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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-10-12, 12:02 AM Thread Starter
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Default Death Marches On

Melmen was running, it was the only thing he could think of. Behind him he heard another scream followed by a wet sound he thought best to leave be. Up ahead, another man, who had had the same idea, took a lucky shot to the head and flailed his arms as he fell forward. Behind him he heard the screams of men dying. This was not what he wanted. this is not what he expected. 20 minuets ago, he had been a soldier...
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"Move up to the line all of you!", shouted the sergeant, more so that the plebeians would get out of the way then to his men. Melemen watched this with ease, as a member of the Foltengal L.O.E.D. he had wanted to see just what they were up against, but he had to first herd the plebs away from the firing line. It had been made with standard doctrines:must be on a street at least 1 auto in width (this one was 7), must have have a firing lane of a hundred yards (this was 5 times that, with the exception of the abandoned auto here and there) and had to be maned by at least 10 L.O.E.D.ers(which there where more then a hundred of). All in all, it was sturdy and had been reinforced by two riot tanks with revolver guns and about a dozen enforcers; no cultists or mutants were getting past here. But something seemed off.

Normally when the cultists came up from the Undercity there was a loud chant of general uselessness going on, but there was none of that. When the mutants came up it was do to flooding or overpopulation, but there was no flooding and the last census placed them at a relatively low number, low even for them. Whatever was attacking also wasn't stopping to rest, about a dozen lower levels had been overrun in the course of the last 69 hours and had swept away any ganger or mobster force it came across. And to add to all this, there was a horrible stench that had appeared recently, bad enough that about a quarter of the L.O.E.D.ers were on sick leave today. He himself had a tiny cough but thought bette...

"What was that?" Melmer yelled.

"What?" an enforcer, hopefully not an apothecary replied.

He had seen something jump across one of the building windows, it was only a glimps but the creature had long claws and was all red. Instead, thinking it to be nothing, Melmer said, "Nothing."

The enforcer turned back, muttering something about jumpy L.O.E.D.ers, when a shout called, "Hey there's a straggler!"

Melmer looked out and saw a pleb in the firing lane walking, no, limping forward. His clothes showed the wear of a war refuge, and he held his head down.

"Get over here you frager!" yelled the sergeant. Then the man looked up.

Part of his face had rotted away and, in place of eyes, was a dead yellow glow. Someone lost their nerve and fired at it, causing it to fall down.

"What the Limbo was that?" screamed the sergeant.

"Sorry sir", a timid reply came,"I thought it was a mutant so I..."

"That was no mutant!", bellowed the sergeant, "It was a human!"

"It WAS a human."

Most all of the L.O.E.D.ers looked at the man who said that, the enforcer from before.

"Now", he continued, "its a zed. And we should greet his friends open armed."

"Bloody Father!" someone yelled, "There's more of them!"

Indeed there was. A whole horde of them, more then Melmen thought possible, were shambling forward en mass. Each of them was a grotesque parody of a human, with their soulless eyes and grey skin, many of them had rotten so much that you could see the bones. No one waited for the order to fire, it would have wasted time. Hundreds of semi-autos, a dozen riot guns, and several revolver guns began pouring all the lead they could into these creatures. But none fell anywhere as easy as the first did, a single one requiring a full clip to kill. To top it off, some of them had guns and the cognitive ability to use them, and where returning fire, albeit piss poor at best.

Then there was a scream. Melmen turned just in time to see the red creature from earlier: he joined in with it's screaming. It was as if someone took a human body and had peeled off as much skin as possible and then peeled of some more for good measure. In loo of nails, it had grimy foot long claws and its teeth were all like fangs and where horrifically black. What made it all the worse was that it was coming at him

The first one ignored Melmen and instead decided to try it's luck with an enforcer. Despite the inch think plates protecting him, and all the hand to hand training enforcers have, the enforcer fell in an instant, screaming the whole time. Then the horror started. The creature continued to mutilate the enforcer until his head was exposed then it unhinged its jaw and began feeding on him, starting by swallowing his head whole. It was more the Melmen could stand to watch.

Melmen was running, it was the only thing he could think of. Behind him he heard another scream followed by a wet sound he thought best to leave be. Up ahead, another man, who had had the same idea, took a lucky shot to the head and flailed his arms as he fell forward. Behind him he heard the screams of men dying. Then he felt a sudden tug as one of those creatures pulled him back into the slavering horde...
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-13-12, 11:04 PM
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Very interesting. Short but very good. I only wish there was more of it

Quote:
Despite the inch think plates protecting him, and all the hand to hand training enforcers have, the enforcer fell in an instant, screaming the whole time.
This part broke the flow a bit. Was and supposed to be as?

That's the only thing I spotted. Hope to see more of your writing soon!

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-14-12, 12:01 AM Thread Starter
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Yeah that part had me stumped but that was the best wording I could think of. Thanks for reading it though, I'll try to put up a new one soon.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 03-14-12, 01:14 PM
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The time sense is a little out in that sentence: "...the whole time...." reads as an extended period whereas his fall is "...instantaneous....". Possibly this would read better:
Despite his inch think ceramal armour and extensive hand-to-hand training, the enforcer fell in an instant, screaming.
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