Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Northern Virginia, USA
This is an old one, but it always made me laugh:
A 5th grade teacher has been having trouble with his class and is tired of them always saying and doing stupid things. Finally one day he decides to talk to them all about this issue. Lecturing from his podium, he begins "Children, in modern society, we value intelligence. Smart people do well, and idiots lag behind. I hope that you will all become well educated, well rounded members of society one day. To do that you must first believe that you can, and pay attention in this class. You can either believe yourself to be intelligent, and listen to what I have to say, or you can be an idiot, destined for nothing but failure". He continues his lecture "To prove that I believe in all of you, I would like to ask you to do something for me. If anyone here is an idiot, I would like them to stand." All of the children look around the room, but none of them move from their seats. Just as the teacher is about to congratulate them for choosing to pay attention and do well, a little boy stands up in the middle of the room. Amazed, the teacher says "I can't believe it, why on earth would you stand up?”. To this, the little boy replies "Well, I didn't want you to feel like you were the only idiot in the room".
"In the game of chess, you must never let your opponent see your pieces."
-Captain Zapp Brannigan
Last edited by CPT Killjoy; 04-30-12 at 02:43 PM.