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post #121 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-27-13, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by FinalLegion View Post
Oh? Do you know them well enough to know for a fact there was no malice in those statements? Somehow I doubt that you know those people well enough to know what they were thinking and feeling when they posted those comments.
I suppose you're right, the number of times we've sat up at night, beer in hand, talking about how I feel about people on the internet and my apparent insecurities and all that other touchy feely stuff. I miss those evenings mate, I really do, I think we really struck up and amazingly deep relationship where you would forever more know exactly what I'm thinking and whether or not a joke was made for humours sake or for some malicious need to hurt others.

Except none of that happened, did it.

You have no more insight into what the intention of the JOKE I made was than anyone else on the internet who doesn't know me, yet you have chosen to take offence all the same.

You're free to assume anything you want, you can think whatever you want of me personally but please don't try and pass it off as fact.

As Jimmy Carr once said,
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post #122 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-27-13, 10:02 AM
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As Jimmy Carr once said,
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Its impossible to give offence, it can only ever be taken
so the burden is on you not me.
however it is possible to be offended by a statement, and to be offensive

and this dosn't give people the right to be offensive because its up to the person who they are speaking to to not take offense to it, thats just fucked up logic

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post #123 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-27-13, 11:08 AM
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however it is possible to be offended by a statement, and to be offensive

and this dosn't give people the right to be offensive because its up to the person who they are speaking to to not take offense to it, thats just fucked up logic
Steven Fry disagrees.


and while I'm at it, just to say it in another way:

http://www.boreme.com/posting.php?id=29555
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post #124 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-27-13, 11:15 AM
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i see what you mean, and some people have taken it to the extreme, but i stick to my way of not "offending" people unless there is due cause

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post #125 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-27-13, 06:29 PM
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I'm a great believer in intention being the determining factor as to whether something is offensive, not the means or the method used to convey a message. From what I can see, what's happened in this thread is that someone who appears to be very immature, who hasn't developed coping strategies to a normal adult level has read what might be considered an 'edgy' joke (that really isn't edgy, PM me if you want some links to some jokes that will actually test you) but they considered to be an offensive comment and have immediately taken to the reply button instead of acting like a propper grown up and taking a step back and thinking for a second.

I mean, seriously, c'mon. A joke like that, about 40k themed cos play, on a site like this? Within this context it should not even raise an eyebrow, infact i'm sure the original intention of the joke was to be somewhat affectionate. This isn't, afterall xbox live chat, it isn't a comedy show, it's not even a normal conversation. It's an internet forum where everyone has the right to reply and there aren't the time constraints of a live conversation.

It's all about the intention.

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post #126 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-28-13, 02:14 AM
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Several people are raising the point about this being the internet, it's all anonymous and people have to grow a thick skin in response to statements that they can only guess as to whether the intent was to joke or to be purposely malicious.

Fair enough.

There's a flip side to that coin. You also need to be prepared for people to read your statements a certain way and maybe read the intent as to the opposite of your true intention. So in addition to growing thick skin as to the intent of statements, people also need to grow some thick skin in response to how others respond to their statements. If you really don't care how someone interprets your intent one way or the other, than don't complain when it happens. If you do care, even a little, then consider what you write. I'm not advocating that you censor yourself to the point of crippling what it is you want to convey, but there's no reason to devolve to personal insults.

That's all I have left to say on the issue.
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post #127 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-28-13, 06:10 AM
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Originally Posted by FinalLegion View Post
If a joke is humorous, then it should be a joke. I found no humor in the virginity jokes directed at him. Perhaps your experiences with such humor has been of a jovial, camaraderie atmosphere. Mine have not. In my experience, the people I have witnessed being the butt of such jokes have not been joked with in a casual, friendly manner. There has been, all to frequently, malice on the other end. Since it's almost impossible to ascertain the true motives of posters who are totally anonymous to me, I'll assume the worst until someone demonstrates otherwise.

It's one thing to be critical of the suit. There's nothing with offering observations about what one thinks might have been done better. The point is this: it's one thing to make comments about the suit. It's another thing to make it personal. There's zero reason for it. As far as I'm concerned, those who'd offer up such comments are the ones with feelings of insecurity or inadequacy.

Believe what you like.
Then, as you have concluded yourself, the problem is in how oneself interpret if a joke is a joke or not. If you can't interpret it as a joke, that's fine by me. But, you can't attack other people who thinks that it is a joke. We do it as a joke, as a camaraderie feelings, but if you think the other way, it's up to you. Don't blame the users and the moderators as insensitive if you think differently.

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Originally Posted by FinalLegion View Post
Several people are raising the point about this being the internet, it's all anonymous and people have to grow a thick skin in response to statements that they can only guess as to whether the intent was to joke or to be purposely malicious.

Fair enough.

There's a flip side to that coin. You also need to be prepared for people to read your statements a certain way and maybe read the intent as to the opposite of your true intention. So in addition to growing thick skin as to the intent of statements, people also need to grow some thick skin in response to how others respond to their statements. If you really don't care how someone interprets your intent one way or the other, than don't complain when it happens. If you do care, even a little, then consider what you write. I'm not advocating that you censor yourself to the point of crippling what it is you want to convey, but there's no reason to devolve to personal insults.

That's all I have left to say on the issue.
Once again, the value of what is personal and what is not is depending on each individual. For one person, an insult to his intelligence is not personal, for another it may be personal. For other person, an insult to his hobby is not personal, for another it is personal. The world is not perfect. You won't know other person's value. You can't do a thing that will please all people.

In the Internet, all of us believe in free speech. You may talk shit about the government, about corporations, about everything. Yes, we still need to know other's person feelings, but we usually did it according to our "standard" or the widely received standard. For example, insult to one's mother is widely known as a personal insult, so I won't go for that, although maybe some of us are not concerned with insult to our mother. I also won't go to religion or race insult. Some of us don't give a shit to religion, but I still won't go that way.

In conclusion, I do jokes (or insults, depending on the person) according to my own values, and the widely received values. Why? Because I never known your values. That's why communicating requires thick skin.

Another example. In the Western, it's OK to call your parents with their name. It's not acceptable in the Eastern. Then, should I call the Westerners impolite? No, because that's they culture. Should the Western calls the Easterners overly-devotional to their parents? No, because that's how the Easterners do it. In conclusion, each of us has different values. You may expect me to adhere to all of your values, but I can't.



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post #128 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-28-13, 07:52 AM
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Another example. In the Western, it's OK to call your parents with their name. It's not acceptable in the Eastern. Then, should I call the Westerners impolite? No, because that's they culture. Should the Western calls the Easterners overly-devotional to their parents? No, because that's how the Easterners do it. In conclusion, each of us has different values. You may expect me to adhere to all of your values, but I can't.
I know that last time I said that I had said all I wanted to say, and I have, and I suppose we'll have to disagree...but I'm commenting here because the comment above really threw me.

I don't know of any Western country where it's considered okay to call your parents by their proper names. It's certainly not okay here in the United States and I've never heard any of my Canadian or European friends address their parents in that manner. I'm just curious as to where you heard that.

Last edited by FinalLegion; 04-28-13 at 07:55 AM.
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post #129 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-28-13, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by ThunderHawk View Post
Another example. In the Western, it's OK to call your parents with their name.
Calling you Mum or Dad by their Christian name is not acceptable to anyone I know.

In fact it's a bit creepy when I think of calling my parents by their names.
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post #130 of 236 (permalink) Old 04-28-13, 09:27 AM
nice boy, daft though !
 
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I think it boils down to this, if the writer has to take into account how anyone will react to a post it would be almost impossible to post without offending someone, so it is far simpler for readers to simply ignore a post or writer and cosider the writer to just be a dickhead andtake what they post with a pinch of salt.

Norm told a joke,it was funny because our hobby does contain a significant number of socially awkward people when it comes to relationships, you goto games day or comicon and point to someone whos getting laid and i will point to twenty who are not,dont forget stereotypes exist for a reason.



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