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post #51 of 69 (permalink) Old 11-24-08, 09:10 AM
The Omnipotent
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soldiers can only understand orders. any attempt at normal conversation fails - Endwar
mercenaries can take huge amounts of firepower - army of 2, mercenaries
blowing up planets is FUCKING AWESOME!!! - spore
the less training your guy has, the easier the game will be - all games except the halo series

I am the devourer of worlds and the plunderer of planets. I am the bane of races, the destroyer of intelligence. I am the omnipotent and you will all bow before me.
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post #52 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-16-09, 08:35 PM
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when you fight creatures/monsters you always take it in turns (Final Fantasy)

knives are not only stronger but generally better that guns (Final Fantasy)

1 American can take out the entire German army with 2 guns (All WW2 games)

even alternate realities/other planets/other species and/or other countries all speak perfect English (most games)

when you press square, triangle, circle, X, R1, R2, L1 or L2 in a certain order you can become invincible and have infinite ammo even for a minigun/rocket launcher (most games)

I nearly hit a cat driving my car today.
Who on Earth taught a cat to drive?
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post #53 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 03:35 AM
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Video Games have taught me:

That Alien races are always hostile, and it is better to shoot first.

Women are always scantily clad and carry handguns.

There is an ancient civilization with advanced technology buried in everyone's backyard.

So many Nazis died during WWII that it's likely Europe is completely depopulated of Germanic-backrounded people.

You can kill someone wearing two-ton armor with a single shot from a sniper designed to kill unarmored foes.

If you are carrying something heavy, you cannot move at all until you drop it.

Guns are not always preferable to swords.

If it bleeds, you can kill it.


You'll forgive me, but you must be mistaken. I've met your makers, and they don't even know your name...

(Updated Mar. 19)

Hat in the Ring
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post #54 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 03:39 AM
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Pounding on a building with a hammer in a repeating motion will cause it to self-assemble. The more people pounding, the faster it goes. (Age of Empires Series)

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post #55 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 05:26 AM
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Feel free to fire wildly yours bullets don't hurt your friends and theirs won't hurt you ((Most shooters))

You need additional Pylons ((starcraft))

Hide behind your Friends unlike you the rest of the god damn army is invincible ((most shooters))

The great pyramids, the hanging gardens, the great wall and the Kremlin were built in Detroit 1190 AD ((Civilization))

A magic faerie makes bodies disappear. ((Most shooters))

Quick time sequences SUCK! ((RE4))

Everyone carries multiple parachutes even if there are no aircraft on a map. ((Battlefield series))

The annoying bastard that pisses you off all game saves everyone and sacrifices himself in the process. ((World in conflict))

No one can speak any known language they just speak gibberish ((Sid Meir's Pirates))

When in doubt, empty the magazine.

A Smith & Wesson beats four aces

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post #56 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 10:47 AM
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Let's see, what did I learn...

Space is not always deadly when you take a walk outside without protection (some scifie games)
Most people you meet only have limited orathory and movement capabilities, be it a king, a guard, or a hooker, and even when you spend houres of travelling and fighting with them. (all RPGs)
Basic physics aren't always something you can relay on. (most games)
You are able to carry around MUCH more then you ever thought you could. (most games)
No matter how big the weapon, you can wield it one handed, and no matter how big the foe is, you will always hit the right spots. (all final fantasy games)
Woman are eyecandy and small, furry animals are comic relieve. (again, most games)

"Sisters, do not fear or falter, for HIS light awaits at the end of this purgatory. Let this day be the day of our wrath! Alas Arabella!!!"

The late Canoness Athena Innocentia of the Order of the Sacred Rose before the battle of Pyxis Secundus
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post #57 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 10:59 AM
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I recently discovered that we all can be NFL quarterbacks of legend, because in Left 4 Dead, you can pitch a full tank of propane a couple hundred feet without any problems, even when you're bleeding and there are mobs of zombies attacking you.

Life is incredibly cheap. Even if you're not supposed to be killing people in the game, you find ways to do it all the same-- case and point, The Sims series & Spore.

My homebrew Space Marine Chapter: The Astartes Lions Rampant

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post #58 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 11:21 AM
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no matter how many you build you always need more plyons (starcraft)

Lions dont need bladders or stomachs or vital organs to live ( World of Warcraft)

if you eat enough radioactive dog meat you will get healed (Fallout 3)

robots are asshole ( Portal,Halo)

the xmen always work in 4 man teams, ALWAYS ( xmen legends)

-- Pertoleum May The Force Be With You !!
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post #59 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 02:16 PM
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1:Red barrels ALLWAYS explode (any shooter)
2:Monkeys will help you if you give them bannanas (lego indy)

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post #60 of 69 (permalink) Old 02-17-09, 03:08 PM
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If you can't injure someone their is always another way to beat them. ( Syphon Filter- Helicopter Blades)

They is always somewere to run( Mirrors Edge)

Bad Guys will always tell you their plan and how to beat them (Mirrors Edge)

It doesn't matter how cool you are you still need to die (Raam-Gears1)

Just because it is claimed you are more powerful than your predecesor doesn't me you are(Scourge- Gears 2)

If you are a good guy and about to die someone will happen to save you, or the heartless super villian will suddenly remember you were nice to him as a child(Every Game)

Being cocky does keep you alive(Cole- Gears 1&2)

If you spend 47 million on Lionel Messi he will get injured for 9 months with a damaged spine( Football Manager)

If your name is Dizzy Wallin and you are captured, you will feature in Gears 3 or I will have to bomb Epic Games, for being twats(Gears2)

If you think after several years of being captured your wife looks like she did before, you ain't looking hard enough (Gears2)

If you are reckless you survive, if you are cautious you get sniped ( most games)

No matter how much effort a developer puts into a game at some point the player will walk through scenery, or die randomly (every game)

If you spend 7 game years getting Scarbourgh to the top of the Premiership, the game data will corrupt with 3 games to go before the end of the season ( football manager)

Irrelivent of difficultly if you are on Assassin's Creed it will be boring and very easy ( Assassin's Creed)

Chicken heals severe sword wounds (Tekkan 2)

Only eat ghosts when they are blue (Pacman)

Cubert never gets boring (Cubert)

Pokemon will always be too easy (Pokemon)

If you spend 1 hour escorting a character to safety across an entire city they will get killed during a cutscene ( most escort levels)

Just as you start to like your character they will die in a nuuclear explosion( COD4)

Fallout Never gets boring( fallout 1&2&3)

Nomatter how hard you try you can never replay an Eldar Scrolls game once you have finished it once ( all eldar scrolls series)

Do not disallusion yourself brothers, today we die, our bodies broken and our souls shattered, we will be remembered as corpses on a battlefield.Raise hell my brothers for one day our great Father will hear of our struggle, and he will be honoured to call us his Sons. In death our Glory shall become eternal.' Karik Farron, 1st Lord of the Dark Scorchers at the Fall of Kempar.

'like a blind man in a dark room trying to find a black cat that isn't there'-imntdead

Last edited by Zondarian; 02-17-09 at 03:16 PM.
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