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post #1 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 11:29 AM Thread Starter
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Default got any good jokes

ok, so this is my first ever, official post... and im kinda not the best, and feeling down, lol... so i wanted to see what kinda jokes people have... im sure there would be a lot i havent heard, and i need some new ones to impress friends, lolz...

so i guess lets see who has the best joke!!!!

(no racial jokes please, i hear enough of them already)

If you can't amaze people with your intelligence... Confuse them with your bullshit!
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post #2 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 11:48 AM
I Piss in your Cheerios
 
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post #3 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 12:02 PM
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Welcome to the boards, you made the right move, have no good jokes but reference your quote on the sperm, you don't have to be the strongest or the fastest just the one with the hardest head!






Last edited by Oldman78; 04-30-12 at 03:14 PM.
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post #4 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 12:05 PM Thread Starter
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haha, that was good... lets see who tops that?

If you can't amaze people with your intelligence... Confuse them with your bullshit!
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post #5 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 02:02 PM
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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch"

Necrons W3 T0 L1

Death Korps W1 T0 L1

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post #6 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 02:06 PM
I Piss in your Cheerios
 
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post #7 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 02:13 PM
ZOMGZOR CUSTOM USER TITLE
 
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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

http://i.imgur.com/aPfHUHy.gif?1




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post #8 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 02:18 PM
nice boy, daft though !
 
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

HUGE BITZ RESTOCK NOW ON
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post #9 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 02:23 PM
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What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A mosquito stops sucking when you smack it



EDIT: The entirety of the "Forum Formula" thread is hilarious. It's our resident blabbity thread. Also, stay away from Serpion5 (aka Serpaderp or Serp), he's legally insane.

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post #10 of 154 (permalink) Old 04-30-12, 02:37 PM
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This is an old one, but it always made me laugh:

A 5th grade teacher has been having trouble with his class and is tired of them always saying and doing stupid things. Finally one day he decides to talk to them all about this issue. Lecturing from his podium, he begins "Children, in modern society, we value intelligence. Smart people do well, and idiots lag behind. I hope that you will all become well educated, well rounded members of society one day. To do that you must first believe that you can, and pay attention in this class. You can either believe yourself to be intelligent, and listen to what I have to say, or you can be an idiot, destined for nothing but failure". He continues his lecture "To prove that I believe in all of you, I would like to ask you to do something for me. If anyone here is an idiot, I would like them to stand." All of the children look around the room, but none of them move from their seats. Just as the teacher is about to congratulate them for choosing to pay attention and do well, a little boy stands up in the middle of the room. Amazed, the teacher says "I can't believe it, why on earth would you stand up?”. To this, the little boy replies "Well, I didn't want you to feel like you were the only idiot in the room".

"In the game of chess, you must never let your opponent see your pieces."
-Captain Zapp Brannigan

Last edited by CPT Killjoy; 04-30-12 at 02:43 PM.
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