneficial consequences. "Only War" is a nice depiction of a post-Emperor galaxy, and his apotheosis made it worthwhile (not just "Oops, Emperor's dead, let the aliens party!").

Honorable mentions go to Serpion5 for "To Face Such a Beast" and Dave T Hobbit for "Clear Skies." It was really tough to pick this month (again) .


"Consequence of Mercy" - Written for KingOfCheese

Last edited by Davidicus 40k; 04-23-12 at 03:58 PM.
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post #9 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 03:54 PM
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Default Good call on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zinegata View Post
Victory or Death is my story ;)
You have a right to be displeased. Sorry about that. I write down my entries upon a piece of paper and with my Dyslexia sometimes see what I wrote down badly.

I do like your breakdown of the stories. Great job.

A good reputation take a long time to build, but only a moment to destroy. Wow, that's deep! Check out the H.O.E.S. short story competition.
Other stories from Adrian.
Look up Adrian in the "Compendium" to find them. Thanks
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post #10 of 69 (permalink) Old 04-23-12, 08:25 PM
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Damn it, why'd I have to give Kaiden my first place vote? Our stories are neck and neck...

Well, I had to vote for him because his story was so damn good, I guess.

CSM Plog, Tactica

What sphinx of plascrete and adamantium bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination? Imperator! Imperator!
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