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post #1 of (permalink) Old 08-10-15, 01:24 AM Thread Starter
Captain_Loken
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Default Lord Of Darkness--

This is kind of an experiment, as I have usually written MTG themed stories, and I absolutely adore this setting. I decided to pull the trigger and this is just something I put together within the last hour or so.

I have written just a tidbit of the first chapter, and would love some constructive criticism so I can become a better writer!



CHAPTER 1

Judas felt a tingle down his spine as he awoke from his hibernation. The vox speaker, located on his right side next to the door to the hallway chamber, spoke to him.

“Captain Judas, we have arrived at Condus X.”

“Thank you, sergeant.” He replied as he switched the vox speaker off. His head ached as the voices appeared once again. He put his helmet back on, it’s horned crown glowed in the dank, dark chamber that was his billet. I slept in my armor once again. He thought to himself. As the voices dissipated, he thanked his helmet which had been altered by the Tech Priests of Mars to cut telepathic connections from the outside world.

Judas knew the warp changed the normal man, but he was the opposite of a normal man. He was no mere mortal, yet he was no longer an Astartes. His brothers of the past had pushed him away because he was one of the many who disobeyed the Emperor’s edict about using psychic power. It didn’t matter to Judas, he had his own ship, the Angel of Destruction, and led a warband of degenerates who escaped the Great Crusade’s vengeance, almost ten thousand year earlier.

Judas knew he would have to leave the Great Eye eventually, however he didn’t want to. It was easier here. The demons he encountered were nothing but mere play things to him. He bound more than one of them to fight for him so his life was not in danger.

He looked down to his gauntleted hand that’s dark red color had faded over time. I have the power, why should I have to leave? He asked himself, but he knew the answer. His warband yearned to fight and he would give it to him, or they would crumble.

He opened the door to the hallway outside his billet and met Sergeant Kornah who was waiting for him. “Are you ready, my Lord?” Kornah asked, hesitation in his tone. Judas could hear Kornah’s thoughts, which told him that his second did not agree with his decision to leave the Eye.

“Yes, let us get to the command deck and begin our path outwards.” Judas’ black tabard swayed, beating against his legs as he walked, but he was used to it. It was heavily worn after these last millennia. He still wore the sigil of his old legion. Which he knew would no longer accept him. He didn’t want to change something he idolized for decades. It felt wrong.

They walked through the corridors of the Angel of Destruction, which had become a warship of the damned. The Great Eye changed his crew. While he still had many human slaves and mechanic servitors, his brothers had become much more than mere Astartes. They grew larger, some had tendrils of flesh growing where their arms should be, and some had no flesh there at all, but servos controlled mechanical arms.

As Judas passed billet by billet, he saw his brothers with their familiars, which had become troublesome to Judas as of late. They needed to feed, and he was running out of slaves to give them. He would need to return to the Eye so he could gather more human prey.

He shook the thought from his head as he had more pressing matters to deal with. His old brother Angeles had called to him through telepathic communication. He explained to Judas that he would have to find his way out of the Eye because of a brutal war about to be waged between the greater legions. Angeles’ warning had come just in time. As soon as his Astropath sparked to life, the greater legions came out of the warp to meet him. That experience had shook him.

Now they were out of the warp, and as Judas had entered the command deck, he could hear the servitors working vigorously to set the coordinates for the shuttles to take. He smiled wryly, and nodded to himself in acceptance.

“How long before we can launch the first shuttle?” He asked, and Kornah responded. “Less than an hour, Lord.”

“Very good, continue on.” Judas walked to his throne and sat awaiting confirmation. He was anxious to learn of the people on this planet. It had been so long since he had left the Eye, and he felt like he was leaving his home.

**************************


BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! SKULLS FOR HIS SKULL THRONE!

Last edited by Captain_Loken; 08-10-15 at 09:33 PM.
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