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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-25-12, 10:07 AM Thread Starter
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Default A Dracon's Ambition

Avaritia



Koreval is the only child and heir apparent to Lord Archon Blackthorn of The Kabal of Shadow's Bane. As a child he was given every indulgence by his parents. Like many Trueborn Dark Eldar he was spoiled to a late age but also meticulously trained in the arts of pain, hedonism and vice. It is no wonder he grew to become a truly greedy individual.

The Blackthorn family claims to trace its lineage to before The Fall. They hold themselves to be far nobler then their Commorite kin but this can only mean they are more scheming and violant than the others. They were perhaps the only noble house to escape Vect's rise to power with minimal damage. This is chiefly because they do not live within the Webway. Though the Webway is the only way to reach their domain, in the core of the hollow planet Nispar. As such, they begrudgingly swore allegiance to the self-styled Master of Commorragh, rather then risk Vect sealing the portals to their domain.

The Kabal of Shadow's Bane has managed to maintain the wealth and prestige of their aristocratic heritage by keeping distant from Commorite society. The Kabal bides its time, building its forces to one day reclaim their honour. Meanwhile, their Real Space raids are infamous, even among other Dark Eldar for their brutality. They are responsible for entire populations dissappearing in the galactic Northeast.

Koreval has learned the lessons of his kin well and has participated in many raids over the centuries. Even without his skill in combat he would have reached the rank of Dracon, but being of noble birth he was granted his own squad of Trueborn his first raid. Being given so much by his parents has left Koreval the epitome of greed. He once killed one of his own Trueborn to claim a female captive for his own.

It was not long before Koreval began to crave more and more power. But having reached the position of Dracon at such a young age left no advancement opportunity, save one. Recently, the Dracon's ambitions have turned to his father. But an open usurpation of Lord Blackthorn would never be accepted by the Kabal. He would become an outcast if not ripped apart by his clan.

The warriors and allies of Shadow's Bane ware loyal to the Lord Archon and would follow no other without a legitimate secession. As such, Koreval had to make his father's death look natural ... or at least at the hands of an enemy. But starting an open war in Commorragh would be damaging to the Shadow's Bane. No, the Lord Archon had to die in a raid. And so Koreval began his plotting, noting the strength of his father's bodyguard whenever they entered Real Space.

He vowed to rule the Kabal and bring them to a new age of glory. For already, Koreval's ambition looked beyound being just Archon. He would bring back the aristocracy and lead Commorragh to conquer Real Space. No longer would his people hide in the shadows, emerging to feed on the pitiful creatures of the galaxy. They would rule as gods, catered to by the lesser races and their foolish Craftworld kin.


(A short start, I know. But there is more to come. Please leave a review.)

"Fetch me another plaything. This one seems to have broken." -Urien Rakarth

Space Marine- "This planet is ours, witch."
Eldar- "No ... This planet is theirs ..."
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-25-12, 12:33 PM
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An interesting beginning. The use of a third person omniscient view point gives it the feel of a history book, which is ideal for setting the scene.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-27-12, 01:13 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you. The perspective is planned to change each chapter; not to confuse, but to tell a more detailed story. I could do that with the omniscient perspective but as you said this is best for setting the scene.

"Fetch me another plaything. This one seems to have broken." -Urien Rakarth

Space Marine- "This planet is ours, witch."
Eldar- "No ... This planet is theirs ..."

Last edited by Archon Dan; 03-27-12 at 03:47 AM.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-26-12, 01:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Archon Dan View Post
Thank you. The perspective is planned to change each chapter; not to confuse, but to tell a more detailed story. I could do that with the omniscient perspective but as you said this is best for setting the scene.
This looks great! If you haven't I would suggest you read George RR Martin he is a master of switching perspectives with each chapter.

What you have here is really really good and I can't wait for more. I have always liked the DE models (except that a lot are fail cast). And might have gone with them at one point but I have never known a lot about them. I am excited to be able to read this though!

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-26-12, 05:47 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pride365 View Post
This looks great! If you haven't I would suggest you read George RR Martin he is a master of switching perspectives with each chapter.

What you have here is really really good and I can't wait for more. I have always liked the DE models (except that a lot are fail cast). And might have gone with them at one point but I have never known a lot about them. I am excited to be able to read this though!
Thanks for the tip. I'll look into his works.

"Fetch me another plaything. This one seems to have broken." -Urien Rakarth

Space Marine- "This planet is ours, witch."
Eldar- "No ... This planet is theirs ..."
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-26-12, 06:51 AM
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Thanks for the tip. I'll look into his works.
Your welcome though don't hate me if you like them and he takes a long time to put out the next book!

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