I didn't mean to say girls are responsible for being raped (although re-reading my previous post, I can see how that may have came across), what I meant to say was that in her mind, there is no onus of caution.
Consider the following scenario:
A woman is at a party where she knows one other person. Everyone around her is a stranger.
According to my ex-friend, the answer to the rape issue is not, in part or in whole, "this woman should be cautious, these people could be freaks", it is "these freaks should be educated on why rape is bad".
And this is where I was disagreeing. Yes, education is important on solving the issue wholesale, but women should still be cautious when out at parties or even walking down the street. You never know what kind of monster is walking the same streets as you.
Does that mean if the woman gets raped it's her fault? No. But my whole argument was education != magical instant fix, which was their argument.
Not sure if I posted this here, but this is how I'm seeing their argument:
"Guys, we've invented a way to help women identify potential rape situations!"
"No, stop victim blaming"
"But...we're trying to help"
"No, you're supposed to educate the rapists, not invent defensive mechanisms for the women"
"But what if the education doesn't work"
"No just educate them though"
"But until the education starts working, shouldn't women have a way to protect themselves?"
"Just educate them though."
And nobody bothered to tell me that I was wrong, so that's still how I see their argument.
Now don't get me wrong, my argument isn't flawless either. I'm not saying that if women just used defensive mechanisms they'd all be saved from rape forever. But education doesn't do that either. It's like saying if we educate people, evil will be banished from the world forever. It just doesn't work that way.
And I never held myself up as a paragon of virtue. I had an argument that I believed was right, they thought I was a sexist, victim blaming man-pig who didn't know what he was talking about.
EDIT: Let's not turn this into a rape debate. If you want to continue discussing it, PM me or start a thread.