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post #1 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 10:35 PM Thread Starter
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Default Totally FALSE (And Hopefully Amusing) 40k Rumors

And now for something completely different... I'd like you folks to come up with some wild and crazy GW/40k rumors that will NEVER EVER be done by GW. This is just an exercise in humor and imagination...

Let me start it off...

"GW will release a line of chips and drinks to be sold in all GW Outlets. Any OTHER shop selling non-GW snacks and munchies within a 3mile/KM radius will be issued with a "cease and desist" notice by GW legal for "Gamer Refreshment Infringement"..."


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post #2 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 10:54 PM
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GW are releasing Citadel Water, its a new kind of water for cleaning your brushes, which have been redesigned to fall apart on contact with non GW water. Citadel water comes in a handy 2ml pot for the highly competitive price of just 」17.99.

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post #3 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 11:12 PM
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If you buy an entire chapter of ultramarines from GW direct they will also post you Matt Ward who will, when unpackaged, tie you down and force you to rim him.

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post #4 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 11:25 PM
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Space Marines will be getting a new Flyer that can turn into a Monstrous Jump Infantry Unit at the start of your movement phase. It'll be an BS4, AV13/13/13 5HP with a 3++ that turns into a WS4, BS4, T9, W9, I10,LD10, SV2+/3++ with Vector Dance, Skyfire, Fearless and comes equipped with the new 2 Rotary Lascannons. It fires 10 twin-linked shots each as S9, AP1 with a range of 72". It'll cost 145 points and can repair lost HP/Wounds on a roll of a 3+. It'll come only in Ultramarine Blue and Gold.

Here's the design art:
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post #5 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 11:33 PM
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Black Templars will be getting a new codex.

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post #6 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 11:47 PM
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Well someone's gotta say it...





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post #7 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-01-13, 11:53 PM
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SoB are having all Faith mechanics replaced with a new mechanic called 'Rage of the Red Tide'

They are also having their models replaced with Squat models in white wigs.

They will only be in play until the Nid codex update, where they will be eaten and removed from the system.

http://i.imgur.com/aPfHUHy.gif?1




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post #8 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-02-13, 12:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by scscofield View Post
SoB are having all Faith mechanics replaced with a new mechanic called 'Rage of the Red Tide'

They are also having their models replaced with Squat models in white wigs.

They will only be in play until the Nid codex update, where they will be eaten and removed from the system.
Are they judge's wigs?
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post #9 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-02-13, 12:01 AM
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With the release if 7th ed this summer GW will more the time line on to 50k

不ister of battle have fallen to chaos
付he eldar are all dead
瀕echanicum have hacked the necrons there now total benign and most people have there own undead robot servant
付he adaptus tera has fallen to be replaced by the health and safety executive, all tank must now be labeled "warning may contain explosives" and the guard have band loh stick, commissar now routinely execute people for running in a combat zone
付he custods finally finger out that the golden throne hasn't been plugged in this hole time, quickly fix the problem and by tea time the Emperor is up and about agin, but dose complain of a dry throat
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post #10 of 88 (permalink) Old 06-02-13, 12:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teedyrj View Post
With the release if 7th ed this summer GW will more the time line on to 50k

不ister of battle have fallen to chaos
付he eldar are all dead
瀕echanicum have hacked the necrons there now total benign and most people have there own undead robot servant
付he adaptus tera has fallen to be replaced by the health and safety executive, all tank must now be labeled "warning may contain explosives" and the guard have band loh stick, commissar now routinely execute people for running in a combat zone
付he custods finally finger out that the golden throne hasn't been plugged in this hole time, quickly fix the problem and by tea time the Emperor is up and about agin, but dose complain of a dry throat
Oh! I could do my Daughters of Khorne army finally!
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