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  Topic Review (Newest First)
02-08-18 09:42 AM
Eshara New Dawn Edit


The New Dawn Chapter
The New Dawn Capter Is successor of the IX Legion, The Blood Angels they are Noble Berserkers but Unlike the chapter they hail from they view the Red thirst as a blessing of the primarch Sanguinius. because of this they do not attempt to quash this urge in there preferred fighting styles and utilize it for the increase in strength and savagery it allows. Yet despite this view they still value the lives of civilians of the imperium and other human cultures in general, and To cause Suffering to the civilian populations they defend is among the chapters highest crimes.


Chapter founding/duties: the New dawn was founded as a standing Force to defend the ghoul stars on the fringes of imperial space during the Late 37th millennium as such they where initially a fleet based chapter.

Chapter strength: Nominal (roughly 1000 marines currently)

Force Organisation: Divergent chapter.
The New DAWN does not send there neophyte into the scout squads as codex chapters do they instead train the recruits as there implants take hold with in the chapter monetary on Istraughtium IV, and Release the newly made Adeptus Astarties directly into the 10th Assault company, the Death Core. Believing that the hot headed youths might learn to harness and control the Red thirst in the relative safety of close combat. Once they have mastered their rage in the crucible of close combat they are promoted to the 9th company, a devastator company where the will learn to utilize and maintain the heavier weapons they might need in more specialized operations, and function as support troops too the main bulk to the assault.
If they serve well in this roll they my be promoted to serve in one of the many battle companies where they can select there rolls as with harder assault marines or continue as heavy weapons specialists while they hone their leader ship skills and may eventually be raise to the position of a tactical marine. after many years of service in the numerous battle companies a Marine might be asked if he wishes to join the vaulted st company if he agrees he must first test him self in the 2nd Scout company for a while and serve as the eyes and ears of the rest of the chapter ensuring the larger operation has the correct intel so they might fight with the greatest efficiency.


Combat Docturn: The New Dawn utilizes the red thirst as a weapon to destroy there enemy in brutal close combat engagements either Entering in the fray By StormRaven Thunderhawk ar drop pod and assaulting the enemy position or Command structure with such speed, ferocity and with so little quarter given that the enemy combatants have no hope of mounting any defence. As such The New dawn specializes in Assault troops, heavily modified armour designed for speed and maneuverability. How ever what the enemy often does not see is the early insertion of the elite scout forces that are sent to report to the New dawns command structure in order to deploy the Assault forces in the most effective manor possible. the 2nd company is also tasked with securing mission critical objectives like deploying teleport homers for terminators and sabotage

Chapter beliefs: Being a much younger chapter The New dawn Veiws the Emperor of man kind as a living god and share strong ties with the eccessiachy, especially the Sisters of battle they are strong believers in the tenants of the imperial cult and are very religious. The also hold the belief that they are the guardians of humanity and still hold out hope of forefilling the emperors dream, of a safe secure and prosperous Imperium free from the shackles of False gods they fight for the day when the imperium may lay down its arms and no matter how far away that goal seems The New Dawn Will never give up hope.

Home world: Istraugtium IV, A death world located near the ghoul stars. This Planet is a hot and desolate planet with two small polar fresh water oceans. this world was in rabbeted by humanity in the dark age of technology for its rich mineral wealth in the western mountain ranges. this world was lost to humanity by the warp storms the that where building at the hight of the elder empire, and rediscovered by mere chance by to then fleet based New dawn chapter. when their stricken capitol ship exited the warp blind after the battle of Elhenor. it now replaces the shrine world of Elhenor with several shrine cities along the oceans as well as serve as the chapter world of the Dawn

Notable engagements: The battle for Elhenor. The Battle of Elhenor took place on the shrine world of Elhenor a bastion of imperial faith serving the fringe worlds of the Imperium. The world was attacked by the a huge war band of the traitorous sister of Our martyred lady Miriael Sabathiel, and a fleet of highred chaos forces. a sub order from the order of our martyred lady had been ambushed by a sizeable contingent of chaos forces, including endless streams of cultist, corrupted sisters, a sizeable contingent chaos marines dedicated to slaanesh and daemons, had launched a surprise attack on the small covenant of sites left to defend the world. Being the nearest possible source of relief the Chapter Master Ergo Marchez responded personally with his first company, the bloody 3rd, and 6th company and brought all the might of his capitol ship the Dawnalithe to respond, though the dawnalithe was not the largest nor the most destructive ship in his fleet it was the most advanced a young fresh design that combined the speed and agility of a light cruiser with the firepower of a much larger ship.
Unfortunately the information on the situation was incorrect where the reports had indicated that there was only a single chaos ship in orbit, the chaos champion Miriael Sabathiel had hidden the res of her fleet behind the planets sun where the solar flares and background radiation would hide here ships from detection. this allowed her to send huge numbers of her loyal to engage the marines planet side while her larger fleet out flanked the dawnalithe.
On the planets surface the New dawns assault had bogged down in the shear volume of cultists, blunting the attack.
Also out gunned in space The Chapter master was forced to order the withdrawal and extraction of the remaining Adepta Sororitas and the priceless reflects and artifacts they defended. but in doing so Lord Ergo Marchez was left with but one remorse one choice that turned his stomach, the death of the world and every thing on it. He did so then ordered the retreat back into the warp but not before his ship was severely damaged by the fleet of the Sister-supierior of Slaanesh. Though Marchez was able to escape there clutches his ship trailed wreckage across the warp, the damage causing the seller fields to flicker and die several time during the trip, the worst of which occurred three months into the journey back to his fleet. This time the psychic back lash from the exposure to raw warp stuff killed his remaining navigators and much of his support staff. and force him to drop from warp right then and there. worse still when the ship entered real space it entered with in the gravity well of the lost world of Istraughtium IV. Here Ergo evacuated all he could from the ship and admit to fall into the dunes of the equator. keeping the ship "Largely" inact but permanently grounded. this ruin the Dawn would later convert into their chapter monestary and the primary shrine on the planet.


Yes I do realize that the Red thirst is a berserk rage, how even in the throws of the Red thirst even the blood angels can tell friend from foe. The New Dawn utilizes it where it can be of the most help, since they rely most heavily on brutal close combat engagements they do not see it as a shame but the do realize its a bad idea if there scouts blow there cover and frenzy so they rely on testes veterans for that task.

sorry I thought the ghoul stars where in the Eastern fringe my bad.

Also I hope I'm getting across the razors edge the New Dawn Chapter walks. the are one of the most brutal chapters when engaged in battle and they are a terror for their enemies but they also represent hope for the imperium. guardsmen will cheer if they know they are to Fight Along side the Dawn for despite the butchery they will see they know those blades will never fall on them and are there to ease their fight.

I still could use some Ideas for some Notable engagements that didn't end in disaster.
02-07-18 05:01 PM
darkreever
Alright, I've rewritten certain bits so its an easier read as I go through sections:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
they believe that the Red Thirst is a gift from Sanguinius
You are aware that the Red Thirst is insane bloodlust, resulting in them abandoning sense, right?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
they focus on lightning raids, assaulting enemy positions or command structure with such feed and ferocity that no defense can be mounted.
This is honestly the MO of almost every chapter. Some chapters may also be known for the use of armoured units, but all chapters lack the numbers for prolonged engagements, and so favour lightning/critical strikes to wipe out command elements.

Its one thing for them to excel at this, but how?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
yet despite this they value the lives of civilians and to cause suffering to civilian populations they defend is amongst the chapters highest crimes.
I get that there will be times when they cannot perform lightning assaults, but there should be extremely few times when they are enacting defensive actions. So this seems rather out of place, given their combat doctrine; you'd think that if they found themselves in a defensive situation where civilians might be involved that they would choose to take the fight to the enemy while the civilians fled.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
The New Dawn Chapter utilizes more assault marines than any other chapter, even their armour is modified for speed and exceptionally aggressive attack doctrine.
Their greater use of assault marines more or less goes without saying, as the sons of Sanguinius are all known to prefer close quarters fighting and many can field larger numbers of jump pack armed squads than most standard codex chapters.

How is their armour modified?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
Homeworld: Istraughtium IV - A desert death world located in the eastern fringe. Settled by humanity after dicovering rich mineral deposits. At some point records of the world were lost and the inhabitants reverted to a more primitive, tribal state prior to rediscovery.
Around when was the planet lost to the greater Imperium? I'm assuming around the time of the Heresy, which would make sense, though keep in mind the eastern fringe is home to the Ultramarines and their systems spanning empire. Where is this world located in relation to that? (The eastern section of the Imperium is perhaps the largest segmentum of man so there is a lot of ground to cover.)

When was the world rediscovered? When was The New Dawn chapter founded?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
Chapter strength: nominal
So I'm guessing they number roughly full chapter strength then? Ratings like nominal or critical are not singular values, but instead encompass a range (critical, for example, is a chapter that numbers less than 300 while nominal might be a chapter numbering over 800.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
Organization: Divergent Chapter - The New Dawn chapter does not send their neophytes into a scout company as many codex chapters normally would. Instead newly inducted marines begin within the chapters 10th company, known as the Death Core. The Death Core is an assault company, where marines learn to harness their rage before moving onto the chapters Devestator company. From their they learn to reign in their rage, honing patience and precision over reckless abandon.

Finally they move onto service within one of the chapters battle companies, and one day possibly proving their worth to join the chapters elite scout company.
This honestly reads like you want to take an element that makes the Space Wolves unique and have it in your own chapter. The problem is that the Space Wolves are a highly divergent chapter, whose induction practices see initiates not truly training to become space marines until they have already been turned into them. They can do that both because of their recruitment style and the resources they have access to as a founding chapter.

Codex adhering and divergent chapters generally train aspirants/initiates as they are going through the process of becoming space marines, which is why they go to the scout company first. Theres nothing stopping you from having them replace the scout company with an assault company, but everything else thus far contradicts this portion.

If their combat doctrine is aggressive and close combat oriented then why do they suddenly have much care for heavy weapons, recon teams, and sabotage?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eshara View Post
Notable engagements: rescue the Adeptus Sororitas from the shrine world of Elhenor
Was it a notable order of battle sisters? Why did the sisters need rescuing? Were they guarding an inquisitor or ecclesiarch or other individual on a mission of some kind and been cut off? And against who?

The thing about notable engagements is that they do not have to be from games you've played. And just because you did not win a physical game does not mean that, if you want to use it, your marines ultimately lost. Perhaps their position in that battle was overrun or they were unable to secure an objective (ultimately denying it to the enemy before making a withdrawal from the area.)

Perhaps they attempted to route an enemy position, succeeded in assassinating a powerful commander/advisor and falling back before becoming overwhelmed.


Overall, you seem to be combining the "cool" elements from several different chapters in order to have one "awesome" chapter. I'm seeing the aggressive nature of the Blood Angels, the noble humanity of the Salamanders, and the unique organization of the Space Wolves. There are ways to blend these elements, but right now they do not mesh that well the way you've written them.

Things to consider focusing on, to further flesh out The New Dawn:
-Founding: when were they founded and why were they founded? Has Istraughtium IV always been their homeworld or were they previously a fleet based chapter and were the ones to rediscover Istraughtium IV in a manner similar to when they Flesh Tearers discovered their homeworld of Cretacia?

-Organization: As a divergent chapter The New Dawn don't strictly follow the codex astartes. This is easy for you to represent with an additional company, an assault company replacing the scout company, each company being responsible for its own recruitment and training of new marines, and a relative lack of heavier weapons/vehicles.

-Beliefs: You mention early on that The New Dawn see the Red Thirst as a gift, but how? Right now its a brief throwaway line that doesn't appear to come up in their organization or training.

-Colour scheme: Goes without saying, and I'd recommend the space marine painter from bolter and chainsword, pretty easy to work with overall.

-Relations with others: Do they have a checkered past with anyone? Come to blows with another chapter/Imperial organization?
02-07-18 03:32 AM
Eshara
The New Dawn Chapter.

The New Dawn Chapter
the New Dawn Chapter is a successor of the IX Legion, the Blood Angels. They are the noble berserkers and un like the parent chapter they hail from they believe that the Red thirst is a gift from Sanguineous they focus on lightening raids. assaulting the enimys positions or command structure with such speed and ferocity that no defence can be mounted, yet despite this they value the live of civilians of the imperium and human cultures in general and to cause suffering to the civilian populations they defend is among the chapters highest crimes. The New Dawn Chapter utilizes more assault marines than any other chapter even there armour is modified for speed and exceptionally aggressive Attack doctorn.

Home world: Istraughtium IV, a desert, death world in the eastern fringe. Settled by humanity long ago for it s rich mineral deposits. though it was long ago lost to the ages and its people reverted to primitive tribes.

Chapter strength: Nominal

Organization: Divergent Chapter. The New Dawn Chapter does not send their neophytes into a scout company as many codex chapters do instead they induct the newly made Adeptus Astarties into the 10 th Company, The Death Core. believing that serving in the assault the hot headed youths could tame their rage in the relative safety of close combat. Once they have cut their teeth in the crucible of close combat they are promoted to the 9th company a devastator company to learn the use and Maintenance of the heavy weapons utilized by the chapter. If they serve well in a devastator they will be promoted to serve in one of the many battle companies. After years of service the marines may be elevated to the 2nd company the scout company tasked with Mission critical objectives and Sabotage.

Notable engagements: rescue of the Adepta Sororities from the Shrine word of Elhenor


I need some help with the notable action my chapter has engaged in if I go with My own battle reports from the table top game it would make them an abysmal force As my record for the Table top game is 0/8/1

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