Getting tired of your adopted child? Just return him! - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-16-13, 08:35 PM Thread Starter
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Default Getting tired of your adopted child? Just return him!

http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/wil...194054370.html

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-16-13, 08:40 PM
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I'd like to know the full details, it says aggressive behavior but what kind? To me that makes or breaks the situation.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-16-13, 09:12 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper45 View Post
I'd like to know the full details, it says aggressive behavior but what kind? To me that makes or breaks the situation.

he was just being a brat, as kids do, and they didn't feel like trying so they just gave up on him.

it says he didn't want to talk to a doctor about it but it's the parents job to make the kid get the help he needs

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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-19-13, 10:04 AM
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Frick'in pathetic parents those Cox's. If you decide to make a big decision to Adopt a kid you better be ready for the consequences of doing so. If you think your cannot, or do not want to; then don't do it!

On the other hand I have seen and heard of aggressive foster children with social/psychological issues. Did they at least try to have him reviewed by a counselor before going ahead with that decision.



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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-19-13, 11:12 AM
nice boy, daft though !
 
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As an adoptive father myself im quite saddened to hear this, what they have done is possibly one of the worst things a parent can do to a child and will likely have caused irreparable damage and will have fucked him up for life, Part of the adoption process training in the UK at least, warns about the issues that can accompany adopted children, what causes them and help on how to deal with them, but most importantly parents are given no doubt about what it is they are getting into if they adopt a child. being a parent is hard work even without any additional baggage caused by childhood trauma.

But adopted children returning to care because there parents are not able to cope with the child at some point is not as uncommon as people might think, infact i think at last count 20%-30% of adoptions in the UK break down and the child returns to care, now that could be a few weeks into an adoption or it could be years down the line and ironically this is more common if the people adopting have other "birth" children.

Part of the problem with adoption is many people go into it for the wrong reasons or with a skewed idea of how children end up in care in the first place, the reality is quite simple you are going to raise a child that was either unwanted or was removed from a family to protect it from neglect/abuse that would seriously effect the child or result in the childs death, now think about that for a second, how difficult would it be to process that as a child? you live with people who love you and look after you but thats because your biological parents either didnt want you or were so shit the law had to remove you from there care??

and then when your 9 and angry and sad and confused, the people who you have come to love abandon you too.

For me the meaning of parenthood is giving unconditional love for your child,you put there needs before your own, you keep them healthy (mentally and physically), you keep them warm and fed and give them every chance you can and teach them to be good people.



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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-19-13, 10:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitsandkits View Post
Part of the adoption process training in the UK
Bit can you elaborate a little on this process? I'm under the assumption it's mandatory IOT adopt a child; but what type of training does it entail exactly?



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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-22-13, 08:33 PM
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Originally Posted by bitsandkits View Post
...what they have done is possibly one of the worst things a parent can do to a child and will likely have caused irreparable damage and will have fucked him up for life...For me the meaning of parenthood is giving unconditional love for your child,you put there needs before your own, you keep them healthy (mentally and physically), you keep them warm and fed and give them every chance you can and teach them to be good people.
Absolutely 100% correct, bitsandkits.

I don't know anything about training, but I imagine adoptive parents/homes/pets/etc are checked beforehand about what kind of difficulties they could cope with a child having(?). For instance, not everyone might be able to look after a disabled young person, or who has been sexually abused, or has learning difficulties, or has a shorter life expectancy, etc.

Also, some of the things mentioned in the article about babies from other countries:
I'm absolutely not being disrespectful to places, but checks and assessments in one country might not be as thorough as wherever the parents live (such as not much known about a child's situation, or there may have been little -or no- prior support for them before adoption).

Sometimes, adoptive parents might have thought that they have 'a blank slate' on which to imprint their child (i.e. if the young person doesn't turn out as "exactly how we imagined", then it all comes crashing down). Yes, I understand that such rejection could mess someone up severely...maybe for decades, generations, or their whole lifetime.

Urgently trying to trace any living relatives of Private Sam/Samuel "Jock" Wilson (Black Watch, No. 6 Commando, UK Army Service ID 2764432, died 10.06.44). Any info/suggestions gratefully received.

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