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post #2 of (permalink) Old 11-27-11, 03:30 PM
Ambush Beast
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Ambush Beast's Flag is: USA
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Vancouver Washington
Posts: 578
Reputation: 33
Default Real good

When I first started to read this I noticed bad grammar, bad punctuation and bad spacing, but hold on! I pressed forward and started to be drawn into the story. There are not too many stories that deal with the feminine side of things from the perspective you have presented.

The more I read the more I enjoyed your work and by the time I had finished reading I only wanted more.

The grammar, spelling, punctuation and spacing will come with time and discipline so don't be discouraged. You have an enormous amount of talent so work hard to develop your skill. Other than the aforementioned faults that come with being new to the writing lifestyle, over-all, this story is Awesome!

We move slowly through the shrouds of fog sending pestilence before us. There is no hope! We are the Death Guard. Fear us for we are coming for you!
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