How to rediscover yourself (might help other people) - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-02-12, 11:29 PM Thread Starter
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Default How to rediscover yourself (might help other people)

Coming up for 3 years I was diagnosed with depression whilst with my ex she messed me around for 3 years and what didnt help was in 2008 I was threatened with a knife, all of this shook me real bad as you can guess. I went for counselling from mid 2009 till I believe mid 2011 (they messed me around aswell), I was also put on anti-depressants which made me worse.

I do suffer from anxiety attacks if I go somewhere i don't know or with people I don't know, my anxiety attacks stop me from doing alot of things because I become seriously ill.

After i finished counselling I thought I was ready to take it on myself to handle my depression which I thought i could handle but it has been slipping, lately i've been feeling like i'm a living someone else's life and not my own. I want to try and rediscover myself again but i've forgotten who I was before all of it all blew up on me. The person I turned to the most I lost 2 years ago this April which was my grandad but he was more like a father to me so I now close up alot of things like how I feel to the point I breakdown crying becuase i'm i get aggitated with it all (yes I know i'm a bloke lol)

But i don't know how to rediscover myself again because i've never had to do it before, so I would like some advice from my fellow heretics please?

Thank you,

Gothic
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 01:14 AM
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Thats probably the most mature and honest thing i ever ever read on an internet forum, firstly i dont want to waffel too much, i dont mind speaking to anyone through PM at any time..Its always better to just talk even through a keyboard..and sleep is sometimes good.

in my opinion you can do a number of things, do what your granddad would want....try maintain a positive attitude towards trying speak to new people (i used to be really nervous, and my friend (mum) got me to approach 5 people one day just to ask for the time ! ) before long i felt i could talk to people more regarding feelings and generally speaking happily. not that weird sober guy with his friends at a bar who spoke randomly to people!

You should treat yourself to some fabric?...most blokes dont enjoy shopping however, treatening ya self to some fresh jeans is always a win.

Everyone has a strong bond to there past, some choose to ignore it/lie about it/love it and so on...however we move forward in life and learn about our selfs more as time ticks on...

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Lee life is one massive shit filled sandwich, some days you take a small nibble others a mouth full....its not what you put in your mouth through its how you swallow it..

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 01:28 AM
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Well I feel that there are two courses open to you and you can do both at the same time. First, I would look to possibly get into a group therapy session. Make sure that it is with a provider and a group you feel comfortable with. The other choice here is begin with single counseling again and work out you fears and anxieties. This can be coupled with cognitive behavioral therapies(CBT). Second, if you haven't considered it you might want to go to Church. The Church is a font of resources and Love. They have support groups and counseling that can help you and also let you know that you are special and loved by Jesus Christ.
Both paths can help you and can be done in conjunction but it can be scary to try something new. Just remember that until you do try something nothing will change....and what do you have to lose.



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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 01:36 AM
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Heh, the French are ALL ABOUT the swallowing!

Nah, I wouldn't know.

Anyway - well done Gothic - it takes balls to be frank like that. I considered doing the same in my reply, but know too many Heretics IRL for that to work for me at this juncture.

To the point - I find the feeling of getting new shoes a great one, but mayhap because I only wear Converse, and I love to have a new colour, especially to mix and match.

You need to take pleasiure in the simple things, but the most important way in which I get through day-to-day is simply by accepting the world is shit, and that happiness, while always the aim, isn't what you should expect or require.

There will always be downs, and a down is much worse when you fall further - if you try to be 'merely' okay all the time instead of aiming to be happy, your disappointments are so much less comparatively that they become more manageable.

...Still, I say that, despite having recently fucked up that philosophy in my own life and having a sea of shit to wade through now to try to find an even keel again.

As a general rule it works.

Last disaster of a relationship I had, I got over partly by a self-centred splurge of cds and dvds. Maybe that's worth looking into?

Always remember; your problems =/= what defines the essential YOU.

What you are is how you REACT to everything going to shit, not the factors that make it shit in the first place.

EDIT: Hrmm, guess I was more open there than I thought. LOL
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 03:24 AM
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im not sure if i can say i've been through the same thing but i have a problem that if i look at my reflection i don't recognize myself i know its me but its just doesn't seem right, i vouxh for whats been said in that talking really helps, i don't go to psychologists but i found just a friendly person thats willing to talk to you can work ten times better, sleep can help but avoid oversleeping. And always remember that no matter what theres always atleast someone there for you.

im sorry i can't help more but if you ever need to chat to someone, pm me.

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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 10:05 AM
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Hey Gothic, when you went to counselling was it after you consulted your g.p or did you go by yourself? I just want to know as some counselors will hand out pills like sweets. My Father suffered for several years with depression he didn't seek help for a while as men of his generation feel heavily stigmatized by mental illness, but he's grand now as he got the help he needed. My Dad was medicated for mild depression and to be honest I would hate to see severe.

The brain is an organ and like all organs or body parts it can become strained overworked or down right broken but like everything else it can be mended with the right help. My advice would be consult your g.p if you have not already or see a different one, let them know what you are feeling and explain that you felt messed up on the depressants. Regular exercise is as good as mild psycho therepy, and try hard to stay focused and don't try to walk before you can run, although you may feel better and think you can go it alone, don't be so quick to try, depression moves in waves. You will get better but it will take time, maybe an infuriatingly amount of time but you will, just remember it WILL be hard mental health issues need to be sorted 100%.

Remember the army mine field drill, when you are in a mine field trying to get out you don't rush you take a deep breath and take your time looking for the mines to get yourself out and when you find one you carry out the drill MARK IT, MOVE AROUND IT, CARRY ON, treat all shit sandwiches in life like this, it is a simplistic view but works, stay focused and keep posting let us know how you get on.
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 11:43 AM
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From my experience many of the issues that really make us are doubt who we are are more problematic because we face more than one at a time; whilst it is very hard to do solving just one can both give us an increased sense of worth and make the other seem slightly less apocalyptic.

I find a daily breathing exercise can really help with getting this perspective: spending 5 minutes every morning focussing purely on feeling air fill your lungs fully then empty out fully made me calmer and happier very quickly. Also after a while your body will start to associate this breathing with a feeling of controlled calm so if you start to feel distant or troubled then a few breaths to fully fill and empty your lungs will help bring you back into yourself.

docgeo's point about faith being a strong source of comfort has merit; I have certainly received support from my Gods.
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 12:27 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oldman78 View Post
Hey Gothic, when you went to counselling was it after you consulted your g.p or did you go by yourself?
I went to the G.P about it because at first my family thought it might've been bipolar because my moods changed alot like one minute I could be laughing and joking then the next I could go really dark and angry, if that makes sense? The other reason I went to my G.P is because i tried killing myself 3 times in 4 months and I also forgot to mention that i was put on sleeping tablets because it also caused me insomnia.

Quote:
You should treat yourself to some fabric?...most blokes dont enjoy shopping however, treatening ya self to some fresh jeans is always a win.
Quote:
To the point - I find the feeling of getting new shoes a great one
I did go clothe shopping last week which caused my other half to say she's not coming shopping with me again because i couldn't find the trainers i wanted and it took an hour to find another pair i liked. But i did feel great a week or two ago because i lost some weight so some of my old jeans fitted me again.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 12:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gothic View Post
I went to the G.P about it because at first my family thought it might've been bipolar because my moods changed alot like one minute I could be laughing and joking then the next I could go really dark and angry, if that makes sense? The other reason I went to my G.P is because i tried killing myself 3 times in 4 months and I also forgot to mention that i was put on sleeping tablets because it also caused me insomnia.





I did go clothe shopping last week which caused my other half to say she's not coming shopping with me again because i couldn't find the trainers i wanted and it took an hour to find another pair i liked. But i did feel great a week or two ago because i lost some weight so some of my old jeans fitted me again.
Trainers are good from TK max ! (i prefer to go shopping with my mum than gf hehe)

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Quote:
Originally Posted by normtheunsavoury View Post
Just remember, patience is key to painting, in chef terms you're slow roasting a pork belly not flash frying baby squid. .
"An Earth without art is just EH.."
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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 02-03-12, 12:52 PM
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When I'm having a bad day, hanging around people that make you laugh always cheers me up =3


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Last edited by Alsojames; 02-03-12 at 12:56 PM.
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