Thanks for the understanding, there, Darklord.
To the other Heretics who have been so sympathetic and have listened to me bitch, many many thanks. The idea that I might get to meet some of you in the flesh, that I won't be totally alone once I get a place of my own, makes the prospect of going home a bit less fearful. As soon as my stuff gets off the boat (it's going to take 3-4 months to ship my heavy stuff, it's just cheaper that way), I'll let you Heretics know and hopefully we can get some games in. I've got a sneaking theory that the Baron is one of the missing Primarchs, so I'll hopefully get to find out and let you all know if one of the Emperor's sons is amongst us!
Things are a bit calmer now, as if both of us having a direction and a goal that it is within our power to achieve, rather than being something that someone else may or may not grant to us, has lightened the mood. We're talking again, which has improved things no end, and something of the friendship we always had had come baclk. It's just odd suddenly not sharing the little intmate moments, a touch, a nickname, a kiss goodbye and goodnight; however, i think that the 3 weeks of non-communication have already put that distance between us, so it's not too much of a surprise that I don't feel as if I really miss those things.
My family still don't seem to get it. I know their hearts' are in the rightplace, but it feels as if they're smothering me, and most of the time I can't really talk freely because the ex-ish-Wife is here. Then my Sister keeps being hostile about the Wife-ish- I understand, but I've asked for them not to do this because it is totally pointless and doesn't help me at all. I'm a bit scattered with my emotions and don't need my family basically saying 'I told you so'. Doubtless it will end up with an argument, doubtless I'll be considered wrong or 'weak'. In every situation in my life were I've thought one way and my family the opposite, I've been right. Yet still, here we are with them not trusting me.
Sod's law decrees that I've also just met a girl who I think might be into me; all fat, hairy, ugly me. Sounds like a good cook as well. Hey Ho.
Anyway, an early Merry Christmas (or whichever tradition you do or don't follow) from me!