The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord - Page 2 - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-22-12, 06:15 PM
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This reminds me of that old game Black & White. This is the conversation I had with a friend on it.

Friend: I like to throw random villagers into the ocean.
Me: Using my godly powers, I supply them with endless amounts of lumber, food, and water.
Friend: Aww, you're so nice.
Me: No. I just like to imagine my worshippers becoming so devoted to me that they forget how to care for themselves. That they come to understand that there is only life through me. Without me they would starve and die slow painful deaths.
Friend: That...I... What's wrong with you!?

Anyways, I love reading this no matter how many times I've already gone through it.

"Snooki gives birth to Heavy Gun Drone squad, someone says they are over powered, then the world ends."
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-22-12, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ARMORMAN View Post
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.

I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
My versions of these:

I will interrogate my enemies in my inner sanctum. However, I will only be there as an illusion, and it will not be my real inner sanctum, but the one that is generally thought to be my inner sanctum. I will also have self-destruct devices scattered around the sanctum in case a rescue is attempted.

If I absolutely must ride out to battle, I will send a remote-controlled robot that looks in every way like me out instead. It will issue a challenge to the enemy leader, promising that if he wins then my remaining forces will surrender. When the enemy leader consults with his commanders, my snipers and heavy weapon teams will eliminate them.

If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will have it duplicated in every way, apart from some minor adjustments. Then, I will present it to the hero as a gesture that I am stopping my evil ways. If he accepts, I will activate the explosives. If he declines, I will put it on display in my headquarters to distract thieves.


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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-22-12, 11:35 PM
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All door opening panels, controls, gear and vehicles will be keyed to the guards' DNA as well as pulse (so they can't knock him out or cut it off to use his hand). If the pulse, DNA, Fingerprint or anything else is incorrect then knockout drugs will be injected through a needle in the panel as well as gas into the room. Then crack teams of guards will be sent in to check who it is trying to get in. If we are in an emergency at the time then death gas and an healthy spray of bullets will be sent instead.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-12, 06:15 AM
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Quote:
Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
This one is showing its age. (For you young whippersnappers, there was a device known as a 3.5 floppy disk, it could contain, at maximum, 1.44Mb of data.)

This was a fun read, again.

And here's one of my own: 107. If I've captured the hero's companions, I will not demand the hero surrender to take their place; I will simply kill them.

"Oh, you can have as much violence as you want, but no swearing and absolutely no sex." --Bruce Campbell

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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 02-23-12, 06:38 AM
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A slightly-more WH40K orientated approach:

108. If I can't progress past Cadia after the first 13 attempts, I will realise that something is going wrong and try to find a different way to get past it - rather than continue doing the same thing over and over again.

109. No matter how much I want to, I will not invade Ultramar. Seriously. I'll stick to less important chapters that don't have much fluff, rather than going after the bigger ones that will always come out on top, even if I've defeated all of them but their Chapter Master and a few First Company Marines.

110. Same goes for various other first-founding Chapter Planets, such as Nocturne, Deliverance, Baal...
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