|Topic Review (Newest First)|
|07-08-15 01:30 AM|
You know, I'm not actually sure myself. As I said, Alpha Wolves was a random story I came up with. That, and I'm not certain what you mean by kill-team, you mean as in the 40k game? If that's the case, then I would say no. Alpha Team is hunting Kei Endo, a daughter of the royal family and air to the throne of somewhere. I kind of used an alternate history setting of Numbered Days, where Kei is locked in a civil against her older sister, Empress Sorano Endo. Obviously, the alternative history does not work out for her.
I realize I probably did not explain it well, but with the thousand word constraint, I thought people would rather read about something more intense than a history lesson.
Thanks for the encouraging feedback everyone, it inspires me to return to some old, dusty ideas locked away somewhere.
|07-07-15 11:00 PM|
These were all very enjoyable stories - all intriguing and made me want to know more about the characters and locations/history.
1st = 3 points = Adrian (Dogs of War Beyond the Scope)
Had what I imagine to be a real "sniper" feel to the story.
2nd = 2 points = Treesniffer (One Patient Knight)
I could imagine reading this as a novella with their full tales woven between these branches.
3rd = 1 point = Brother Edmund (City of Death)
Had a good "the hunter, hunted" feel to it.
M'yen Tal (Alpha Wolves) = I got a bit confused about whether it was a "sleeper-cell within a kill-team" kind of approach? But was still interesting and wanted to know more.
Brother Edmund (Training Day) = For me, this didn't quite fit the patience theme as well as the others, but I still liked reading it.
Loads of thanks to all for posting their stories...I think these ideas and writing stand up to quite a lot of in-print books (which people pay for).
|07-03-15 10:10 AM|
1st - Adrian - Dogs of War - 3 pts
2nd - Andygorn - Know When To Run - 2 pts
3rd - Brother Emund - City of Death - 1 pt
This was fun and I enjoyed all of the pieces.
For Dogs of War; the weight of the inevitable was excellent. Dark and crushing with no possible victory, paired with the theme of Patience. I enjoyed the slight jolt of victory towards then end, and the sad end where impatience finally manifested itself and the inevitable failure arrived. The first person perspective was perfect.
Know When To Run; This had my first vote for some time. Second person is difficult to pull off, even more so with a word cap. The first read through my questions got in the way of the story, but I really enjoyed the 'lack of patience' theme. Going back and rereading, I liked the strength of character both the chief and the wise woman displayed. The tale of self-destruction fit the theme like it was meant for it.
City of Death; I liked City for its action and keeping me on the edge of my seat. The building sense of panic in the ranger was nicely done and you could see the mistakes the poor guy was making. You pulled off the sense of being hunted very well. I enjoyed watching the ranger go from the master marksman to a furtive animal seeking escape, only to run into its stalker. Not away from it. Another good example of impatience.
Thanks! Again, they were all very good. Alpha Wolves was a great teaser if you wanted leave me waning more, because I'd love to see more of that story. An excellent piece of a larger adventure. Training Day was an added treat, getting to see the other side of the coin.
|07-02-15 10:28 PM|
1st place - 3-points - Myen'Tal - Alpha Wolves
2nd place - 2 points - Brother Emund - City of Death
3rd place - 1 point - Treesniffer - One Patient Knight
Andy, I thought it was a little muddled but I got the picture pretty well. Very dark. Saving his wife was his goal, but his anger was the fault and his unwillingness to listen cost him everything. good read.
Myen, I enjoyed the set up and the determination of the clearly outnumbered. I hope there is a part two to this. I look forward to seeing what will happen next.
Brother, I liked the fact that you put in two stories. I liked the first one more since I could see the stalking chess game going on.
Sniffer, I love the fact the young night never gave up on his love for the girl. Even when he knew she was to be someone elses. A good read.
|07-02-15 08:40 PM|
1)Adrian, Dogs of War Beyond The Scope, 3 pts
2) Andygorn, Know When To Run, 2 pts & Treesniffer, One Patient Knight, 2 pts
Adrian - I like snipers, and with the topic - Patience, it just had to be. Very descriptive. I felt like I was there. You also stuck to the theme.
Andygorn and Treesniffer, a bit unorthodox but I have given you joint second place. Nothing between them and not sure about 'the theme' in you stories??? Mr Hobbit will probably tell me off for doing a joint score!
Myan'Tal - my friend. I missed your entry (you never fail)! Nevertheless, I enjoyed your random one and would like to see some more of it
|07-02-15 07:41 PM|
So many good stories to vote for this month! Unfortunately, I can only vote for three, so here are my votes.
1)Adrian, Dogs of War Beyond The Scope, 3 pts
2) Andygorn, Know When To Run, 2 pts
3)Brother Edmund, City of Death, 1 pts
Treesnifer, I felt that you had a really good entry. Though I'm not sure why the story is called One Patient Knight, since it seems that the Lady he is waiting on is the one that is most patient to see his wife. It was the patient knight that seemed to have moved on.
Brother Edmund, I liked both of your entries, but I favored the one from the eldar perspective more. It was more suspenseful and exciting to see two experienced Outcasts face two other Marines trained in the aspects of stealth. You expressed patience quite well, through the Outcasts' enemies and through them as well.
Andygorn, I felt that it was you that used this month's theme in the most creative way. I like the whole doomed and tragic feel that weighed down the main character when he discovered that it was he that had killed his wife in the end. The main character seemed too impatient for a cure and to realize that saving his life may have required self-sacrifice.
Adrian: a grim tale of survival in a world undergoing its death throes. I found myself really rooting for this character as I followed him on his desperate gamble to survive and take out as many foes as possible. Good use of the theme is implemented throughout the story. The character either dies or is captured in the end, leaving us with a mysterious cliffhanger to contemplate his fate.
I liked all of the stories this month, very good work people.
|07-02-15 05:10 PM|
|Dave T Hobbit||
Heresy-Online's Expeditious Stories 15-05: Patience Voting
Congratulations to all of you who participated in this month's competition and making it a success! Thank you all as well, for helping to add colour to the already exceptional fanfic forum here on Heresy. Hopefully in the following months, we can continue to build up interest and maybe bring some more fresh blood to HO's fanfic forums.
Voting works as such:
Each reader (not just writers) can cast three votes, ranking them 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Feel free to share your thoughts, comments, or brief reviews on the stories as well, since each of the writers worked hard to get their entries up.
Scoring works like this:
1st place: 3 pts
2nd place: 2 pts
3rd place: 1 pt
When you vote, ensure that you vote in the following format:
1st Place: Author, Name of Story, 3 pts
and so on.
Unfortunately, to prevent any possible dramas, you cannot vote for your own story. If there are fewer than four entries, you do not have to cast all three votes.
Additionally, if you wrote a story, you must vote! As the competition grows, I think it is necessary to point this out. If you enter but do not vote, any votes for your story(ies) will not be counted.
By the end of the voting period, all votes will be tallied and a winner declared.
Once this winner is declared, the winning story will be placed into the Winning HOES thread which has been stickied in this forum. The winning writer will be awarded the Lexicanum's Crest (seen above!) forum award for fiction excellence during the quarterly Awards.
Just to emphasize again, you do not need to have written a story to cast your votes! The more people that cast their votes, the better!
The deadline for voting will be midnight GMT 9 July 2015. At that time this thread will be completed, and the winner declared.
The rewards for entering/winning are:
Participation - 1 reputation point
3rd Place - 2 reputation points
2nd Place - 3 reputation points
1st Place - 4 reputation points
Here are the entries from HOES 15-05: