Wargaming Forum and Wargamer Forums - View Single Post - Savin' stuff, da orky way!
View Single Post
post #3 of (permalink) Old 04-27-09, 09:07 PM Thread Starter
Senior Member
Tau22's Avatar
Tau22's Flag is: Slovak Republic
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Warp-space in the middle of Europe
Posts: 287
Reputation: 1

Chapta' 3 - Pointy friendz

“Boss, are ya sure we'z goin' in da right directun?”
“'Course! Whaddaya think, flashgit Gobroz? That I'z stupid?”
“No, boss. It's just dat Muskit and me have seen dat rock over fifteen times.”
“Oh... well... FINE!! We'z lost! You'z happy?”
“Not in da slightest, boss.”
The three orks and Ugu went into the jungles alone. Searching for still-living feral orks is lots of work. Especially when your navigator is “directionally impaired”.
“Wot now, boss?”
“I'z don't know, Muskit.”
As the three were losing hope, Ugu suddenly squeaked and started running.
“UGU! Where ya goin'!?”
Muskit ran after the little squig, the other two close behind.


As they followed the little squig, the orks started hearing sounds. After a minute, they identified the sounds as screams. They were human-like.
“More orks?”
“No, Muskit. Voices are humie-like.”
“Yeh! We'z gonna have some fightin'!”
“Right, boss.”
Ugu suddenly stopped. They did too. Through the trees and foilage they could see three slim figures in white armour and... pointy helmets. Their armours were white, but with hints of green here and there.
The three were surrounded by a group of humanoids in gold and blue armour. Most just stood there, but one talked with the pointy-helmeted (is that a word?) ones.

“Wot are dose, boss?” whispered Muskit.
“Da onez wif da pointy helmetz are Eldarz. Da oderz are chaos boyz.”
“Quiet, ya two! I'z listenin'!”
“Sorry, flashgit Gobroz.”

They were quiet and listened as well. The chaos marine spoke:
“I will ask one last time, Eldar. Answer, and your death will be swift. Where is the temple?!”
“We will never tell the likes of you, follower of chaos.”
“Fine, have it your way. Destroy them!”
The remaining marines stepped forward like machines. The Eldar readied battle stances.
“We can't let da chaos boyz do dat!”
“Why, boss?”
“'Cause, flashgit Gobroz, dere'z more chaos boyz, derefore more fun. Plus, da Eldarz know where ta find more chaos boyz. I'z know it.”
Nagosh Ubzug sometimes shows a mind of a smart boy. Sometimes.
“Kay, boss. You'z go first, we'z goin' second.”
“Let's get 'em! WAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!”
The chaos marines turned to the source of the noise. The leader was shocked. The Eldar were as well.
A giant ork doesn't just run out of the jungle to smash stuff... most of the time.


Nagosh lifted his chain choppa and cut one of the chaos marines in half. The armour... was empty.
“Wot is dis?!”
Another of the marines readied his bolter.
“Not so fast, chaos boy!”
Gobroz, though a smart boy, was still a flashgit. And flashgits like BIG shootas. The marine learned that only too well. Again, only bits of armour were left. Gobroz exited the jungle.
“Boss! Dese chaos boyz are weird!”
“Yeh! Smashin' 'em is still fun, though!”
Nagosh and Gobroz looked at the chaos leader.
“You'z talkin' ta us, humie?”
“Yes. And I will gladly send your souls to Tzeentch, for all they're worth! Rubric marines! ATTACK!”

As one rubric marine moved, Muskit suddenly appeared and tackled it with such strength, that the helmet fell of. The marine's gauntlet rose and showed him... the finger. Another tackle sent the armour to the ground.

The Eldar started fighting. One disappeared only to reappear behind a marine and delivered a barrage of devastating energy shots... at least, they looked like energy shots.

The second charged at the marines. They shot, but he flew up and showered with fire from his blaster. The marine's armour seemed to deflect those shots. But he then descended, landing on the marine, crushing the armour. The other one drew a knife, but was too slow. A barrage of shots tore him to bits. The Eldar turned to see Gobroz and was surprised when the ork gave him a 'thumbs up' before resuming his shooting.

The third Eldar... was female. She gracefully danced between the marines, who were too slow to block. An extremely loud shriek from close range literally blew off a marine's helmet.

The marines' greatest nemesis was... Ugu, strangely enough. The little squig jumped from marine to marine, confusing the walking armours. The rubric's shot each other, trying to get the little thing. Muskit got those that 'survived'.

Meanwhile, Nagosh fought the chaos leader. Chain choppa against chain sword. The leader somehow mustered the power to keep the warboss at bay. Which was quite a feat, even for a corrupted space marine.
“Wot, are you'z on steroids?!”
“Winners don't use drugs, ork! They use the might of chaos!”
A dark energy gathered in the leader's right hand. He released a blast of warp-fire at point-blank range, which scorched the boss' left side.
Nagosh was REALLY mad now. He applied more force and the chain sword broke in half. But he didn't push the choppa further. Instead, he picked up the leader and threw him upwards. He turned his choppa around and used it as an improvised club. He hit the chaos marine and the chaos worshipper was sent flying. For at least a few miles. NEVER make orks mad.

The two other orks and Ugu came closer.
“Boss, ya alright?”
“Yeh, flashgit Gobroz. It's just stingin' a bit.”
“Why did you do that?”
All four (don't forget Ugu) turned. It was the swooping hawk.
“Wot? Save ya arses?”
“Well... yes. Or perhaps you still want to fight?”
The three readies battle stances. The two orks and Ugu looked at Nagosh.
“I'z tired. And me left side 'urts.”
The hawk looked at the warp-fire wound.
“That needs treatment.”
The hawk facepalmed.
“He meanz fixin', boss.”
“Oh... why?”
“Warp-fire is a dangerous weapon. The wound can start dissolving if not treated.”
“You Eldarz like big fancy wordz, eh?”
The hawk didn't know what to do. Gobroz felt like a translator.
“He sayz, dat da burned partz are gonna turn into somethin' dat has to be replaced by a dok.”
“No dok! I almost lost both mah eyez last time! During arm replacementz! So, you'z Eldarz can heal dis?”
“Yes. But we would have to get you near one of our warlocks. And that could be a problem.”
“We don't even know why you helped us. And then refused to attack us.”
“Why? We'z just wanted ta have some fun! Plus, you were outnumba'd. Dat ain't nice.”
“I see. Well, I supposse we do owe you our lives. We will help you.”
“Tanks. So... who are ye?”
“Oh, sorry. My name is Altian. My teleporting associate is Lokan and...”
“I am Kilina,” said the banshee, “thanks, Altian, but I can talk by myself.”
“Whatever. And you might be?”
“I'z warboss Nagosh Ubzug of da Skull smashaz!”
“I'z flashgit Gobroz. Just call me Gobroz.”
“And I'z Muskit,” he picked up our favourite squig, “and dis 'ere, is Ugu!”
“Pleased to mee...”
“Oh, what a cute little thing!”
Kilina ran to Muskit and took Ugu from his arms. She started squeezing him. The little guy seemed to like it.
“Oy! Wot ya doin'! Give 'im back!”
“No, he's mine! So cute and squishy!”

The ork and the banshee started arguing. Ugu freed himself from Kilina's grasp and headed towards Lokan. The warp spider just looked at the squig. He then stretched an arm and scratched the little thing on its back.
Altian and Nagosh separated the two.
“Enough of this!”
“Save da fightin' for lata', Muskit!”
The two looked at each other. The looks showed rivalry. The two leaders shook their heads and said together:
“Inner-conflicts/z are never good.”
After that sentence, they both stared at each other.
“We should find our warlock... yeah.”
“I agree! Come on, flashgit Gobroz! We'z goin'!”
“Yeh, boss! Come on, ya two!”
The three Eldar, three Orks and Ugu set course for the seeecret Eldar outpost. They went like so:
The first were Altian and Gobroz. Perhaps they will talk 'bout stuff?
Lokan was close behind. Strangely, Ugu walked beside him and the silent warp spider seemed to enjoy the squig's company.
Nagosh walked behind the unlikely duo.
Last were Muskit and Kilina. They were still arguing about Ugu, oblivious to the fact that the squig was with Lokan.

Tau22 is offline  
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome