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post #21 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-07-11, 10:20 PM
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Went with my brother into a remote country pub on the North Yorkshire moors. It was crowded with locals playing darts. There was a large pentangle on one of the walls written in what looked like blood!
I asked them "Why is there a large red pentangle on the wall"?

The locals were rather annoyed. We left rather quickly after the landlord advised us to "stick to the road lad, don't go on t' moors"...

"Death occurs when a lethal projectile comes together in time and space with a suitable target, in the absence of appropriate armour or protection”

Check out my 40K 'Epic' about the Hunted verses the Inquisition:

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post #22 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-07-11, 10:45 PM
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"I did not fail, I'm only on fire" That sounds bad enough with out even giving you the context

Originally Posted by R3con View Post
Good for the Cock, I wonder if in his little cock head he was thinking "Make me fight to the death mother fucker hows it feel when I fight you!"
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post #23 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 01:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Witch King of Angmar View Post
50 Imperial Credits on your wife kicking your ass for that
What she doesn't see will not get me in trouble. (looking over my shoulder all the while...)
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post #24 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 02:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Unforgiven302 View Post
What she doesn't see will not get me in trouble. (looking over my shoulder all the while...)
Step 1: Find Unforgiven302's wifes phone number.
Step 2: Tell her about this thread.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit?

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post #25 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 02:48 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by KingOfCheese View Post
Step 1: Find Unforgiven302's wifes phone number.
Step 2: Tell her about this thread.
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Profit?
Do It! He will be The new King of cheese then! All swiss cheese......
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post #26 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 06:09 PM
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"Fo realz."

"Consequence of Mercy" - Written for KingOfCheese
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post #27 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 08:40 PM
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just about everything i've ever said.

My little brother called my nans home phone an dwhen she picked up asked her where she was.

Someday someone will say something about me witty or memorable enough to put here til then enjoy this;

Rule 66: the cake is a lie
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post #28 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 09:04 PM
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Many years ago during my raver days, I went for a job interview for a mortgage brokerage firm [ a job I REALLY didn't want anyway] .. Here's the dialogue.

Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " You're resume' is outstanding, and you come highly recommended from Mr. Jeffries over at Piedmont Financial. We'd love to have you on board. One last question, a formality really. Do you have a problem with random drug testing?"
Me: " I certainly do!"
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Care to explain?"
Me: " I'd prefer to pick the drugs I'll be testing as apposed to randomly selecting them, but since you're the boss, I'll let you choose."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Well thank you for your time, we'll be in touch"
Me: " No you won't. Let's be honest about this. No need for lip service."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Excuse me?"
Me: " Look sir, if you're going to lie to me right out of the gate I don't know that this is a company I want to work for."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Who said you'd be working for us?"
Me: " You did, just then, before we were discussing your drug habit. You told me you'd love to have me on board."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " I don't have a drug habit."
Me: " Denial is the first stage of a problem. Once you accept it, then the healing can begin."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " I think you need to"
Me: " Sir please accept my resignation.. I cannot in good conscience work for a man that is a liar and a drug addict. I cannot trust you to be ethical and morally sound"
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " You don't work here."
Me: " I know.. I just resigned..please have HR forward my last check to the address on file."
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Good Bye."
Me: " Do you validate parking?"
Mr. Stuffed Shirt: " Why?"
Me: " You've wasted an hour of my life on this meeting, the least you can do to make it up to me is not waste my money too.. Look I just quit my job and I have to start pinching pennies."


God created Firemen so Cops would have heroes.
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post #29 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 10:52 PM
Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!
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I was in a wheelchair basketball game as part of a school activity and at some part after throwing random jokes about handicapped people (I'm sorry I cant help it.), I completely forget that this was a wheelchair basketball game so I shouted "Trip them" (Which of course is a translation, but I meant by all means for them to use their legs...). Luckily only those who were close to me heard for some reason although I really shouted it and those close to me where my friends so nothing bad came out of it XD

I see in colors, can only smell in grey,
Blinded by light, I drown in dismay.
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post #30 of 39 (permalink) Old 01-08-11, 11:06 PM
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Can't remember how it went exactly, but for me...

*While sitting at the SRP Site in the Army*
Guy next to me: Hey, you play WoW?
Me: Yeah, didn't know you did.
Guy next to me: Yeah, what class you play?
Me: Oh, a hunter. You? What server?
GNTM: Oh, I'm a hunter too. Got any tips.
Me: *Long rant about a new meta gaming concept I figured out that should have lead to an increase of dps of 15!*
GNTM: *Holding smile/laughter in*
Me: You don't really play WoW, do you?
GNTM: Had you going though, didn't I?
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