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post #17 of (permalink) Old 04-08-11, 04:35 PM
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forever fallen

I am lost.

There is no other word for it.

Once I had faith and sword, armour blessed in the fires of the battle and a love for the emperor but now, now I have nothing but hate and loathing for that which I followed so blindly.

It was on the world of Wolfs Lair a piss ant world in the back of beyond, it could have been a foot note on some adept of the administratum file had it not been for the fact it was a world relevant to my sisters.

A world where centuries before a whole battle squad died defending the ungrateful scum of a populace from the demons that came from the warp and devoured their souls like a sweet delicacy.

When I read of their sacrifice for the ungrateful hierarchy of that world I wept for the uselessness of it all. We ask for nothing but a thank you for their deaths protecting them would have been nice and all we got was a begrudging thanks.

I wonder if they would have been so ungrateful if it had been our brothers in the Adeptus Astartes that had saved their sorry asses.

We returned there less then a century later when the Imperial Guard regiment of the Catachans requested help. We were in system returning from another battle when the call came in and our sister superior, not wanting brother and sister warriors to be alone diverted us towards Wolfs Lair.

The populace had once again become enslaved to the will of chaos. Their government had fallen and the pitiful wretches had over thrown their allegiance to the god-emperor and as I cut the heretics down screaming the words of my faith at them I stopped.

I am not sure why I stopped but as I stood there watching heretic kill sister and soldier alike, sister and soldier butchering heretic I began to wonder what it was all for.

We would retake this world but what for? In another three generations it would happen again. The snivelling wretches that lived here would spew their ungrateful stomach churning, bile rising platitudes and then covert the darkness once more.

Everything seemed to become slowed around me, I was moving in real time but everything else was slowed down and as I watched, puzzled by what was going on a figure moved towards me.

She wore the armour of a sister of battle but it was corrupted in ways that I had no way of knowing where to even begin. Her sword seemed to writhe of its own elusion, a blood thirsting mind that begged to be released upon the fighting throng and spill blood in the name of a god that lived for god.

She stood before me, her hair wild and free like writing snakes, her eyes glowing with the light of the warp. She moved her head to one side as if sizing me up to see if I would accept what she had to say or if she would decide I was to die.

Either way I was ready.

“Sister Katherine” She began and bowed her head “I am Sister Valeria”

Valeria? That was impossible, she had been a sergeant with the sisters who had died a century ago. The hairs on the back of her neck began to stand on end.

For some reason I tried to remember the prayers and litanies that had been my shield and my faith since my childhood those words that would comfort me as an orphan child in the orphanage on Ophelia.

None would come to me; none would enter my mind all I could see was my former battle sister, a name revered in our order, as one who died for our most Holy Father enacting his will.

Instead I was frozen to the spot my sword and bolter in hand unable to move. She looked – alluring. The fires of faith, seduction, and sex rolled into one femme fatale. I shook my head trying to dispel the shade before me.

“Sister Katherine” Her voice like honeyed silk poured over the finest sweets “I come to make an offer to one who has fought bravely for the god-emperor. I come to offer you a seat at the true masters side”

“You are not real”

“Oh I am real alright, I am the small voice in your head that tells you that these ungrateful maggots will watch you all die for them and return to the state that they have enjoyed.

They allow you and your brothers and sisters to die for them and for what? To start the cycle again”

“You lie Sister Valeria is dead you are an image sent by the false gods”

My bravado was false the bluster in my voice nothing but a joke, she was correct. I had tired of being at the beck and call of these people. I was tired of loosing my sisters to ungrateful bureaucrats who sat back on their laurels and let others die for them.

I was tired of returning to this rock and for what? Had it been anyone else they would have been cycloned bombed to hell but the Mechanicum loved the ores that came from the core of this blighted rock.

“Let me give you the path for you and your squad” That smooth silken voice cooed “Let me show you the way it could be, no more serving the idle cowards who do not deserve the devotion of the brave sqaud you belong to.”

My eyes closed, my heart sang to the thought of fresh battles but ones that would be rewarded. My Bolter raised and I fired into the face of my Sister Superior and in my head rang the laughter of a thirsting god.

I am forever fallen.

Word count: 949
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