You've really taken this to another level in the artwork and fluff! Thinking about Tyreal's suggestion about who you could have as the chapter nemeses and where you took the background fluff, I'd offer the following:
1. Have the two chaos warbands first found fighting on Namted be the Black Legion and the Iron Warriors. Since you're an Imperial Fists successor chapter, both of those legions have special places of hatred to any follower of Dorn and explain the ongoing chaos incursions into the system. The Iron Warriors provide the perfect nemesis to your Emperor's Shields, constantly trying new siege tactics to get through your outstanding defenses for the coveted prize of the ancient forge. Or...
2. Your fluff, as written, suggests that your chapter killed a large band of the Fallen on the planet Namted and in the Divine Forge, in line with your original concept of being a Dark Angels successor chapter. If you maintain that, then don't you think the Dark Angels would be a little pissed/envious that your little warband aced a whole bunch of their deepest darkest shame? So pissed, in fact, that they bear special emnity toward you for possibly knowing just how tainted the Dark Angels and all their successor chapters might be... not that you actually do know, but just the threat of you having that knowledge would blow their minds... or you could take this the other way and you've been the Dark Angel's BFFs since removing so many of their Fallen breathren, with a pinky promise to never ever ever tell anyone, and a willingness to aid their cause.
Oh, and considering your chapter's defensive nature, it would be appropriate if the Namted system were in the Cadian Gate area... another reason why you get the Black Legion incursions on top of the Iron Warriors. Heck, you could have been the reason several of the Black Crusades failed - your incredible defensive nature being the last line that was held. This would also be a good justification for keeping so many of your resources constantly close to the home system. Also would increase the street cred of your IG contingent your developing.
Your artwork ranks with the best fan-art I've seen and the depth you've added to the legion is pretty incredible. Keep up the great work and I hope you choose to share some of the adventures/battles your chapter endures in your gaming.
The White Zone is for loading and unloading only. If you have to load, or if you have to unload, go to the White Zone. You'll love it... it's a way of life.
: Cigarettes in space?
: It's the final frontier, Nick.
: But wouldn't they blow up in an all oxygen environment?
: Probably. But it's an easy fix. One line of dialogue. 'Thank God we invented the... you know, whatever device.'
Last edited by Over Two Meters Tall!; 01-31-13 at 07:07 PM.