How Would You to Lay Siege to the Magic Kingdom's Cinderella Castle? - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 02:03 AM Thread Starter
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Default How Would You to Lay Siege to the Magic Kingdom's Cinderella Castle?

So on Quora, someone posted: What are the optimal siege tactics for taking Magic Kingdom's Cinderella Castle?

Link: http://www.quora.com/Military-Strate...derella-Castle

The answers are frankly fascinating. One plan uses modern military tactics with infantry, artillery, and such; another medieval; another using ninjas; another has spec ops; and one uses breakfast reservations (yes, really); and of course, a nuke.

I like the tongue-and-cheek nature of them all (one cautions against teleporters since those will replace you with evil clones, the It's a Small World secondary objective, using the larger tourists as rations, etc.)

In terms of military thought exercises, what would you want to take and how?

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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 02:22 AM
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3 Sabre teams.

One destroys the power plant, one the sewerage treatment works and the last takes down water supply.

Wait.

A dark, dry but smelly castle will soon be yours!
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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 04:09 AM
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I would advise inciting unrest amongst the various communities surrounding the castle. Are there any diplomatic tensions between Tomorrowland and Frontierland? Exploit theme. Convince the various factions that the others are preparing to strike, using carefully inserted agents (preferably under the guise of mascots, as this would limit the amount of cosmetic surgery required to alter their appearances). Soon, the streets of Main Street USA will run black with the oil of animatronic jungle beasts, and the heads of Chip and Dale will be mounted on spikes at the borders of Liberty Square. Once the infighting has weakened the happiest place on Earth (and turned the inhabits into post apocalyptic scavengers/raiders, of course) it will be a simple matter of riding in on now forgotten technology to improve their lives and be worshiped as gods.



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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 04:39 AM
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Very CIA LOL!
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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 04:44 AM
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TnT vested children after being run thru It's a Small World 500 times.

http://i.imgur.com/aPfHUHy.gif?1




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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 09:26 AM
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If you mind being unsubtle you could always strap a timed scatter explosive to the underside of the monorail, and then send in flanking swat teams through the rear of the building to sabotage it from the inside, while everyone is distracted by the monorails iminent explosion.
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 09:33 AM
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When in doubt, carpet bomb it and everything and everyone withing a 1,000 mile radius. Then nuke the remains.

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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HOGGLORD View Post
When in doubt, carpet bomb it and everything and everyone withing a 1,000 mile radius. Then nuke the remains.
What if you want to take control of the castle, or need some valuable resources contained inside?
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 10:30 AM
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Repeat the above strategy and then take whatever valuable resources you can salvage from the burning ruins... If the valuable items are breakable, swap nuke/carpet bombs for violent gas attacks and smoke bombs, lasting from 48-72 hours. Then move in, take valuables and use the original strategy. Or, if the items are non-flammable, fill the area with flammable gas, then ignite the area, killing all inside.

If you want the castle, use the highly radioactive material left after the thorough nuking, sell it, then commission the creation of a new, better fortress.

Then, in the unlikely situation that there are survivors or relatively undamaged corpses, parade them through the streets of nearby towns and cities as an example, thereby dissuading any thoughts of attack.

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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 07-19-12, 10:36 AM
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Bio weapons strike with life-eater virus, wait, walk in when it stops smelling....

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