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post #6 of (permalink) Old 04-27-09, 09:26 PM Thread Starter
Tau22
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************************************************** ********
Chapta' 6 - Fightin' wif friendz!
************************************************** ********

Damnit!”
“What is it, master?”
“Well, not only did your little raid end in failure...”
“Sorry, master.”
“Whatever. Now, I've got three fleets that came here to help us.”
“But... master... isn't that good?”
“Perhaps. But they are fleets from the three other 'elite' legions. The Emperor's Children, the Death Guard and the World Eaters.”
“And that is bad, because...?
“Because this means the other guys want a piece of our reward. Or they just want to prove who's the biggest. Biggest arsehole, if ya ask me.”
“I see. I was sent to inform you that the leaders of the individual forces sent here wish to meet with you. Strategy plannin' and stuff.”
“Oh, boy. When will they come?”
“Ummm.... they're already here.”
“What?! When did you want to tell me?!”
“Now?”
“Whatever. Lead me to 'em.”
Rakul and Nebulon walked towards the ship's quest chamber. As they got closer, laughter could be heard.
“Hmmm?”
“What is it, master?”
“I can never forget that laughter. Heheheh.”
Rakul opened the door. There, three figures stood. Figures he knew only too well.

A Khorne commander in red armour, like most others. A mighty hammer was on the man's back, his helmet had ten horns on it. His eyes shone with blue. Sangus the generic.

A Nurgle sorcerer who wore a sturdy set of power armour. His staff was made of a rare kind of swiftly-regrowing wood. On the staff's top was a black gem. His helmet had no horns on it, but he had a long, torn cape. And torn capes are AWESOME. Morbus the itchy.

And then there was the slaanesh lord. His armour was painted in many different colours, each symbolising an emotion... at least, Rakul thought they did. The lord's exotic power chain blade hung by his side. Which is NOT like a chain sword. It was a sword made of smaller parts that could be extended. A warrior with such a weapon could hit an enemy several metres appart. And since it was a power weapon, it has a -2 armour modifier, what's not to like? The lord wore not a helmet, but a Eldar Harlequin-like mask. Carito the picky had always told Rakul that he loved how the masks looked.

“Well, look what the chaos cat's dragged in!”
“Well, excuse me, Rakul! I thought you would be happy to see my beautiful self and these two.”
“I sure am, Carito! Come here, guys!”
The four chaos leaders came together and clasped hands, laughing. Nebulon was more than just confused.
“Master? You know them?”
Rakul turned to him, grinning.
“Why, yes. We were in the same advanced summoning class. Oh, sorry. Guys, this is my best daemon, Nebulon”
The three gave Nebulon slight bows.
“Thank you. But, why would a khornate want to summon daemons?”
Sangus seemed amused.
“Because I can't be arsed to call a different sorcerer to do it. Plus, it's fun.”
“Riiight... what were you summoning, anyway?”
“Well, Nebulon,” it was Morbus, “ Khorne'ssss beastssss, papa Nurgle'ssss sssstuff... Daemonettessss... you know, regular thingssss.”
“Yes. We got to know each other there. It was a delicious time, indeed.”
“Everything's delicious for you, Carito.”
“Well, that was more delicious than some other stuff, Rakul.”
The four laughed again. Nebulon thought it was a little awkward. Rakul then spoke again:
“Well, then. Let's get down to business. I could REALLY use help from some competent leaders.”
The four started planning the invasion. Nebulon stood close by... until he noticed something in a door on the opposite side of the room.

He went through the door and there... he saw an empty hallway. A noise behind him made him turn. It was a Daemonette. One he knew well.
“Why, Mithara! I didn't expect to see you here.”
“I bet you didn't, you handsome Bloodletter, you. Heh. You wanna have some fun? ”
“What kind?” Nebulon was grinning.
“You ever hear the Children boys play music? They rock. Literally. Wanna come with me?”
“Sure.”
The two daemons left... hand in hand, strangely.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
WHAT DID YOU THINK SHE WAS GONNA SAY, PERVERT?!?!?!?!?!?!?

*****************************

Akhalam VI, PDF HQ:

“So, you offer us aid?”
“Yes, you are in a time of need. The Eldar will help you.”
“Yeh, what he said. We'z gonna help ya wif da fightin'!”
Alix Mossiv had seen many things in his younger days. From squig-hair to Gargants. But an Eldar-ork-human alliance? Unheard of.
“Well, do ya accept, humie?”
He was silent for a moment. Then:
“Yes. I agree. We'll show the forces of Chaos not to mess with us, eh?”
“Yeh! I'z like were dis is goin'!”
Gobroz suddenly ran into the room.
“Boss!!”
“Wot is it, flashgit Gobroz?”
“Da chaos boys! Hearin' dat they'z attackin'! I hear dere'z more!”
“What!?” Ash'nu was nervous now.
“Dere'z da onez we fought before. Den I heard some guardies sayin' dat there were red, green and purple onez too!”
“What guardsmen, Gobroz!”
“Da onez dat had ta retreet, Ash'nu!”
“Darnit,” Alix turned on all commucations, “report!”
From nowhere in particular, the voice of Anon Ymous came. It was kinda fuzzy.
“We *Static* multiple Chaos *Static* everywhere *Static* 9-Z! *Static* tried *Static* eak through, *Static* too many!”
“Fiddlesticks! Enemy numbers and type?”
“*Static* elite legio *Static* several thou *Static* NEED REINFORCEMENTS!!!”
“Signal lost!” came from one of the operators
“That can't be good! Can you defeat that many?”
Ash'nu and Nagosh looked at each-other, then back.
“Well, it is obvious that we are fighting the World Eaters, the Death Guard, the Emperor's children AND the Thousand sons. Individually, they are strong, but together...”
“Yeh. Plus, if dey'z fightin' togetha, dat rituel fingy has ta be VERY important.”
“You'z right, flashgit Gobroz!”
“But can you defeat them?”
“Even with your guardsmen as aid, I... do not know. We do not know if this is their main force, or if they have more troops in reserve.”
“I'z gonna say... we'z need help!”
“Quite right,” Alix turned to an operator, “is there anyone friendly close to us?”
The operator clicked some buttons on his computer. After a minute:
“Yes! We have two space marine cruisers within six hours of travel!”
“That is excellent! Who are they?”
“The one further from us belongs to the Ultramatines. The other one, which can be here in two hours belongs to... oh Emperor!”
“What?”
“It belongs to... them.”
“Who 'them'?”
The operator whispered into Alix's ear. The general was instantly more pale.
“Emperor grant us his blessing... but we need all the help we can get. Request aid from both. And tell them about our unlikely aid.”
The operator nodded. After a wile, he turned back to the general.
“Both have accepted. The Ultramarines with 'We will aid you! Hold them off until we arrive.' the others with this.”
The operator read the answer. It contained so much swearing, that another operator's head exploded.
“Who in the name of Eldrad is coming to help us, general?!”
“You will know soon enough, I'm afraid. Now, I need you to help my men hold the invaders back!”
“Yeh! Let'z go, flashgit Gobroz! We need da boys!”
“Yeh, boss!”
The two went outside, where Muskit, Ugu, Altian, Lokan and Kilina waited, along with some guardsmen. The humans' attention was on Kilina. Before leaving, Kilina shouted:
“See ya later, boys! ”
Half of the guardsmen fainted. Altian commented:
“You like doing that, don't you?”
“Nope. I LOVE it!”
She laughed. Altian loved that laughter.

*************

“My lords!”
The noise marine that came to inform them seemed hyper. But don't they seem hyper all the time?
“Yes?” Rakul awaited the best news.
“We have pushed back the enemy forces in the sector. We found the fortress and its inner temple.”
“Excellent! Secure the area, we will send more troops shortly.”
“As you wish, my lord.”
The noise marine left.
“Finally! My mission will be complete! Heheheheh. And the Imperium will have MUCH more trouble.”
“Firsssst we have to finisssh your ritual.”
“Perhaps, Morbus. But that is merely a matter of time.”
“Perhapssss. What issss the statussss on the other thing?”
“Do not worry about that. Carito is personally making sure it is done right. Our extra helper will be here in no time.”
“Good to hear. Where did Sangusss go, anyway?”
“I think he said something about summoning... and the only things he summons are Daemonettes... only lessons he paid attention on.”
“Ah, yessss. Heheheheheheh. Good timessss.”
“Indeed. The only one who's missing now is Nebulon.”
“Don'tcha know? I heard ssssome sssslaaneshi boyssss talkin' bout a black Bloodletter with a Daemonette. At their concert. The two sssseemed to be havin' fun.”
“Oh, really? Seems even Nebulon has some secrets. Heheheh.”

**************

“Ya redy, boys?”
“Yeh, boss. Redy for stompin', smashin' and winnin'!”
“Gud! Flashgit Gobroz, wot are da Eldar an' humies sayin'?”
Gobroz was the only one smart enough to carry a communicator.
“Dey'z sayin' we'z shud attack first. Den dey'll come and help us.”
“'Kay. Muskit, what 'bout Ugu?”
“He'z okay and redy for bitin'!”
“Gud! Now. Dere'z gonna be lots of chaos boys dere. Don't leave many for anyone else! We'z gonna have some fun!”
No attack is complete without yellin', no?
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!”

The orks ran out of their hiding place... the never-ending jungle of doom. Only to realise they were on the wrong side of the damned thing.
So... after two hours... of FAST walkin', they ran out on the right side.
As soon as they came within a mile of the chaos forces, loud shots were heard.
“Boss! I'z know dat sound...”
“Stupid big gunz!”
The shells landed killing some orks. But this time, the orks were too many to be destroyed.
“Blood for the blood god!”
Berzerkers appeared out of ruined buildings and bunkers. They ran towards the ork horde without fear. The two forces clashed.
The berzerkers were better, but they were greatly outnumbered.
“Get back, ya bloody fools! Let us make some racket.”
The berzerkers reluctantly retreated. Incredibly loud... sounds came from the noise marines. But not even those could stop the orks.
The noise marines, being the sissies that they are, retreated. Against the orks now stood a joint force of plague and rubric marines.
“Dis ain't so bad, boss!”
“Nope!”
Every ork proved to be a good fighter. Rubric and plague marines alike were torn to pieces, but there were many fallen orks, as well. And then... came Chaos armour.
Over twenty defilers, backed up by four predator tanks and three chaos dreadnaughts. Sure, the orks had tankbustin' weaponry... but that was still a lot of firepower.
Shots flew through the air. Gobroz, Muskit, Ugu and Nagosh stood in the firing line of a predator autocannon. And those things aren't very kind to flesh.
“I liked havin' ya as a boss, boss.”
“Thanks, flashgit Gobroz.”
Just as the tank wanted to fire:
“Strike for Baharroth!”
As haywire grenades fell from the sky, followed by lasfire, Gobroz knew that the Eldar had arrived. Artillery shots that hit the ENEMY told him that the PDF was making its move, too.
Warp spiders appeared behind a group of plague marines and unleashed death. Though, papa Nurgle' boys were already kinda dead... whatever, you get the point, right?
Falcon grav-tanks flew over the landscape and landed. From them, groups of howling banshees, dire avengers and many more Eldar aspects exited.

The battle continued. Loses were on both sides, though the forces of Chaos seemed to be loosing.
The PDF guardsmen came to the battlefield. They aimed their flas... lasguns and shot, heating up enemy armour to the level of 'Annoying'.
“Dis is fun!”
“Yeh, flashgit Gobroz!”
Suddenly, a whole squad of guardsmen was cut down. An only too familiar entity appeared. The Bloodletter champion stood. Nebulon looked quite menacing.
“Oy! It'z da one dat talks lots!”
“Yes, warboss. And today, I shall be the victor.”
Muskit, Gobroz and Ugu were there in seconds. Altian, Kilina and Lokan were close behind.
“I'z don't fink so. You'z just one.”
“Perhaps. But I have some aid,” Nebulon touched his ear,”defilers, FIRE!!!”
Four loud 'booms'. Three shots missed, but the fourth one landed on their location.
Nagosh looked around.
“You'z okay?”
“Yeh, boss.” shouted Gobroz.
The three Eldar nodded, as well. Then, a scream pierced the air:
“UGU!!!!”
The five turned. Muskit stood above the little squig. It didn't move.
“Stupid thing deserved it! You know how much those teeth hurt?!”
“You'z gonna...” started Nagosh, but he was interrupted by a loud scream.
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
Muskit's eyes were red. The ork ran straight for Nebulon, whose eyes grew wide.
“OH SH-!!!”
Muskit tackled Nebulon, who was sent straight through a building. Before the daemon could even stand up, he was pummelled by a flurry of mighty blows and was then kicked into another building. Muskit's berzerker rage left.
Meanwhile, Nebulon considered a tactical retreat as his best option. And so he was gone, with the help his trademark cloud of smoke.
A group of rubric's converged on Muskit, weapons ready. Suddenly, a large, yellow space marine drop-pod landed on them. No survivors. The pod's doors opened and out went a figure in yellow armour. A... large wrench in his hand and a angryfaic as a mask!
“OWNED!!!!”
More drop-pods landed and more of the marines exited. Together, they shouted:
“Always angry, all the time!!!!!!!”
And that was how the angry marines had joined the battle for Akhalam VI. The marine with the angryfaic came closer to Muskit. Nagosh and the others were there in seconds.
“So, you are THE MOTHER*BEEP*S that we were supposed to SAVE THE ARSES of?”
“Yeh.... why'z ya swearin',” Gobroz was intrigued, “And why'z ya bein' censored?”
“Why? WHY?! I'LL TELL YOU WHY YOU FU*BEEP* EXCUSE FOR A FIGHTER!!! I SWEAR BECAUSE I DO!!! IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT, YOU CAN KISS MY ARSE!!! AND I'M BEIN' CENSORED, 'CAUSE THE SICK FU*BEEP* WRITER IS TOO STUPID TO GIVE THIS SH*BEEP* A 'T' RATING!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“I understandz... I think.”
“That's good. BECAUSE IF YOU DIDN'T, I'D PUT MY FOOT SO DEEP INTO YOUR...!!!!!”
“I getz it! Calm down!”
“Fine, BI*BEEP*!!!”
“Enuff, ya two! We'z need ta fight da chaos boys AND get Ugu ta safety!”
“Boss is right, Gobroz. I'z need ta take him ta dok Grimog. He'll know wot ta do!!”
“Yeh, you'z do dat! Quick!”
Muskit didn't need to be told twice.
“So, how do ya want ta beat da chaos boys?”
“I'M GONNA TEAR THEM A NEW ARSE HOLE, THAT'S HOW!!!!! BY THE WAY, name's Skalius the slightly ANGRIER!!!!”
The angry marine ran off. Nagosh looked at Gobroz. The flashgit was just as surprised as him. The group joined the fight soon afterwards.


*********************************

“'Kay, so dis 'ere is a Mork gargant, and dis 'ere is a Gork gargant... Dey'z pretty same-lookin'.” -flashgit Gobroz on gargants

“Orks are the scourge of the galaxy... but their beer ain't half-bad!” - guardsman from the 665th 'Fungusmen' regiment.

“It's... itchy.” - plague marines

“Damn... I need to scratch my butt.” - Blood Angels' chaplain Icaron during a battle

“What's my quote doing here?!” - Kalish, lord of the Necromorphs

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