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post #5 of (permalink) Old 05-25-09, 09:25 PM Thread Starter
Alex
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Alex's Flag is: United Kingdom
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wirral, England
Posts: 668
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zondarian View Post
I like it, some of the writing is a bit weak, but the storyline is good. Can't wait for the Primarch to start shaking things up. But on a serious note, the Boom bit was the low point for me. You can capture such detail in an explosion scene and I don't feel you did it justice.
Yeah I'm trying to get better at my writing, it is a bit weak at the moment, hence the low point, great thing about the edit button is that I can improve my mistakes with tips like that . I didn't really take much time in that first post, it was a quick 20 mins in between revision, hopefully the next piece( which will be up later today) will be better.

Builder of the Lego Manta

40K Farsight Enclaves
WFB - Brettonians

Last edited by Alex; 05-26-09 at 12:21 AM.
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