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post #4 of (permalink) Old 10-20-13, 05:05 AM
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Myen'Tal's Flag is: USA
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tennessee
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I think your story would do well with a small sentence clarifying each of your "fantasy words" used by the Dwarves. I don't think you actually referred your characters as Dwarves at all, though it was easy enough to piece together, like most of your Dwarven language. You just need to let the reader know which term is which, or people will get them confused.

Keep it up.

“Evil is relative…You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger.”
-Glen Cook, The Black Company

Tales of Heroism and Bravery, in the 41st Millennium and the Old World. Perhaps some Realm Gate Wars in the future .

Gods' Hall (Completed)

The New Word (Completed)
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