How to tell if YOU are one of the missing primarchs - Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 04:26 AM Thread Starter
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Default How to tell if YOU are one of the missing primarchs

This is a public service announcement for my fellow warhammer40k fans. At one point or another we've all wondered if we were a missing primarch. But how does one tell? Here's a helpful list to tell you if indeed YOU are one of the Emperors missing sons.

1. Are you like 12 to 14 foot tall?

2. Did you crash land on this planet in some sort of weird gestating pod?

3. Do you own a suit of armor with giant horned nipples?

4. Do you often feel the need to go ape shit all over your siblings till their half dead?

5. Did someone hammer some sort of weird anger enhancing device into your skull that no one understands?

6.If you stand really still can you go invisible?

7. Do you have an identical twin running around with the other half of your soul?

8. Do you have angel wings? (Check carefully, a mirror may be required)

9.Are you a master of siege warfare?

10. Do you own a giant star fortress? (Protip: look in the garage)

11. Are you a spiritual liege?

12.Are you horrible at interpersonal relationships with your siblings and peers?

13.Do you have giant ass canines?

14.Have you ever heard the mad laughter of dark and thirsting gods?

15. Has Aaron Dembski Bowden ever written a book about you.

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, Congratulations, you sir are a Primarch.
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 04:32 AM
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Damnit, so close...


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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 07:31 AM
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Me...a missing primarch...No I don't think so.....
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 07:37 AM Thread Starter
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Me...a missing primarch...No I don't think so.....
Its the giant star fortress in your garage that put you over the top,wasn't it?
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 07:51 AM
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Well more than one but wrong gender so can't be me.

"Loyalty is its own reward."
Lion El'Jonson.
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 07:52 AM
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I was doing so well until #13. I've never owned an ass canine, giant or otherwise.

Too bad, because I can hear the mad laughter of dark and thirsting gods, too. They're MST3King me. I don't know if I should be depressed or laughing.

Homebrew stuff for your viewing pleasure:
The Stormhunters Fluff/Crunch - Updated 10/07/13
The Rust Legion Fluff - Updated 5/19/13
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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-27-13, 09:16 AM
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well i can answer yes to number 4, and i do own a dog but its only a foot high and runs from cats

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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-28-13, 11:59 PM Thread Starter
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Well more than one but wrong gender so can't be me.
No reason they cant be a missing Primarch rina? Rella? I dunno lol
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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-29-13, 12:04 AM
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Stuff
8. Do Chicken wings count?
12 Damn! peers horrible relationship with sibling norm.

Last edited by locustgate; 07-29-13 at 12:14 AM.
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 07-29-13, 12:21 AM
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OH My GOOOOODDDDDD! I Think i nailed it......

2. Did you crash land on this planet in some sort of weird gestating pod?

Fell down the stairs in a sleeping bag.....pretty much the same thing.


6.If you stand really still can you go invisible?

I'm invisible to most people all the time....i'll be in a room full of people and they;ll all go to lunch and just leave me there cause they don't see me.


14.Have you ever heard the mad laughter of dark and thirsting gods?

I'm pretty sure i've been to one of their concerts.

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