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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-17-08, 03:17 PM
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214. Don't send the new privates or lieutenants looking for the keys to the APC.
215. When the Lt. gets himself blown up, you are NOT to go to supply for a requisition form.

Vae victus.

"Rommel, you magnificent bastard, I read your damned BOOK!"
-Patton

Light a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Light a man on fire, and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Last edited by Vrykolas2k; 06-17-08 at 03:20 PM.
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-17-08, 04:48 PM
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wow man, i expected somethin like that from you but. wow. didn't picture you bothering to requesition a new lt though

when you gotta shoot, shoot. Don't talk...
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-17-08, 05:53 PM
 
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182. There is no FM for “wall-to-wall counseling”.

i beg to differ

http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare...tary/wall.html
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 06-17-08, 09:12 PM Thread Starter
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my favourite one was no.92 - 'i am not authorised to initiate jihad'
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-20-10, 10:23 AM
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Very good!

Wertypop

Smoke me a Ripper I'll be back for breakfast!
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-20-10, 08:29 PM
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Hahai loved that particularly

The revolution is not now and the coup in military training

Laughed my ass off

kudos to lillian thorne for the awesome sig
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-25-10, 10:54 AM
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hahaha love it i can think of a few ive done from that. Awesome :D
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-25-10, 11:08 PM
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54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

This one wins by far. Its somehow very easy to imagine a random soldier saying that at the wrong time

Win/Draw/Loss(5th ed results)
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-26-10, 05:12 PM
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As military here are ones that I have had happen

1. Not allowed to call CID/CI/Interrogators "der Kommisar" or hum the same tune by after the fire when they are nearby

2. Our commander in Chief is not the lord of change
2a Tzeentch is not in our chain of command

3. Though the Israeli's are our friends, that does not mean "hooking up" is a good idea

4. Hijacking vehicles as OPFOR is not authorized
4a. Even if that is how it would really go down

5. Vehicular roll out does not mean taking the humvees to tony roma's then to best buy.
5a. Even if it is done in time

6 Not authorized to set fires/ create more "realistic" ieds/ build really big tiger traps as OPFOR

7 The facility we work at is not powered by the heart of an orphan

8 "Blood for the blood god" Is not a motivational phrase to be screamed during a combatives tournament
8a even if your warrant said "skulls for the throne" aftewords

9 My military equivalent is not that of an inquistor even if I was part of a specially selected team

10 Not authorized to go hang out the visiting female Israeli soldiers
10a even if they said it would be fine
10b even if they said they had cookies
10c especially if my supervisor went
10d even more so if they were teaching a Krav Manga class

11 Litanies of Hate are not good cadences

12 The G2 forward is not our farseer

13 "Mcguyver esque tactics" are not authorized as opfor

14 I am not to be addressed as lord
14a even if I hold the title legally

15 Not to be addressed as Reverend
15a even if I hold the title legally

16 Not authorized to conduct psychological operations as opfor

17 not authorized to conduct psychological operations ever

18 Not authorized to start revolutions or support revolutions via twitter

19 Not authorized to troll "non friendly" state military boards to confuse enemy

20 Zombie Escape planning is not one of the key warfigher functions

21 Guide ons do not go into water towers
21a even if the battalion xo helped
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 04-26-10, 07:41 PM
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my favs:
104. Vodka, green food coloring, and a “Cool Mint” Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.

145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

Have you ever felt so at one with the world, with the universe, with everything that is, that you were overcome with love?

That is reality. That is the truth. What we make of it is up to us.

-One by Richard Bach
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