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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-02-16, 08:34 PM Thread Starter
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Default how decent is this? (The II legion dissappereance)

I actually just wrote this since someone asked what you do if you were one of the lost primarches, what side would you pick for the hersey? I kinda went over board but was cursoity how well it was creative wise or is it stupid? would it fit into the fluff at all or hell no? lol I don't mind creative constructive criticism.

Lets see....If Nilus Pentis was Primarch

he prob be best friends with Mortarion, Fulgrim
He be friendly with Vulkan,Rogal and Ferrus and Roboute
He be friendly with Horus, Sanguinius, Magnus and Lorgar,the Lion, Vulken Lorgar and Konrad to an extent
He be indifferent to Angron, Corax, Jaghatai, and Perturabo, Alpharius and Omegon
He hates Lemon for destroying half of his legion

Nilus Pentis was found on Ingros, raised by nobility and despite no one liking him, tried constantly to remove him by the nobility and the Church, he Became a Knight of the Empire, proved himself to be a Knight Commander and eventual Warlord of Ingros after the Empire betrayed him and tied to destroy him and his men. Following unification of 20 years after Ingros was transformed into an Kingdom with Nilus Pentis ruling with his "political wife" Queen Nellia, the golden fleets of the Emperor arrived and the Emperor was welcomed however when The Kingdom of Ingros was asked to bow before the Emperor and the Imperium, Nilus Pentis disagreed and didn't budge and only after a three day long debate between the Emperor and Nilus did Nilus Give the Emperor the chance by challenging him to an honour duel to which the Emperor did. The Duel was vicious and brutal as entire regions were destroyed and entire mountain ranges flattened. After three weeks, both surrendered as one could not out best the other and in respect for the Emperor's strength and wisedom, Nilus kneeled before the Emperor with his Relic Power claymore inhand vowed to the Emperor he would serve the Emperor until the End times with the best of his abilities. The Emperor rejoiced and gave him command of the II legion, formly called the Warp hunters due to the II legion specializing in hunting physic/pykers and warp users due to Nilus having a mutation of the psychic Blank trait . Nilus disliked the name and renamed them the Phantom Knights with the II legion quickly falling into Ingros customs, becoming Knights of chivalry with there psychic blank abilities.

Although small in size compared to other legions only having 7,000 Legionnaires during the early stages of the Great Crusade, the Phantom Knights were highly known and respected to assault entire worlds with with physkers and chaos corrupted worlds where all were destroyed however unlike most legions would move on, the Phantom Knights like the Ultramarines would civilize the worlds they conquered and made sure they had defenses before leaving once more. Most still stand today as highly technical Feudal Worlds that pay the Protection of the Ultramarines and are known to produce quality aspirants to the ultramarines. Nilus eventualy asked Roboute to have the Ultramarines watch over the worlds that the Phantom knights had conquered since they could protect themselves due to there size. Roboute agreed with the condition of the worlds supply the Ultramarines which Nilus agreed.

almost about mid way though the crusade, the Phantom Knights had risen to 31,000 Legionnaires and as a result, they became more crucial to the crusade as Nilus himself would led his sons into the harshest battles of Chaos as the Vanguards of the Imperium. The Phantom Knights became known for being highly skilled vanguards in close combat with power sword, relic blades and thunder hammers. However after such heavy fighting being led by there primarch, there power armor had worn out so bad, some astartes were forced to wear Mark I thunder Armor in ground combat. With this Nilus sent his most skilled techmarines to mars where with the help of the Adeptus Mechanicus, the devised the Mark Nulla Excalibur armor(Later renamed the Phantom Mark armor by the Ultramarines in honour and remembrance of the Phantom Knights) which designed to be less protective then other marks but the user extremely lightweight and with a dozen new features built in the armor, made the suit extremely effective in refined close quarters combat. The most advanced and notable feature was the Burst system in the helmet where activated, a machine would alters the user's brain and bring the user enter into a state of enhanced awareness and peak physical ability. While in this state, the Legionnaire demonstrates heightened reflexes and extremely quick information processing where they go far beyond there mental and physical(not strength wise though)limits. This ability is usually triggered by will by Astartes who have heavily meditated before battle so they don't lose control or by untently by extreme combat situations or from recalling significant traumas, often triggered to protect a vital position from overwhelming odds, to destroy a powerful enemy or failing to protect a brother who had died. Due to it's extremely complexity and the costs, the Mark Nulla Excalibur armor became rare in the Imperium with only three legions ever gaining the suits as it went almost completely unnoticed. The Emperor's Children received a few due to Fulgrims relation to Nilus and the Ultramarines received a dozen or more due to the Phantom Knights and the Ultramarines pact while the Phantom Knights received most of the suits. About one hundred and twenty years into the Great Crusade, Roughly half of the Phantom Knights were equipped with the Mark Nulla Excalibur armor When the Great Battle accured which there numbers had risen to 36,000.

By this time Nilus had met his brothers and friended most of them however most of them held Nilus in a mixed bag seeing him a stubborn Paragon Knight with his own agenda or a Chivalric knight bound to fall to chaos due to him wanting to gain honours on the field of battle. During this time the Phantom Knights had been dealing operations with the Ultramarines where the Phantom Knights would conquer the worlds directly for the Ultramarines who in return civilize the world and protect them before leaving however following quick liberation of Alanka the Phantom Knights left for Torionis quickly while the Ultramarines which to there surprised was forced into a trench war as the survivors of the Orks had repopulated quicker then usual after landing and holding down the settlements for a few months. By the time word was reached to the Phantom Knights that the Ultramarines were need in aid, they had already besieged Torionis. Torionis was controlled by the Skaviri (imangine humanlike banshees), a humanoid warrior race, possibly abhumans who spend there lifetime mastering the art of the sword and the art of war. As a result The Phantom knights and the Skaviri entered a brutal war as intense battles arosed on Torionis as both forces became equal in combat with the sword, only when did Chapter Masters or Nilus himself arrived and fought on the front did complete victory. After four months of fighting, the Phantom Knights while killing thousands of the Skaviri, they themselves lost 5,000 legionnaires in the fighting and was the first battle in which they had lost this many legionnaires. Nilus entered meditation for two weeks and when he exited, Nilus and the Phantom Knights with the threat there entire legion might be destroyed and with respect for the humanoid species who can fight them on near equal footing combat decided make temporary peace with the Skaviri which they happily agreed to. The Phantom Knights then built a fortress on Torionis to keep the peace and hold out long enough for the Ultramarines to arrive. Eventually some Phantom Knights entered there society to better understand there way of combat as it matched the legions own combat techniques and eventually by the time the Ultramarines arrived a year later, almost the entire Phantom Knight Legion was changed as there power armor was more slopped, most brothers adopted the use of a single handed or a double handed curved power swords(basically katanas) forged by Skaviri technique's which resulted in more powerful power swords argumented with flames able to cut through any metal and they even accepted there style of sword combat on making the sword an extension of the user's body.

When the Ultramarines arrived finally after a year, they were horrified that the Phantom Knights allied themselves with Xenos, Roboute himself demanded the Phantom Knights to leave the planet and purge the alien threat however the Phantom knights declined as they wished to learn all what the Skaviri learned in the forms of combat. Roboute decided not to destroy the Phantom Knights but return to Terra to report directly to the Emperor of the situation. When the Emperor was told of the situation, the Emperor was saddened to hear such a thing from a son that he commit hersey but wouldn't believe it until he saw himself. New spread like wildfile to the other Legions of what had transpired between the Phantom Knights and the Emperor coming to Torionis himself. When the Emperor did finally arrive on Torionis and saw his Astartes with the Skaviri, he was sicken to how far they had fallen and when he entered the Spire keep in the middle of the Skaviri capital, the Emperor demanded to know why Nilus had not destroyed the xeno threat and conquered the planet. Nilus explained his legion had taken a large set of casualities but unlike the other xeno species, they were a civilized race that had the prowers to match his own legion with inferior and both respected each other's strength and wished to learn there ways of battle to improve there own combat abilities. After a week long debate, The Emperor left Torionis disappointed and saddened that he couldn't change his son's mind of hersey. Nilus Believed in humanity should control the galaxy however that doesn't mean every sentient life either xeno or human should be destroyed and firmly believed the Skaviri could be excellent troops in the Imperium but the Emperor wanted nothing to do with that. The Emperor return to Terra depressed as he couldn't kill his one of his more favoured sons so he summoned Lemon Russ to Terra and ordered him to destroy the Phantom Legion on Torionis. Lemon hesitated at first but agreed seeing humanity and Xeno couldnt work together.

The Space Wolves led by Lemon Russ quickly traveled to Torionis where the Great Battle began as they bombarded the cities from orbit and eventually landed on the planet to assault the capital where the Phantom Legion clashed with the Space Wolves. By the end of the fighting, nearly half of the Phantom Knight Legion was killed while the Phantom Knights had killed 45,000 of the Space Wolves. Nilus Pentis and Lemon Russ battled each other not seen Nilus himself fought the Emperor as the entire capital was destroyed by there duel eventually Nilus got the upperhand and forced Lemon Russ to fall back. As half of his Legion Destroyed by the Space Wolves and now considered herectics, He and the rest of the Phantom Knights fled Torionis with elements of the Skaviri and warped to unknown space while the Space Wolves were weakened. Although Nilus and the Phantom Knights were considered herectics by the Emperor himself, they were still loyal to him and would prove there loyality once more to them. Leaving to unknown space, Nilus Pentis and the Phantom knights entered a self-penitent crusade in hopes one day the Emperor would forgive them.

(thinking of changing this to Imperial Fists since the Ultramarines weren't on Terra during the battle)
When word that the Horus Hersey accured, the Phantom Legion briefly entered Imperial Space during the closing of the Horus Hersey and pleaded to Roboute to allow them to aid them in the defense of Terra. After Much Consideration, Roboute agreed so Nilus Pentis Sent 10,000 Legionnaires for Terra under the guise of Ultramarines who had painted and decorated there armor Ultramarine blue, discarded there Legion symbol and decorations and wore the Ultramarine badge and the Imperial Aquila. There is presumed they had died fighting in the defense of the Imperium. The remaining Phantom Legion and there fleet then departed once more to the unknown parts of space in there enternal penitent crusade in hoping receiving the Emperor's Forgivines. Nilus Pentis last words to Roboute

"Brother I must leave now for the unknown voids of space to prove to you,my brothers and the Emperor that I am loyal to the Emperor and the Imperium and pehaps one day if he shall forgive me and the Knights of Phantoms. We shall return for when the End Times come just as I vowed for the emperor when he declaired me his son. Farewell brother."

"I am Honored to call every single one of you my brother.....You will die today, I will die today but if we must die for the greater good of humanity so be it. With our deaths, our children will blossom into the stars with the Primarches of anew and start a new, grander crusade in the name of the Emperor and as the Emperor's chosen, we will guide them to that path......Show them the true fury of the Emperor's wraith one last time my brothers!.....Forward in the name of the Emperor and may you find salvation with the Emperor when the end comes for you.

- Chapter Master Nilus Pentis of the Ultra Hawks,
00.? 42M, Second battle of Terra
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-03-16, 02:54 PM
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Some thoughts :

Primarch having a wife? I don't know how to say it but that's quite problematic, sexuality of Primarchs or even Astartes haven't been explored really but even then its kinda assumed that they are asexual.

Nilus actually drawed with Emperor, I find that hard to believe.

II was fighting chaos pre-heresy? But Imperium didn't knew about existence of Chaos except for Emperor, Malcador and other very few. Not even Primarchs knew about them.

An entire legion made up of blanks? But blanks are extremely extremely rare, it will be really really tough for them to maintain any sizable force if they only recruit blanks.

45,000 dead Space Wolves? That's just too many, SW are already considered one of the smallest legions, that sort of loss will be almost crippling. And seeing this sort of poor performance, I doubt they will be ever tasked to bring any other legion down (Magnus and thousand sons).

Ultramarines were never on Terra during the battle of Terra, so how can they fight under the guise of Ultramarines? And IF are basically loyalty incarnated in flesh, I doubt they will ever allow a legion labeled as traitor by Emperor himself to join their ranks.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-03-16, 04:46 PM Thread Starter
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you make some good points, most of whom you were right

time to explain lol

The political wife is just that, he married a important woman just to help run the planet and make himself look good in the public eye, there's no sex or anything like that, He cares about her but not in a romantic way, more like space marines cares about there battle brothers. Besides am sure any primarch would rather be on the front leading in the great crusade then sit around and rule a planet lol

As for there duel, I kinda wanted to do something that would Mind F*** the reader lol I was going to have him lose like some of the other primarches but I didn't want to do the same thing as them or just swear locality to him right away.

As for Chaos, you are right def on that one but we know nothing of the two unknown Primarches, it is said somewhere one of the lost primarches were invisible whether literally or a blank is unknown, we prob never know. I decided to go with the idea that the Emperor designed a primarch to directly counter Chaos and since this primarch was a artificial blank, his SM would be blanks. Now I know like you said there rare and often unstable, that's why I went with a small legion and for most of there
life they are small, its not until midway of the great crusade due to they getting a somewhat decent number and by then they get f**** by the space wolves.

for 45,000 I guess you were right, I'd imagined that number because they assaulted a world that was fortified and had a xeno race(basically samurai lol) on par in close combat with SM so I thought the Phantom Knights and the Skaviri would give them a advantage number wise and half of the Phantom Knights equipped with advanced armor and power swords would help but I can see how 45,000 might be a bit much. I thought half of both legions would kill each other off for the most part overall though.
The Phantom Knights are basically Grey Knights and the Space Wolves are just regular space marines If there's anything.

As for the Ultramarines, you were right, I only used them because I believed Roboute would be the only one to believe him and accept his help to defend the Palace. I was thinking of instead asking Rogal and have them under the guise of the Imperial Fist since that would make sense or just have them sent to Terra wearing black armor with no chapter symbol or identification marks besides the Imperial Equila showing them loyal? is that better?

"I am Honored to call every single one of you my brother.....You will die today, I will die today but if we must die for the greater good of humanity so be it. With our deaths, our children will blossom into the stars with the Primarches of anew and start a new, grander crusade in the name of the Emperor and as the Emperor's chosen, we will guide them to that path......Show them the true fury of the Emperor's wraith one last time my brothers!.....Forward in the name of the Emperor and may you find salvation with the Emperor when the end comes for you.

- Chapter Master Nilus Pentis of the Ultra Hawks,
00.? 42M, Second battle of Terra
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-03-16, 09:36 PM
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Just one small point : in "The First Heretic", Argel Tal witnesses the arrival of every Traitor Primarch upon their respective planets when they were just babies kidnapped by the Ruinous Powers. And he sees them in ascending order regarding their Legion number.

The first one comes before Fulgrim (IIIrd Legion). He has dark hair, like the armour that his Legion will wear.

So, it would mean that the 2nd Primarch was intended to be a Traitor, when the 11th, not (the visions directly go from Curze to Angron).

Now, nothing states that those visions are the reality, as Ingethel just wanted to trick the Word Bearers into Chaos. But it's one of the most likely clues we have about the two lost Primarchs.

The Serrated Flame : a First Heretics army

- Primordial Truth is Humanity's only salvation -
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-04-16, 12:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Final Frontier View Post
The Phantom Knights are basically Grey Knights and the Space Wolves are just regular space marines If there's anything.
Not much of a fan of the sons of Fenris are you? I don't think I have ever heard the Wolves described as just regular space marines before.

A few things you might consider-

As it was pointed out before blanks are very, very rare. They also have another downside - they are unconsciously distrusted, viewed with disgust, and avoided in any sort of social interaction by 'normal' humans. The stronger the untouchable, the stronger the feeling for normal humans that they just don't want to be around them to the point of actually being violent towards the blank to rid themselves of the blank's presence. Blanks, on the other hand, find it very hard to relate to the rest of humanity. They just cannot 'connect' with others. Blanks are basically described like they are that creepy guy at the party that just says the wrong thing at the wrong time and everyone avoids like the plague. I can only imagine what a primarch who was a blank would be viewed like, much like the Night Haunter I would imagine. Broken, dangerous, distrusted.

The explanation of this is that all living things are 'connected' to the warp and thus share a sense of connection to each other. A sixth sense so to say. Blanks not only completely lack this connection, the stronger ones actually cast a shadow in the warp around them. This innately causes that 'must be a serial killer' feeling when blanks are near other humans.

It seems that you want the Legion to be like the Grey Knights as well, but the key point to the Grey Knights is their psy-abilities allow the members of the squads to link together, to share their thoughts and power between each other and thus are stronger because of that link. A Legion of astartes that were blanks would not have this bond to draw upon in order to make them a Grey Knight like fighting force. The question of if blanks can even stand each other is one that I have not seen really touched on.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-04-16, 06:27 AM
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Did anypne else have a rectangle advert blocking out most of Iron Circle's first comments? Very annoying

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Check out my 40K 'Epic' about the Hunted verses the Inquisition: https://www.heresy-online.net/forums/...98#post2184698

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-04-16, 07:31 AM Thread Starter
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well there similier to the grey knights, not like them exactly, I was just using them as an example, There are specialized elite legion of sorts compared to other legions due to what that they. Its kinda hard for me to describe, sorry. They play a similer role but don't function the same as the Grey Knights.

As for blanks, I couldn't say but the Primarch is a blank and all his astartes are blank, id see them overlooking them not liking each other since there serving the emperor. I never really explained what goes on in the legion or there organization works. This was originally just a what if scenario if I was a primarch lol

"I am Honored to call every single one of you my brother.....You will die today, I will die today but if we must die for the greater good of humanity so be it. With our deaths, our children will blossom into the stars with the Primarches of anew and start a new, grander crusade in the name of the Emperor and as the Emperor's chosen, we will guide them to that path......Show them the true fury of the Emperor's wraith one last time my brothers!.....Forward in the name of the Emperor and may you find salvation with the Emperor when the end comes for you.

- Chapter Master Nilus Pentis of the Ultra Hawks,
00.? 42M, Second battle of Terra
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 02-07-16, 03:55 PM Thread Starter
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Would it be acceptable for to return in 41M with the end times?

"I am Honored to call every single one of you my brother.....You will die today, I will die today but if we must die for the greater good of humanity so be it. With our deaths, our children will blossom into the stars with the Primarches of anew and start a new, grander crusade in the name of the Emperor and as the Emperor's chosen, we will guide them to that path......Show them the true fury of the Emperor's wraith one last time my brothers!.....Forward in the name of the Emperor and may you find salvation with the Emperor when the end comes for you.

- Chapter Master Nilus Pentis of the Ultra Hawks,
00.? 42M, Second battle of Terra
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