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post #1 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 02:18 AM Thread Starter
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Default What have video games taught you?

So what life lessons have you learned from video games?

1. Flamethrowers don't work in hard vacuum (Dead Space)
2. To treat bullet wounds, all you need is a set of pliers, a hunting knife and some syringes of morphein (Far Cry 2)
3. Even in the midst of a mission to secure the fate of the human race, there is still time to go looking for captured family members (Gears 2)
4. It's possible to make an interstellar spaceship from nothing more than baked bean tins (Commander Keen)
5. Wearing a helmet/ observing proper military uniform requirements WILL get you killed at the first opportunity (Gears of War 1 and 2)
6. Scientists are the most skilled and dangerous people in the universe (Half-Life, Dead Space)
7. Conversely, the least useful people (and the first ones to die horribly) are the trained soldiers.
8. Never, EVER trust a talking computer, no matter how nice it seems (Portal, Gears 2)
9. Governments cover up everything (Dead Rising)
10. There is always one species of alien that has nothing better to do than have sex with you (Mass Effect)

There's just a few of the ones i could think of, anyone else got some lessons to teach?

On the subject of Rat Ogres:
But if we give them laser eyes and mounted guns, we'll have to bring in Clan Skryre, and everyone knows how much those limp-tailed snuff addicts overcharge.
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post #2 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 02:29 AM
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Food you find on the ground can heal serious injuries!
And always beat up the elf with a sack, he has magic potions
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post #3 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 02:55 AM
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they give you bad grades i haven't really experienced this, but most of my friends have, so that's why i kinda stopped playing video games
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post #4 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 02:58 AM
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post #5 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 04:23 AM
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theres nothing a faceless man in 2 a tonne armour suit cant fix
(im sure you all know what im talking about)

Seven, That is all.
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post #6 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 04:40 AM
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Keep your head down and shoot every bloody thing before it gets YOU! (Zombie games where there's no-one else but zombies) Shoot the rat, IT'S ALSO A ZOMBIE!

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post #7 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 04:46 AM
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what ever you do. keep the flame thrower guy away from you. when he dies he goes BOOM. (army games)

also.

seek cover. the best is a tent. tarp is the strongest material ever. (killzone)

edit: don't flip a car while driving it will spontaineously catch on fire then explode (driver and grand theft auto)
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post #8 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 08:37 AM
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Switching guns from one to the other and back again will rapidly reload them faster than it will by hitting the actual reload button - HL2

Car are incredibly easy to steal when they start without a key - GTA games

Hookers give you health back when you have sex with them - GTA games

Chinese soldiers have incredibly poor aim - Crysis

Bottle Caps will be the money of the future so save them now - Fallout 1-3

Health packs, weapons, and ammo are ALWAYS just lying about whenever you need them - Nearly every shooter since Doom

Ninjas can easily swing swords 5 times their size and weight because they are ninjas - Ninja Gaiden

Killing people is fun and easy and they continually come back from having their spinal columns removed without apparent back problems - Mortal Kombat

Ordinance never falls randomly but instead always hits premade craters - Medal of Honor 1

Cops don't like it when you feed on them/others in the middle of the street but it is ok in an alley - Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines

NO ONE is capable of solving their own problems without your help - ALL rpg's.

one thing I want is the ability to split my fire everywhere, it makes no sense that a squad of 10 guard or marines or whatever all have to fire at 1 target with everything, is the guy with the lascannon not smart enough to realize maybe he would be better off firing at the massive tank looming overhead instead of the little man no bigger than a squat running at him, or is that far too complex for the 10yr olds?

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post #9 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 12:46 PM
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You can take half a clip of bullets and just wait a bit till you heal. (all shooters)

The only way to ensure the zombies won't eat you is to wear a trench coat and mask and sell guns to their enemies. (Resident Evil)

The guy with the big hair usually gets the girl.

A head shot does not always gaurantee an instant death.

Spooky music always means a monster is in the wardrobe/manhole/air vent.

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post #10 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-17-08, 12:48 PM
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Don't stand next to anyone without a surname as they are likely to be an extra who gets killed in the next cutscene.

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