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post #5921 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-28-16, 05:42 PM
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So I was cooking, I took the spoon out of the boiling soup. Put the spoon on the side. A minute or so later I picked up the spoon and, under the assumption that it had cooled, put it in my mouth. I heared it hiss as it dissolved my lips and tongue.

Now I'm sitting here compulsively licking the peeling skin from my lips. It huuuurts.
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post #5922 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-30-16, 07:42 AM
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I may murder my flatmate.
There are many good reasons for me to murder him. One of which being his level of laziness, which is actually the laziest I have ever see in a person. He'll drop food on the kitchen floor and then just leave it there. In the beginning I just watched, sure that he'd pick it up like any normal person would. But upon realising that he was just going to ignore it, I asked him to pick it up.
His response was a big *sigh* and "I'll do it later."

The other day I found bits of meat stuck to the wall in the kitchen above the bin. Rather than make the two steps from the kitchen counter to the bin, he just threw the offcuts of meat at the bin, missed, and left it sticking to the wall.

Of course, he never washes anything up. He waits until his girlfriend comes over and makes her wash up for him. Again, with a big exhausted sigh and the excuse that he's too tired to do it. Then he'll go back to his room and play computer games whilst his girlfriend washes up for him.

He often smells bad due to the idea of putting clothes in the washing machine being one of extreme exertion (something he is against).

The other day we had no more clean cuttlery because he'd some how used 9 forks in the making of his dinner and had left them all unwashed in the sink. I shouted at him that I needed a fork to actually eat my food. He came out, washed up a single fork and then went back to his room.
I take the piss out of him frequently about how lazy he is. He sees laziness as a virtue and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

But this isn't the main reason I want him dead.
Every morning, when I wake up and come out of my room he asks me, in the manner of a gameshow host, "How are you this fine morning?", "Are you happy?"

I am not a morning person. I'm not much of an afternoon or evening person either. But in the morning I need to fix my head around the coming misery of the day.
Being confronted by that kind of shit just makes me angry.

I don't know how I am. I've just fucking woken up. Am I happy? Are any of us happy? It's the fucking morning and not the time for philosophical questions about happiness. Am I looking forward to my day? Of course I'm fucking not. What would I have to look forward to? Work?

I've started to call him Oblomov, and anyone who has read Ivan Goncharov would understand.
I advised him to read the short story (it's only 160 odd pages) but he let out a sigh and said, "Ugh, but it's a book. Books are boring."

Last edited by Kharn The Complainer; 03-30-16 at 07:45 AM.
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post #5923 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-30-16, 08:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Kharn The Complainer View Post
I may murder my flatmate.
There are many good reasons for me to murder him. One of which being his level of laziness, which is actually the laziest I have ever see in a person. He'll drop food on the kitchen floor and then just leave it there. In the beginning I just watched, sure that he'd pick it up like any normal person would. But upon realising that he was just going to ignore it, I asked him to pick it up.
His response was a big *sigh* and "I'll do it later."

The other day I found bits of meat stuck to the wall in the kitchen above the bin. Rather than make the two steps from the kitchen counter to the bin, he just threw the offcuts of meat at the bin, missed, and left it sticking to the wall.

Of course, he never washes anything up. He waits until his girlfriend comes over and makes her wash up for him. Again, with a big exhausted sigh and the excuse that he's too tired to do it. Then he'll go back to his room and play computer games whilst his girlfriend washes up for him.

He often smells bad due to the idea of putting clothes in the washing machine being one of extreme exertion (something he is against).

The other day we had no more clean cuttlery because he'd some how used 9 forks in the making of his dinner and had left them all unwashed in the sink. I shouted at him that I needed a fork to actually eat my food. He came out, washed up a single fork and then went back to his room.
I take the piss out of him frequently about how lazy he is. He sees laziness as a virtue and certainly nothing to be ashamed of.

But this isn't the main reason I want him dead.
Every morning, when I wake up and come out of my room he asks me, in the manner of a gameshow host, "How are you this fine morning?", "Are you happy?"

I am not a morning person. I'm not much of an afternoon or evening person either. But in the morning I need to fix my head around the coming misery of the day.
Being confronted by that kind of shit just makes me angry.

I don't know how I am. I've just fucking woken up. Am I happy? Are any of us happy? It's the fucking morning and not the time for philosophical questions about happiness. Am I looking forward to my day? Of course I'm fucking not. What would I have to look forward to? Work?

I've started to call him Oblomov, and anyone who has read Ivan Goncharov would understand.
I advised him to read the short story (it's only 160 odd pages) but he let out a sigh and said, "Ugh, but it's a book. Books are boring."
Is your flatmate made of metal, with a huge head and a slouchy appearance by any chance?
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post #5924 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-30-16, 07:55 PM
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So I found out today that the girl I was dating for nearly 5 years started dating someone like ~3 months after we split up. Each to their own I suppose, but given that we had been dating that long and were planning on getting married etc I figured she might need a little longer than that to get over me. Fuck knows I'm not 100% yet.

Maybe I'm just bitter because I'm currently single and I'd rather not be.

Either way it just pisses me off that, as the person whose been dropped, I've got the most emotional baggage to deal with. Just, argh, fuck it.

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post #5925 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-30-16, 10:13 PM
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So I found out today that the girl I was dating for nearly 5 years started dating someone like ~3 months after we split up. Each to their own I suppose, but given that we had been dating that long and were planning on getting married etc I figured she might need a little longer than that to get over me. Fuck knows I'm not 100% yet.

Maybe I'm just bitter because I'm currently single and I'd rather not be.

Either way it just pisses me off that, as the person whose been dropped, I've got the most emotional baggage to deal with. Just, argh, fuck it.

It's normal. I think women in general (and this obviously doesn't mean ALL) have a hard time being alone. They seem to rate their self worth based on what others think of them. 70% of the girls I have known would do the exact same thing as your ex-girlfriend. They seem unable to function alone and need to be with someone else to feel worth something.

Hah, an ex girlfriend of mine (we'd been together for about 4 years) ended up getting pregnant about 5 months after we broke up. It was an accident on her part, but it hurt like hell. I was an emotional zombie for about a year after that. Seriously, I functioned on the most basic of levels. But, as you know, the pain passes. It can take a very, very long time, but it does eventually pass.
Not that any of this will make you feel even slightly better.

I remember getting angry at all the useless platitudes people would offer. "Oh, there's plenty more girls out there". I would usually do my best to bite back a response consisting of, "Fuck off and die."
Basically, you're going to feel like shit and be a miserable bastard for a while. Just go with it. Fuck everyone else and fuck trying to be happy unless you feel it.
I always found vodka and chocolate to be a good friend in such situations.

Last edited by Kharn The Complainer; 03-30-16 at 10:19 PM.
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post #5926 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-31-16, 08:47 PM
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Of course, he never washes anything up. He waits until his girlfriend comes over and makes her wash up for him. Again, with a big exhausted sigh and the excuse that he's too tired to do it. Then he'll go back to his room and play computer games whilst his girlfriend washes up for him.
FUck yea, i see nothing wrong with this :D The only thing missing here is his gf sucking his dick while he games.

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post #5927 of 6057 (permalink) Old 03-31-16, 10:15 PM
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One of the kids has chicken pox and I got a hemerroid!

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post #5928 of 6057 (permalink) Old 04-01-16, 03:55 AM
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Some Sleep would be really nice about now, but it seems I'm all out.
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post #5929 of 6057 (permalink) Old 04-01-16, 03:32 PM
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The only thing missing here is his gf sucking his dick while he games.
I tell you what, it's fucking hard work concentrating on Call of Duty.......


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post #5930 of 6057 (permalink) Old 04-02-16, 01:48 AM
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Tonight I went to a club where everyone was dressed as a clown. Everyone was gay. I was confused. A harlequin sang Cindy Lauper songs. I decided to drink more in the hope that clarity would be achieved. It never came. Just more gay clowns. I decided that a kebab was the best course of action.
I came back to my apartment at 4:30 and my Russian teacher started shouting at me about something I said to her 2 years ago. This is what happens when you get lost in the warp. Why is my Russian teacher in my apartment at 4:30am?
I couldn't even pretend to give a shit about her grievences, so I was just outright rude. It's 4:30am. Don't sit in my kitchen and offload your shit onto me. She also drank the remainder of my bottle of Russian Standard Vodka. Suka.
Why is she even here? She lives on the other side of the city.
I'm going to bed. Tonight has been too surreal to endure. Gay clowns and angry Russian teachers spoiling my kebab.

Last edited by Kharn The Complainer; 04-02-16 at 01:50 AM.
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