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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 08:35 AM Thread Starter
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ork related jokes

heres one to start

3 orks are walking along breaking things when they come to a waterslide with a deamon of chaos there. they stop and the deamon says: what ever you yell out while going down the slide will appear at the bottom for you.

the first ork says ok and slides down and in the middle he yells out "lotza Beer!" sure enough there are 2 barrels of beer at the bottom. he happily wanders off with one under each arm.

the 2nd ork yells "lotza teef!" (ork money) and sure enough there is "lotza teef" at the bottom. he wanders off thinking he is a pure genius because with the teef he can buy lotza beer instead of just wishing for beer.

the final ork is immensely stupid. even for an ork. so as he slides down the slide.


the dbz fan!
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 09:05 AM
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a orks walks into a bar. the bartender is human and has never seen an orks before so craps his pants and two S.W.A.T teams and almost the entire FBI are sent to kill him.

get it?

95% of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are part of the 5% that would yell "DO A FLIP!!!"
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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 09:27 AM
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Lol. Yeah Lupercal101, I got it, though I think it might have worked better with a commisar or something.

You ever hear about the one about an intelligent Ork? No? Oh, wait-that's right, that never happend...

What do orks say when they go on a roller-coaster?

"You doubt my loyalty to the God-Emperor? How dare you accuse me of consorting with Daemons!"
- Crimson Fists

Pedro, once the most feared Daemon in the Warp, why not drop in and say hi to the retired Daemon and his mates?
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 09:56 AM
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Its green and overly aggresive...

a green wrestler...

what? you thought it was an ork?


Please have a look at my space marines.

Lord Bane says: "Keep your water bill low, drink more beer!"

My girlfriend said she didn't like Daft Punk. She's single now. Hahahahahaha lol, just kidding. She's dead...
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 10:47 AM
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An Eldar, a space marine and an orc walk down the road, suddenly a demon appears before them.

'Think only truth, lest ye be destroyed!'

The Eldar thinks 'My race is the eldest of races, hence we are the most intelligent'.. and passes.

The Space Marine thinks 'I am a superhuman soldier, dedicated to ridding the universe of any threat against the emperor.'... and passes.

The orc thinks... AND GOES SPLAT!

TKE's NTGU Brigade
Originally Posted by Winterous View Post
Einar is right.
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 12:05 PM
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How many Gretchin are needed to change a light bulb?

Dunno... the BigMek is still scewing in the first on.
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Sebi View Post
How many Gretchin are needed to change a light bulb?
I would've gone with: Dunno... as soon as the SAG Mek comes to hand them the bulb, they run.

Originally Posted by Lucio View Post
Camo is the color of cowardice but if the only ones to call you a coward are now a puddle of plasma there isnt a problem.
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 04:42 PM
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Orc Boyz - If they aren't solving all your problems, you simply aren't using enough.

If Orks can turn asteroids into ships by sticking engines to one end and a cockpit to the other, then can they make a "Deff Star" out of a planet?

If the Tyranids consumed every Ork, would we have green Carnifexes with Big Klaws screaming WAAAGH!!! at you?

The fool, the coward, and the ignorant proclaim that the warp is a realm of unknowable peril and indescribable terror, that it is the hell of countless ancient myths and legends. This is a lie, told by those whose authority is based on lies, to keep the masses terrified of the unknown. The warp is limitless power and its secrets are infinite; it is knowledge and strength, life and death, and the untapped potential to make and remake worlds. It takes only the discipline and the will to shape it; those who lack that clarity of purpose are liable to be shaped by it instead.

- Ahzek Ahriman of the Thousand Sons
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 07:01 PM
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The Orks are entrenched in fortifications on a battlefield when they here some shouting from the enemy trenches.

"One Space Marine is worth 10 Orks" So the orks cant let their 'good' name be slandered so the Boss sends ten orks to run to the enemy trench shouting "ere we go". After a couple of minutes the orks here a voice shout " One Space Marine is worth 50 orks". So the Boss sends fifty orks charging towards the enemy trenches. Ten minutes later a voice shouts " One Space marine is worth 100 Orks". So 100 orks charge into the enemy trench on the Boss's orders. 15 minutes later a solitary ork returns and reports to the Boss that " They cheated boss, there was two of um!".

I went into my bookmarks and dug up probably the most complete 40K jokes thread (on a different forum) ever created. How many Ork jokes? Just this one. Alright, there was one other but it's already been posted, just slightly differently so I'll put it in spoilers for those who don't want to see the same joke twice.
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 06-19-09, 07:38 PM
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The shooting phase. HAHAHAHAHA!!!

"A true king is never alone, his will is equal to the will of all of his followers."
-Alexander the Great, kind of
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