The Sons of Stan
-"To be a man in such times is to be alive in the darkest age imaginable. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.I'm telling you, man, this is a really shitty time to be alive!" -Primarch Stan Walkowski
In the distant past, the God-Emperor of Mankind created the Legions of Space Marines to serve as his warriors amongst the stars. Genetically engineered super-humans, each legion was amongst the greatest Human warriors to ever walk the stars. Alike in equipment and united in a belief of Mankind's inherent superiority, each legion nevertheless possessed unique traits and outlooks on life. These outlooks invariably represented different facets of Humanity itself; the nobility of the Ultramarines, the constant searching for higher knowledge of the Thousand Sons, the desire for perfection exhibited by the Emperor's Children. These traits were even more obvious in the Primarchs of the Legion, who came to almost totally embody the values espoused by their own gene-seed children.
Upon creating the Primarchs, however, the Emperor discovered that he had left one single Human trait unaccounted for; common sense.
This oversight had undoubtedly been caused by one of His multiple alcohol-induced benders (one of which lasted a full twenty-eight days, and ended only when concerned passers-by decided to call a space cab for the ten-foot tall man in the gutter) Realizing his mistake only after the other Primarchs had been whisked away by the dread forces of Chaos, the Emperor quickly set to work on creating a Primarch who would think clearly, not allow emotion to cloud his judgment, get along with other people and not start fights with them for no reason, and find WWE to be only mildly entertaining (unlike most of the other Primarchs, especially Leman Russ) On top of this, at the last minute Malcador the Sigilite suggested that the Emperor make sure that this Primarch would also not start an interstellar war that would cripple Humanity and doom it to ten thousand years of steady decay and misery simply because he had daddy issues. Though the Emperor at first saw no reason for this ("That is one of the most retarded things I've ever heard anyone say, ever") he finally relented after Malcador nagged at him enough.
And so, Stan Walkowski was born. He quickly proved to be an effecient warrior, the equal of many of his brothers, but possessing the one trait that they lacked; common sense. When his friends pissed him off, he would talk to them and figure out the problem (and typically have a big laugh) as opposed to throwing that friendship away and murdering them. He easily found solutions to problems that didn't involve violence; when the Emperor ordered him and his Sons to attack and destroy a rebelling colony on the planet Ypsilanti, Stan quickly deduced that their rebellion was quite simply due to a frustration over taxation laws that had nearly bankrupted the local economy. Using his knowledge of planetary government and macro-economics, Stan was able to devise a new tax code which was much easier for the locals to understand, as well as establishing several laws which ensured that the people were more ably represented in Imperial governance. Though the Emperor was furious, saying that he'd "wanted to see some shit blow the fuck up," Stan reminded him that it was his job to do this sort of thing, and for the Emperor to "stop being such a fuckwad, dad."
Before the Heresy began, it was Stan who tried in vain to stem the tide. He saw the doom of the galaxy approaching; not because he had the power of prophecy, but because any idiot with access to interstellar communication could figure out that all of the super-powerful war gods in the galaxy were heading towards some kind of confrontation. As Stan told in the Emperor (as recorded in the holy Book of No-Shit Sherlock), "You've got a bunch of stupid jocks in charge of your greatest warriors. They're running around the galaxy, traveling through the Warp and by the way, there are all-powerful gods out there that want to corrupt their immortal soul. Wouldn't a heads up be appropriate?" As usual, the Emperor told Stan that He had a divine plan, the likes of which no one, not even a Primarch, could fully understand. Also, he had always been a disappointment due to not trying out for the high school football team, and should stop being such a pussy.
Realizing that nothing he was doing could stop what was coming, Stan and his Sons left the Imperium, disappearing one night into their mighty battle barge (which Stan actually owned, and had bought with his own money, unlike the battle barges of the other Primarchs, which the Emperor had bought for them) In a rage, the Emperor ordered the others to never speak of Stan, until he either return in person to apologize, or re-Friend the Emperor on Facebook.
The Sons of Stan did what they could during the Heresy, trying to stop the tide of Chaos. When the dust finally settled, and the Imperium was set on the path it is still on today, Stan decided to do what he did best; use the holy wrath of common sense to protect the Imperium from its enemies. Stan is the only loyal Primarch to still be alive and operating with his legion.
The Sons of Stan, while no longer recognized or known as an official Space Marine chapter, are one of the few Chapters to use camoflauge. Their power armor changes color to reflect the environment around them, because even though power armor is powerfully protective, Stan believes that "like Mr. Miagi says, 'best block is to no be there, Daniel-san.'"
Also, the Sons of Stan are the only known chapter to use load-bearing gear (such as tactical ceramite vests) to carry their equipment; unlike the other Chapters, which have no visible means of carrying magazines, ammunition, grenades and medical kits into battle. The Sons of Stan also utilize bolters that have been heavily modified by adding a buttstock, so that the Marines can actually aim at their targets instead of just standing there and blazing away one-handed.
BATTLE PHILOSOPHY, TACTICS AND RELIGIOUS PREFERENCES TO FOLLOW.-
I'm actually going to attempt and create a 'Sons of Stan' army, IE a Space Marine army wearing LBEs with camo, bolters that have buttstocks, etc. Soon as I get started I'll post some pics over in the Hobby section.
"In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war, an eternity of slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods. I'm telling you man, this is a really shitty time to be alive." -Primarch Stan Wolkowski, Sons of Stan