Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Polishing skulls at the foot of the Brass Throne
Many years ago during my raver days, I went for a job interview for a mortgage brokerage firm [ a job I REALLY didn't want anyway] .. Here's the dialogue.
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " You're resume' is outstanding, and you come highly recommended from Mr. Jeffries over at Piedmont Financial. We'd love to have you on board. One last question, a formality really. Do you have a problem with random drug testing?"
Me: " I certainly do!"
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Care to explain?"
Me: " I'd prefer to pick the drugs I'll be testing as apposed to randomly selecting them, but since you're the boss, I'll let you choose."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Well thank you for your time, we'll be in touch"
Me: " No you won't. Let's be honest about this. No need for lip service."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Excuse me?"
Me: " Look sir, if you're going to lie to me right out of the gate I don't know that this is a company I want to work for."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Who said you'd be working for us?"
Me: " You did, just then, before we were discussing your drug habit. You told me you'd love to have me on board."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " I don't have a drug habit."
Me: " Denial is the first stage of a problem. Once you accept it, then the healing can begin."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " I think you need to leave...now."
Me: " Sir please accept my resignation.. I cannot in good conscience work for a man that is a liar and a drug addict. I cannot trust you to be ethical and morally sound"
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " You don't work here."
Me: " I know.. I just resigned..please have HR forward my last check to the address on file."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Good Bye."
Me: " Do you validate parking?"
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Why?"
Me: " You've wasted an hour of my life on this meeting, the least you can do to make it up to me is not waste my money too.. Look I just quit my job and I have to start pinching pennies."
God created Firemen so Cops would have heroes.