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post #21 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 09:52 PM
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i was was not saying it was bullying i was comparing your choice of response to them,,was similar to ignoring a bully both ineffective
Which is what I don't understand. Straken IS currently ignoring it, and nothing is changing. I'm telling him to confront the person directly. Which is also how I suggested you deal with bullies - just make sure a bully doesn't have mates to back him up, and you get the first effective blow in.

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i have been a bouncer for many years..so id say yeah ive had to deal with dickheads of al types
Drunk dickheads who have Alpha male mentalities, and girls/friends they want to impress with their manliness. Of course my suggestion wouldn't work in that situation.

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so again this should be dealt with by the manager
I would suggest that Straken attempts to deal with it himself first, because it's always good to improve yourself through taking on challenges that are within your capability. If someone is being obnoxious and irritating then the best thing you can do is try to solve the problem yourself. That way you develop as a person, gain confidence, and will be more willing to stand up for yourself and what you believe in the next time something similar happens. There's a massive difference between confronting an asshole (politely and calmly) and asking someone else to make him stop being an asshole. One is empowering and self-affirming, the other is not.

Of course if the personal solution doesn't succeed, then I absolutely agree that the next step is to take it to the manager - who is remiss for allowing this behaviour to occur in his store to begin with.

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post #22 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 09:54 PM
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"40k is a broken system that's dumbed down."
"Warmahordes is for 3L33T skills Players who hate 40k."
"Infinity means you should question your sexuality."
"Kings of War is a knock off WHFB and you shouldn't play it because reasons."
"Historic wargames are for old people."

I have heard all of these arguments both in the past and recently.

I'm looking forward to moving away from where I am at the moment because my player base is a bit too caustic and restricted right now. I play alot of games with friends but have been thoroughly put off by a few bad-apples in other clubs.

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post #23 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 10:01 PM
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"40k is a broken system that's dumbed down."
"Historic wargames are for old people."
Seems like a sensible combination. I must be moving away from 40k to Historical's due to my advancing age and retreating attent...... ooh, snacks!


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post #24 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 10:01 PM
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Originally Posted by Sethis;1536609

I would suggest that Straken attempts to deal with it himself first, because it's always good to improve yourself through taking on challenges that are within your capability. If someone is being obnoxious and irritating then the best thing you can do is try to solve the problem yourself. That way you develop as a person, gain confidence, and will be more willing to stand up for yourself and what you believe in the next time something similar happens. There's a massive difference between confronting an asshole (politely and calmly) and asking someone else to make him stop being an asshole. One is empowering and self-affirming, the other is not.
[COLOR="DarkGreen"
well said[/COLOR]
Of course if the personal solution doesn't succeed, then I absolutely agree that the next step is to take it to the manager - who is remiss for allowing this behaviour to occur in his store to begin with. this is true!
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post #25 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 10:03 PM
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40k is dumbed down, but WFB takes real skill.
Ah, the old classic. Think I'd be fooled into thinking that Fantasy is more than glorified Candyland, eh?

It's not only an insult to the intelligence - it's plain wrong

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post #26 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 11:12 PM
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I've always tended to find that all tabletop gamers tend to band together - we're all playing with plastic space men at the end of the day, whether they're Menoth, Acontecimento or Tyranids, so there's usually a pretty good spirit between everybody. What I do find is some people who are very elitist within their chosen game, but that's generally because they're arseholes in all other spheres as well.
I echo what midnight said. Chances are these whining throbbers are arseholes no matter what context they are in or what sphere they chose to move in. Tell them to go take their face for a shite and don't give them the time of day to rant at you and eat into your valuable gaming time.

This toy soldiers stuff is all about having fun and enjoying yourself whether you are a painter, tournament player or fluffy army builder etc.

Unless it is constructive there is no need to waste time on small minded morons whinging about this rule and that system etc. If they don't like it they don't need to play it!!!! Chances are they are crap at the game and can't take humiliating defeat due to them being shit.
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post #27 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
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Which is what I don't understand. Straken IS currently ignoring it, and nothing is changing. I'm telling him to confront the person directly. Which is also how I suggested you deal with bullies - just make sure a bully doesn't have mates to back him up, and you get the first effective blow in.

While I wouldn't go as far as to say these people are "bullies" you are right here in how to deal with them...

I would suggest that Straken attempts to deal with it himself first, because it's always good to improve yourself through taking on challenges that are within your capability. If someone is being obnoxious and irritating then the best thing you can do is try to solve the problem yourself..

Yes I would rather deal with it myself. I generally do not go to someone else to sort my problems out, which is why I don't really want to bring it up with the manager...That just feels weak to me. And honestly I know he is aware of the problem but not really willing (or unable) to do anything about it, as it's a small store and relatively new I think he is worried he will lose business...This isn't right in my opinion as everyone should be treated equally, but he is a nice guy and he does have a very nice family to support with the shop, so I would understand to an extent if this was the reason...I should point out at this point that he will attempt to turn the conversation around if people start going off on rants, and makes a point of saying "Hey I dont mind you playing 40k in here at all. Your more than welcome."

Of course if the personal solution doesn't succeed, then I absolutely agree that the next step is to take it to the manager - who is remiss for allowing this behaviour to occur in his store to begin with.

haha well, see above...I don't think he is a bad manager, it's just I feel he doesn't want to be seen as taking sides and he is always extremely busy (runs the entire store by himself even on gaming nights, whilst running demos games, cleaning store, manning the till...It's hectic as hell). I would feel a like a total dick if I were to say it's his fault because he is a good guy in every other aspect...
I did suggest with some friends here (IRL) that I start calling people out subtly and they agreed that is probably a good idea. I am glad to see people suggesting it here too tbh.
Right now it is a very small (but sadly vocal) minority who go off on these rants and have these off-hand sly comments. The FLGS in general is great. But I think they need to be stood upto because otherwise it's going to spread like wildfire. I am pretty slow to anger as I am quite reserved and very patient, but when people consistently be a dick about something (especially to other people or myself) I am usually pretty vocal in calling them out. Everyone has their limits. And yeah I have been polite about it and laughed it off or tried to change the conversation gently, but it doesn't seem to work, so now I think it's time to be more confrontational.

Sadly, I have heard the argument "40k is for simpletons" numerous times too lol. Seems to be a favourite topic amongst the "haters". That and "I can't afford 40k anymore, I would need to take a second mortage out on my home." I find this to be unfounded, as those people are often the ones who spend the most on gaming by collecting and playing dozens of systems. But that's a different story.
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post #28 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 11:15 PM Thread Starter
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"Infinity means you should question your sexuality."
haha that is a good one actually. I get it.
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post #29 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-27-14, 11:21 PM Thread Starter
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Strakand, come to Michigan and play at my FLGS. We have a huge gaming community and the only problem we have are a few power gamers. That's only because we have some of the best players and painters in America at the store. We have Greg Sparks, Brad Chester, Chris Borer, and others that are there every week, so some people bring uber cheesy lists to compete at their play level. Aside from that, we dont have too many whiners. There are a few people that left 40k to play warmahordes, but everyone is excited to see the different models on the table
When the business is up and running smoothly in Canada I shall take you up on that mate ;-)
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post #30 of 34 (permalink) Old 01-28-14, 12:13 AM
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When the business is up and running smoothly in Canada I shall take you up on that mate ;-)
Great!

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