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  Topic Review (Newest First)
02-13-15 12:57 AM
Originally Posted by Over Two Meters Tall! View Post
Both of you are kicking ass! You've made it very difficult to read several stories in the "Shield of Baal" series... crap writing, crap plot, crap 40K context.

As always, keep up the good work!
we aim to please
02-12-15 06:31 PM
Over Two Meters Tall!
Originally Posted by VulkansNodosaurus View Post
In any case, I really need to get back to writing my part of this!
Originally Posted by gothik View Post
will be dealing with the Dark Angels for a while before i go back to this branch....
Both of you are kicking ass! You've made it very difficult to read several stories in the "Shield of Baal" series... crap writing, crap plot, crap 40K context.

As always, keep up the good work!
02-12-15 12:55 AM
gothik or maybe Malcador is planning to transfer his essence into Magnus to take the fight to the Emperor? a thousand and one different thought lines and Malcador is no saint...will be dealing with the Dark Angels for a while before i go back to this branch....
02-09-15 11:55 PM
VulkansNodosaurus Interesting indeed. Malcador's revelation (that it wasn't just an analogue, but the full Book of Genesis) opens three possibilities:

1. The events of Genesis, in some form, really happened in the 40K-verse. This is, of course, the implication. Not sure how much a fan of that I am, because the Abrahamic God clearly doesn't exist in the 40K-verse as an omnipotent being, and connections to real-world religion are not ideal. On the other hand, this allows all sorts of interesting permutations of the story. We don't know, for example, whether the fall of Eden happened in 5000 BC, or in fact in 20000 AD, as people imitated ancient legends. Or perhaps Adam and Eve were not the first humans, but the first human psykers?

2. Malcador really believes this, but he's wrong. After all, he's far from omniscient, and might be slightly insane. Which would be a fitting balance - after all, the Emperor's certainly gone nuts.

3. Malcador's lying, for reasons of his own. Certainly, Malcador wants a Horus victory. But we almost certainly have a billion potential plots bubbling under the surface. Perhaps this is some sort of gambit to ensure - well, even something as simple as Magnus not learning the truth too early, for fear it would corrupt him. Or perhaps he wants a disbelieving Magnus to dig deeper, and uncover something that he could not communicate through Amon. Or perhaps he wants the Imperial spies to learn about this, and the real truth is being subconsciously implanted into Magnus.

In any case, I really need to get back to writing my part of this!
02-08-15 11:11 PM

Magnus came through the gates and almost had a surreal feeling of whizzing through a vortex of clouds and blue skies. It took all he had to keep focused on the task at hand, eventually he found himself on a vast plain. It took a moment for him to adjust to his surroundings and as the scene fitted together like a surreal jigsaw his breath almost caught in his throat.

He had never seen such beauty, not on any world he had visited that had been untouched by pollution, planetary tectonics or weather patterns, or even the effects of the Great Ocean, no before him was the most idyllic scene he had ever envisioned.

“To understand the great secrets, one must look from the beginning”

He whirred round at the voice, so familiar yet so alien to him. A young man strode towards him, olive complexion, athletic of build, handsome. Sandy brown hair and deep blue eyes, the build of a farmer or maybe a shepherd. Yet Magnus knew him, the Psionic signature that had always been a puzzle to him, older than the body it lived in shone like a lone beacon in the dead of the night.


The young man smiled and bowed his head a little “That is a name you would know me as, but this..” he spread his arms to encompass the area they were in. “This is where mankind’s first sin occurred.”

Magnus frowned a little “Where am I? I know I am in Amons mind but are you telling me that I have to witness stages? That could take more time then we have”

“You have all the time in the world Magnus, it will be a long time before you are all ready to defeat what has become of your father.” Malcador clasped his hands behind his back and began to match the Primarchs stride. “And in the beginning god created the universe, isn't that how it went?” Magnus didn't answer him straight away “Oh come now Magnus, I know you have devoured every ancient book from Terra’s vast library.”

Magnus shrugged, conceding the point and stroked the beard that had been growing on his face since he had been crippled.

“So we are back in the days of the creation myth?”

The young man pointed and Magnus gasped as he saw creatures long extinct from Humanities cradle world. Some were grazing, some were hunting the grazers and, as he saw a Lioness take down the gazelle she had been hunting he was amazed, almost in awe of the strength that this creature showed.

That wasn't what the young looking Sigilitte was motioning towards, he gestured again and this time the Crimson King saw a large tree. Larger than any in the surrounding area or indeed larger than perhaps any tree he had ever seen on any world, forest or otherwise.

“Of all the trees in Eden, this was the one that they were forbidden to touch. For to touch the fruit from this tree was a sin, a grave sin. We believed for so long that it was from the one god, but in time we learnt that it was the rules of the beings within the warp, they who had been toying with the very forces of the universe, long before Mankind came down from the trees.”

“So what happened? Not what the myth says but what really happened”

“In order to understand your father, you first have to understand where he came from, what shaped him, what guided him and how he came to be. Then you will be able to find the weakness he possesses, the one chink in his indomitable armour and his fortress mind to defeat him when the time comes.” Malcador folded his arms across his chest “Eve, tempted by the god Tzeentch in the form of a serpent ate from the forbidden tree. We never found out who the one god was, whether he or she was a being from the warp of a benevolent kind or just another renegade, but so incensed was this creature that they banned Eve and Adam from the garden, never to return and through her weakness it was said that mankind would never attain true knowledge, they were not ready to assimilate what had been ordained. For disobeying the one rule, mankind would never know paradise again.”

Magnus had read that and watched as the virtual walls blocked his view of what was paradise in everything from scent to sight and sound.

“How do you know all this?” Magnus wanted to know and began to feel the sensation of being pulled away “Malcador!” He demanded.

As he was pulled back through the memories of Amon Malcadors voice once more echoed in his mind before he came out of Amons memories and into his own body.

“Because they were my parents, I was the man that was called Able and I was a Perpetual”
02-05-15 01:05 AM

The behemoths in black power armour made short work of the PDF barracks, they offered terms for surrender, but the planetary defenders, incensed at the thought that their world was under attack from another legion just fired. The fear coursed through their veins at such a sight, but it fueled their anger instead of making them run.

Even when Bolter’s and plasma tore their bodies apart they spoke the Iron Warriors motto. Better they die as loyal subjects to the Iron Lord then slaves to the Emperor. Corporal Harlan Utenia readied his rocket launcher, the remains of his barracks burning, his medics tending to the wounded. He felt there was no way out for any of them, but he would die fighting, not surrender to these bastards. His face and uniform was covered in blood, some his own, the majority from the dead warriors he fought beside whose bodies were now little pieces across what had been the parade ground.

He tried to make sense of what happened, one moment they were ready to watch the next generation of recruits go to fight for Hera's honour, and honour to the lord of them all, the next the governor, the old lady herself had come skidding up in her car and yelled at everyone to get the fuck down, then explosions.

He glanced around him and with a sigh he steeled himself. Yeah he was scared, he was shit scared, these were Astartes for crying out loud, but this was his home and this was a world loyal to Perturabo, or so he had believed. Rumours had flooded that the Old Lady had been betrayed by members of her senate. That didn't surprise him.

Harlan was not an uneducated man, he had read the old classics, the tales of the old Greco empire on Terra, the old Rommani one too. There was always some greedy noble ready to stab the head of the house in the back. Well they done it good and proper this time. He wished he was in front of them now.

He would wager a months wages they did not expect this wholesale slaughter. He frowned, there was silence, a moment ago he had heard the calls of the medic now there was silence. He readied himself for a quick death and turned only to see not black power amour but the iron wrought armour, and the familiar black chevrons of the Iron Warriors.

He got to his feet, steadied his nerves and saluted smartly “We have many wounded, half the force is dead and there are others holed up in what remains of the barracks My Lord.”

“How many attackers?” the grim voice came from behind the grill.

“A squad of six men here my lord, but reports state they are all over the planet. They have taken several cities and towns and burnt many villages, I do not know how many are dead but it is not looking good.”

“Stand down Harlan, you are relieved, go rest and attend to those under your command.”

“I stand relieved my lord, but we want to fight these bastards”

“The old lady has found the old underground prison take your men and the wounded, I have an escort waiting for you to lead you through the catacombs.”

“I know the way”

“Good you can lead some of my brothers there, we will deal with the Angels.”

“By your will My Lord, Iron Within”

“Iron without” Brother Sergeant Garrat replied and watched as the weary soldier made his way to where the other survivors were waiting. He placed his helm back on and surveyed the scene before him.

He and his company had been ready to leave their monastery here to recruit from neighbouring worlds when the call came in, those words “Dark Angel Rising” it was what they had been expecting, ever since their father had humiliated the Lion and his sons.

This was their revenge was it? Olympia had already been placed on full alert and the largest Iron Warrior force, stationed at the home monastery of the Iron Warriors were already garrisoning their home world and sending reinforcements, but that would still take a few hours, it would be nightfall by the time they got here, so it was down to the 132nd Company to hold out.

His Captain joined his side and he pointed “They are crippling the cities defences, taking prisoners and offering terms of surrender, when none is given they kill. There is one squad in these barracks but that’s not to say there is not another on back up. They have taken down all communications so the citizens cannot call for aid.”

“Good job the old lady sent that message when she did then.” Captain Terosa cast an amused sideways glance at his Sergeant “Take Squad Persius and stay to the shadows, they are going for the PDF HQ, make sure there is a surprise waiting for them”

“Yes Brother Captain.” The young Sargent motioned with his arm and his squad followed.
02-04-15 02:24 AM

The fires swept through the cities, villages and towns of Hera like some enormous fire-storm. The Muster fields had been the first to be attacked and barely half the assembled men, women and children, families watching their loved ones take the oath of allegiance to the Iron Lord, escaped with their lives.

The Governor herself had pulled a group of children into an underground bunker, but she had been unable to save their parents and could only watch as fires consumed flesh and bone, she managed to grab one of her attendants and told them to get the children away from here, through the old catacombs, with any luck they would live to see another day.

She shrugged off any protests that she was too important to loose. She was a soldier, she had always been a soldier and if she were to die, it would not be cowering like some she could mention. Jusile Herosian was going to go down fighting. She could not understand why they had unleashed such a powerful amount of fire-power. There was no need for that, but then again the Dark Angels were not known for their subtlety. The sons of the Lion wanted to make sure that there would be minimal resistance.

As she ran through the blackened and burning streets she collected her men and women along the way, she needed to set up a command position, but the strikes had been effective, all the military communications bunkers had been taken out in the first waves and now she saw the airfields suffering the same fate.

Thunderhawks rolled onto their sides, troop carrier planes were exploding, figures covered in fire and promethium fell screaming from the doors. Her people were dying there was no two ways about this. The smell of charred flesh even made her gag and she had to stop for a moment to make sure she was not about to be sick.

“Too long away from a battlefield” She muttered more to herself, not that anyone would have heard her, the screams of terror and the explosions drowned out anything she said.

She motioned with her hand and the squad following her immediately ducked down a side street. Giants in black power armour marched through the dying city, their pauldrons displaying the winged sword motif of the Dark Angels.

Herosian cursed in her native language several times and used words that had some of her companions arching an eyebrow.

“What did she say?” A young boy, no more than maybe 19 wearing a uniform of a private.

“Lets just say, she was doubting the parentage of those bastards” A man beside him wearing a uniform with Sargent’s stripes replied “Now be quiet”

Herosian pulled at a grate and with the aid of the Sargent and another man managed to move it silently and drop down into the old network of tunnels that ran under the city and had long ago been abandoned.

A century ago these catacombs were used to transport prisoners across to the penal settlements. They had been abandoned when Perturabo offered those criminals places on his vessels as crew men, he had also offered them a chance to join the army of Olympia as a penal regiment, they had to earn their freedom, he never took any to become his sons, he did not want the same element to enter the Iron Warriors that seemed to have entered the Night Lords.

A very cautious man their lord, and Herosian had found him to be noble and a Primarch she would gladly lay her life down for. He remembered every face of every person he had ever met, he remembered their names and where they had served or worked. In fact when her own son and nephew had been accepted into the ranks of the Iron Warriors he had written to her personally.

She still recalled those words and they came back to her now.

“I will be their father and their guide, but never forget Jusile that one of them is from your blood and the other came from you. If they have half the fire their mother/aunt had when she was commander of my Siege Breakers, I will be a very lucky father indeed”

She felt her pride swore once more, if it had felt like flagging in the face of such monstrous opponents, it seemed to shrug off. Her Lord was not with her physically, but he was there in spirit. She prayed that the old Wardens office was still under here, that there was a working communications system that would allow her to rally her forces.

She cursed the ministers that betrayed their world, they thought with their egos and not with the reality. They wanted power, the power over an Iron Warriors colony world. A world of the mother world. She shook her head, there was no way that Perturabo would let this sit, he would not allow a world of his fall to any Legion, let alone the Emperor, curse his name.

She let her people rest for quarter of an hour, mainly so she could get her bearings. Then with renewed strength and energy she began to run once more, with twenty people behind her, she was glad that she was not alone.
02-01-15 08:52 PM
gothik many thanks
02-01-15 05:54 PM
Myen'Tal I'm a little late in reading these stories, I realize there are things that are already going on in this story, but I wanted to say that I am enjoying this one . Interesting take on Horus Heresy alternate history, I like the Senator loyal to Perturabo, and can't wait to see what part she plays. Looking forward to more!
02-01-15 02:05 PM

The Angelicasta.

The home of the First Legion and the seat of all power on Caliban. In the absence of its most high lord and master it was ruled by his Seneschal, Luther. Before it was the seat of The Order, Luther was the leader until he found the young man who would become the mighty Primarch of the First,

Around him were housed the trophies of not just The Orders victories, but the Dark Angels too. Once he had been a normal man, extraordinary perhaps, one of the best Knights of his order and respected for his prowess and love of the human spark, the tenacity that had allowed mankind to thrive on the planet that was both home and death to the people that called Caliban their cradle world.

Luther was a tall well built man, even for a human, when he had come across the almost feral youth in the harsh jungles of Caliban, he saw immediately that he was different, he took him in and the two became fast friends, best friends, brothers. Luther was too old to become a Space Marine, and besides he, as well as the Lion knew that someone like Luther being elevated to the ranks of the Astartes would not bode well. Luther snorted a little, because that turned out so well for Kor Phaeron.

No, he would not become an Astartes, but he became more than human. Lion had persuaded his father to allow his mentor to become somewhere in-between, not enough to become an Astartes but enough to grant Luther the strength and abilities of an Astartes, to enable them to assault the very heavens in the name of the Emperor and the First Legion. What war they had raged and what glories they had won.

Then things changed.

He wasn't sure what had changed or when they changed but they had, and once his brother returned from Terra nothing was the same. The Primarchs altercation with the father of the Iron Warriors had resulted in a recall to the Imperial Palace. What had transpired there Luther could only guess at, but the Lion had returned a changed man. Driven, ambitious and ruthless, more than he had already been. But it had been tempered by his desire to protect Mankind and the people that lived here.

Now it was driven by an almost insane desire to prove to his father, the most powerful man in existence, that he was worthy of whatever apotheosis awaited him when this was all over. He had been returned to Caliban, to oversee the future of the Dark Angels, but more and more, those that expressed caution at this turn of events were returned here. Some saw it as their duty to teach the next generation, others like the two Astartes that were in the room with him saw something more.

Master Zaherial El'Zurias, the master of Librarians here on the Angelicasta and one who had seen the arrival and rise of the Lion within the Order and who had stopped an assassination upon the Emperor of Mankind himself. Although he had met the Emperor, he would not remember it, for he had been a normal mortal then, the sight of such a being would drive them insane. The Emperor had seen something within the young man, a potential and thus Zaherial's “gift” was trained, honed and now he was respected within the First Legion, although his penchant for plain speaking had not garnered him any favours with the Primarch, and hiding an attempt on the life of the Primarch himself at the hands of the Seneschal perhaps did not help.

Despite it being turned into Luther and Zaherial had saved the Lions life, the Primarch had in effect exiled Luther, Zaherial and Zaherial's company to Caliban.

Beside the Librarian, stood the imposing Terran born Chapter Master Merir Astelan, highly decorated and the veteran of many battles before the coming of the Lion and after. Astelan had already seen the rot as he called it begin to set in. His command had been overruled by a Caliban born Commander named Belath, it had become more and more apparent to him that, unlike other Legions where the Terran born sons were treated as equals, the Dark Angels were starting to become more and more exclusively Caliban, it was as if the Primarch did not want reminders of the cradle world and saw no place in his plans for the future of the old guard.

Of course this was never spoken, such words would cause a schism in the ranks, something that no one wanted, and Astelan was almost certain that this was the Primarchs version of the cleansing, not putting those he was certain would not follow him where he could keep an eye on them. In theory, but now he had been away from the Angelicasta for over a year, and Luther was starting to get concerned.

He turned from the window that afforded him a few over the entire monastery and to the forests beyond. There was something stirring on Caliban, something within its ancient plates and it did not feel right. Merir would not truly understand it. Like others from the world of mankind’s birth he would not fathom how Caliban worked. Zaherial, however did, and as he met the steady gaze of the Librarian his concerns were mirrored in eyes.

“Something is wrong,” Luther finally spoke, “There’s a storm coming”

“You think its time?” Zaherial asked.

“We need to do something, we need to protect the Legion but from who or what I have no idea” Luther took his seat a weariness settling upon him.

Sometimes he almost wished he had been allowed to die of natural causes, or in battle against one of the beasts of the jungle, this was not how he wanted to see the universe grow.

“Will you two stop talking mumbo jumbo and tell me what you are going on about in plain speak” Merir snarled.

Zaherial folded his arms across his robes. His bearded features not hiding his handsome face or his bright eyes. His hair tied up into a top knot. “We are going to have to decide whether to follow the direction of the Emperor or, strike out on our own”

“Go against the Emperor?” Astelan sounded taken aback “We are the First, his First, we do as he wills.”

“All well and good, but our Primarch is acting on his own whims and desires” Zaherial shook his head “Any that disagree with him end up here, or...” his voice trailed and he felt Luthers hand on his shoulder, the Seneschal gave him a comforting pat.

“Something I have missed?”

“Nemial disagreed with the Primarch quite vocally and was executed by the Primarch.”

Astelans jaw dropped, a Primarch executing a loyal son? Nemial had always looked up to the Primarch, almost hero worshipped him. The Chapter Master sat himself down and ran his hand down his face.

“My sorrows for your loss brother” He directed it to Zaherial, the closeness of the cousins and their occasional rivalry was well known, a source of great tales within the barracks. “So what do you suggest Seneschal?”

Luther shook his head “We start to make plans, plans that will ensure the integrity of the First Legion, as she was meant to be, not what they want us to be. Even if there are a few of us we will be the First, true to its original calling, not what it will become if we let this charade continue”


“For now Merir, we watch over our brothers, any who show signs of – whatever, this malady is afflicting the Emperor, Primarch's and their Legions – then we isolate them,” Luther regarded his two closest advisor’s “And when the Primarch returns, we will try and free him off this...obsession of his and hopefully find the true Lion El'Jonson, and bring him back to us.”
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